By Jen Kirsch
We’ve all been there: you’re having a great day until you log on to Facebook and see that some girl—that you may or may not know—has written on your boyfriend’s wall or liked his status … again. Whether or not she’s a threat isn’t as important as how you deal with it.
Here is a step-by-step guide on how to react, deal with the emotions you’re feeling and how to approach your significant other without looking (or being labeled as) a “crazy paranoid” girlfriend.
Step 1: Don’t act impulsively. When we see something that hurts us in some way, we often want to mark our territory, and the ideas that come to mind in the heat of the moment are usually one’s we would never think of if we weren’t worked up. The same goes for writing passive-aggressive status updates (you know the kind: lyrics and quotes that are clearly referring to this situation). Therefore, don’t click “like” or make a catty comment on this girl’s wall post on your boyfriend’s page. Just because it’s easy to respond right away doesn’t mean you should. Don’t feel and type. Instead, allow some time to pass, because if you make a scene, you’ll end up looking bad, not her. Remember, whatever happens on the interwebs is there to stay. People get instantly alerted of your comments and posts, and try-as-you-might to not look jealous or paranoid, people tend to see through things. So no passive-aggressive status updates, k?
Step 2: Pinpoint the real issue. I get it, the last thing we want is some random all up in our significant other’s grill, but instead of getting all wrapped up in the who, what, where, why, when and how of it all, check in with yourself to see what the real issue is here. Do you think your partner is cheating? Do you not trust him? Is this girl a smokeshow and you’re jealous of her looks? Do you think he’s keeping something from you? If you can pinpoint the real cause of your negative emotions, you can deal with them. Let’s be real here, girly: when we get upset, it’s about stuff that we’re going through and not about the actual trigger. To make yourself feel better, do things that make you happy. Work out, treat yourself to a blow-out at a blow dry bar or a mani, and perhaps write a gratitude list of five things you’re grateful for. By focusing on the positive, you can see yourself as worthy and not as a victim. What a great way to feel in control, I say!
Check out the next two steps on YourTango.com.
*Photo courtesy of Shutterstock.
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