Christelyn Karazin Explains the Message Behind Her Book “Swirling”

August 20th, 2012 - By MN Editor

Madame Noire caught up with author Christelyn Karazin as she explains the concept behind her book “Swirling” and the importance of judging a man for his character rather than his color.

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Carmen

Im black and my boyfriend is Indian…love IS reallly blind <3
Chelsea

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with her message or her book…The problem here is just plain double standards and hypocricy and fear…Black Men have been able to have their cake and eat it too so to speak and their world as they know it is unraveling so in order to try to keep BW in line they are using every tactic possible ex: “The WM use to be your slaveowner” “” he won’t be able to satisfy you” ” He won’t understand your culture” ”his family will hate you” ”he’ll call you the N word when he gets mad at you”….and the list goes on but the problem is BM never come up with these same warnings when they are with WW…and WW and WM come from the same families and backgrounds as WM? Therefore whatever the WM learns growing up the WW learns too right? BM need to give it a rest and step aside…stop acting like jealous little children and worry about your own plight in life..The bottom line is that BM have been swirling freely now it’s the BW’s turn and all the vile comments…deragatory remarks..historical references..and even threats can’t stop BW from crossing over if they choose to do so …and many in the Black community are going to have to learn to live with it.
Mary 2013

I have read Christelyn Karazin’s blog site, and watched her youtube channel. It appears as though she is in a position to provide advice, because her current lifestyle (in all honesty) is better than the majority of black American women in the U.S. The facts are, she is married, and not a ‘baby’s momma.’ Also, her husband apparently makes a good living, because she is able to live in a nice area of California. In addition, she’s a stay at home mom, therefore, she is directly able to rear her children, w/out having to work a 9 to 5 like so many other women.

If anything, her lifestyle seems to have enabled her to focus her energy on writing, and other creative avenues. I purchased her book, and I wish her much success!
Mary 2013

Irrespective of where you reside in the U.S., you won’t find too many black married couples raising children together. You can deny reality, but that doesn’t change the truth. Smart/forward thinking/attractive black American women tend to date men based on their character, career and upbringing/family values, not their race.
midniteflwr

I watched the video and one thing stuck out to me. The author stated that she had to abandon her list and began to focus on character. I suspect that she was, is, and will always be attracted to black men but she was not able to find a black man who she would considered to be equally yoked with. Or, she has dated black men in the past that shared her interests, morals, and values but for one reason or another things did not work out. Or …lol.. she found that these black men were not interested in her. This is only my perspective. In the end whatever the case may be it doesn’t take away from the fact that she is an attractive woman who wanted love and found it.
My 2 Cents

Her book was wonderful. The moral of the book is to let black women know it’s okay to exercise their right to date and marry whomever they choose be with, Black, White, Asian, Latin or Indian. I’ve read comments that said why do black women need the okay to do so? Well the truth is we don’t, but when I have several single college educated black female friends who are single because they don’t want to disappoint their families for dating interracial it’s something wrong. Notice how I said “SINGLE.” These women are in shape, have their own car(S), home and careers. But because they refuse to date a man who’s been in jail, have kids (because non of them have kids), and would like to get married one day they are still single. And they want to please their families by being with a black man they refused to even go out on a date with a man from any other race, and they’ve been asked time and TIME again.

Let’s play a numbers game…the truth is that there are 87 black men to every 100 black women (so that leaves 13 black women single even if every black woman was paired with a black man)…now using those same statistics out of those 87 men, 20 of them date and marry interracially. Out of those 67, 20 are homosexuals which leaves 47 and out of those 47, 20 of them are in prison. So that leaves 27 eligible black men? Now I’m not making up these numbers, they are straight from the U.S. Census Bureau.

Even in a perfect World if every black man MARRIED a black woman, what are those 13% of black women left over suppose to do? When a man from another race ask a black woman out, black women shouldn’t be thinking will my family and friends be upset if I’m with this guy? They should just keep their options open and not be afraid to take new chances from a man just because he’s of a different background.
- http://profiles.yahoo.com/u/V6O2EBOSDDIC3EESW3JS22OYWA Vic
  
  The issue is that “swirling” is almost always directed towards white people. Not other forms of non white people , but white people – the people directly and indirectly responsible for the condition of many of our relationships in the first place. When people say ” date outside your race” they’re talking about getting in bed with somebody white.
- Nisha
  
  I’d really like someone to answer this. What ARE those leftover black women supposed to do? Most of them seem to thinks that we aren’t worth dating or marrying. So they basically think we should be alone. And please people…when mentioning IR dating…black women don’t just date interracially with white men…there are other races besides black and white!!
- Get Real
  
  Actually… You ARE making those numbers up. They are not from the CENSUS Bureau…
Mytisque

This is old. Date who you want. Nobody cares. We are all going to die one day. So choosing a white woman/man, or blue woman/man is not going to matter
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=551680935 Eric McDaniel

Date who you want to date but don’t say it’s because I’m an unededucated, deadbeat, loser.
- In All Honesty
  
  It really is this simple. For the “Swirling” crowd to comply with such common standards is like pulling teeth.
- Pseudonym
  
  yES, Eric! hahaha. I totally second that! Just date who you want because he’s nice and makes you feel loved.
- Chelsea
  
  Did she say that or are you battling your own demons?
  Just because BW find other race men attractive doesn’t mean we’re doing at your expense..most BW don’t have an agenda when they date …don’t flatter yourself.
- http://www.facebook.com/people/Latrece-Hoskins/100002627012546 Latrece Hoskins
  
  lol! well said.
Oops

All of the articles on this
topic inevitably result in polarized debates about who should date whom. But the simple
fact remains:

Even if EVERY black man matched up with a black woman, because of the disparity
in numbers there will be still be single black women.

To those who have a problem with black women “swirling”… what would
you have these remaining single women do instead? Stay unattached? Share black
men?
- Blackhawk
  
  If every man is matched up with every woman period. It would still be single ladies remaining.. then what?
RoseBlossom

What’s ironic is no one takes into consideration how white people feel.

As a white woman, I’ll be honest, I don’t think many white people are attracted to blacks, and this includes white men. Only about 2% of US are dating outside of our race. That doesn’t mean we hate blacks, just that we are not attracted to them as marriage partners.
- http://profiles.yahoo.com/u/V6O2EBOSDDIC3EESW3JS22OYWA Vic
  
  Much of our existence is catered towards how “white people feel” . Especially white females…. which is a direct and indirect reason why this book even exists .
- Blackhawk
  
  Thank you.. its only natural to want to form a relationship and have children with someone who looks and share the same culture as you.
  - thatsjustme
    
    Nope. Not natural. It’s Common. Commonplace. But, there’s nothing natural about it.
    Not every black person looks similar. Black people come in a variety of shapes and colors. Not every black person shares the same culture. Yet people want to act as though all black people belong to the same group.
    For example, African american culture is very different from African culture. Are people of the two groups expected to feel some sort of comraderie because of the high melanin content of their skin? And not all black have high melanin content in their skin, so what’s all of this ” looks and share the same culture as you” about?
    It’s not real.
    - Blackhawk
      
      I disagree.. it was a study on television not long ago, that children after a certain age (maybe 6 or 7) began to form their own groups of playmates based on skin color. People naturally gravitate toward people who looks like them, and i have proof… just look at the world.
      - Nisha
        
        And that needs to stop. It’s separatism. We are all human and equal…or at least shoud be. Kids group themselves by race, sex, hair color, size..al kinds of things and that leds to “cliques”. That then leads to bullying kids who are different or racism….all leads to negativity because there’s always someone excluded.
    - RoseBlossom
      
      I read it from an article based on the US Census.
      
      Look, I’m not trying to offend just trying to add useful info in the conversation. I’m 20, I attend a private university in the North, I was raised in
      Pennsylvania. And from all of my white friends and family members, none of the males consider black women to be even remotely attractive and even if they do fine one attractive, they don’t really think of her as relationship material.
      
      I know that its normal. I don’t believe that ALL black men worship white women, although plenty of white people do think that, which may be another reason why white men think that white women must be the best, because from our perspective it always seems like the minority men are trying to be with white women, like when they get wealthy and successful the first thing they do is seek out white women for marriage and relationships. Of course I know this is not universally true, but this is how plenty of my family and friends think.
      
      Like Blackhawk said, its pretty normal to appreciate the looks of your own race, except I do get the impression that even black men are not thrilled with the looks of black women.
      
      So I guess that sums it up. All men usually prefer the women of their race, but disparity comes in when it comes to black women which may be why others think that black women are not as desirable thus not as many black women are married. I watched a video once that stated 70 percent of black women aren’t married.
      
      Hope I helped give a bit of an honest white perspective,a lot of times we are afraid to speak for fear of being called racist.
      
      XOXO
      - Nisha
        
        I think you need to travel a bit more…get your degree as well. You really shouldn’t speak for all people no matter what race they are. Your honest white perspective is just that…YOURS. And you are what….20? Hopefully what you will learn is this….men or women no matter what race, color, ethnicity or whatever first of all SHOULD BE dating based on compatibility…not necessarily similarity. I am a black woman married to a white man who was previously married to a white woman. Were they compatible? Heck no….were they similar? Yes. Until he got out and started meeting other HUMANS did he realize, when he met me….we are very similar in personality, goals, even physically (although different colors). When you actually start to mingle and get out and know people of other races, you don’t know what’s possible.
        The overall tone of your comments are very negative. But they are true for you I guess. But thankfully most of us like to mingle with others no matter what their race is and develop friendships and relationships with them.
        And you probably aren’t racist, but sheltered and unknowledgable….most definately.
      - Nisha
        
        “Like Blackhawk said, its pretty normal to appreciate the looks of your own race, except I do get the impression that even black men are not thrilled with the looks of black women.”
        Asinine. But then again if that’s all they go for, they shouldn’t be thrilled about their own looks either. How about other traits like personality, education, intelligence, weight (superficial I know), but they aren’t thrilled with their looks?? Pretty shallow.
        ‘I watched a video once that stated 70 percent of black women aren’t married.” Did the video mention the statistics behind this? Can you mention that as well??
        And maybe, alot of the time “you” meaning all white people because you know them all, are afraid to speak up because “you” might have different opinions…maybe?? perhaps???? I know I can’t speak for all black people.
      - Nisha
        
        Oh and one more short comment….why are you on MadameNoire? I know you can go anywhere on the Internet but this doesn’t seem like a site that you would find helpful.
        
        http://twitter.com/eshowoman Friday Foster-ABWW
        
        Right! She has got to be pretty insecure if she comes to a sight for black women to put us down.
- thatsjustme
  
  “What’s ironic is no one takes into consideration how white people feel”
  
  But who cares!? I know I don’t!
  
  I don’t care about what most of any group of people (black or white) are attracted to. If an individual white person doesn’t want to date someone, who is going to make them? No ones going to force anyone to date someone they don’t want. That’s just silly!
  
  And, why are you so concerned about how white people you don’t even know are dating?????? I’m only concerned about the individual men who are interested in me. I don’t care about what most other men may not find attractive about me. No woman should. No person should.
  
  And btw, where are you getting these stats from? 2%? How many white people is that? Does this percentage include americans only or europeans and americans together? What about Australians? Whites in africa, asia, or south america? Lol!
- Nisha
  
  Tell that to my husband! And how do you know how all white people “feel”?
  - TruthHurts
    
    @625e4f0dea0eec830cdfce09d4bafcea:disqus RoseBlossom just wants to make herself feel better by trying to make it seem like other races are not attracted to black women, which is a lie. Asian men, Indian men and YES even white men are attracted to black women. Why do you think there is a rise in interracial marriages among black women and men of other races including (short pause) WHITE MEN. RoseBlossom is really just Negative Nancy trying to make herself seem so desirable. I have family in Canonsburg PA, a small little town and the 6 black female cousins who’s name I can remember now are ALL married to white men with children. So maybe it may be your town where interracial dating just happening, but it will cross over soon enough. Your white male family and friends may just not want to hurt your feelings, truth be told. What if one of them had said, yes I want to marry a beautiful black woman….you would have had a fit, and they know that.
    - Nisha
      
      I believe you’re right because some WW who have no sense of self but plenty of a sense of entitlement would be threatened….by anyone….so I guess today it’s black women. She can go take a seat because I bet I look better than she does at 20 and I’m about to be 44. And I also shatter all of her pre- conceived stereotypical thoughts about black women too. That’s why she needs to travel some…someone will shatter her little closed-minded way of thinking we hope.
- http://twitter.com/eshowoman Friday Foster-ABWW
  
  If a handsome, wealthy black man paid attention to you, you would be doing the Tiger Woods faster than you cab say FOUR!
Stacey

This subject is so old and tired….it’s 2012 date who you wanna date!!!
- http://profiles.yahoo.com/u/V6O2EBOSDDIC3EESW3JS22OYWA Vic
  
  But a lot the problems of 1912 still exist.
  - AzulRosa
    
    It’s the 21 century. We’re suppose to be smarter than this. Screw 1912.
  - disqus_JhvjdPARm3
    
    “But a lot the problems of 1912 still exist”
    Only when DBR males and females finally get the message that they can’t control BW’s bodies. .
  - disqus_JhvjdPARm3
    
    “But a lot the problems of 1912 still exist”
    Only when DBR males and females finally get the message that they can’t control BW’s bodies. .
Kristina Tramel

I never thought I needed a white man to “make it all better”. When I was a single mother on many single mother groups online I notice that white men also had OOW babies and act like how many people think only black men do when OOW children are involved. Any man of any race can treat you like trash.
Torontochick

I like Christelyn, I just don’t understand her. I have no desire to convince other women to give IR a go because I wouldn’t be friends with or associated with a woman who was vehemently against it (i.e. racist). I also don’t understand her husband’s participation. Isn’t he mortified to be used as a poster child for IR marriage?

The fact is that IR is not an option for everyone, even if it IS a good idea. The couple has to be part of the same subculture for it to work (ie anime lovers with anime lovers, rockers with rockers, hip-hop lovers with hip-hop lovers, etc.) so some semblance of likeness is still present/important. If you’re deeply entrenched in everything that is black in terms of your interests, you’re probably not going to be compatible with the vast majority of men of other races.
- thatsjustme
  
  Interracial relationships are an option for anyone who is open to it. You don’t have to be special to date someone outside of your “race”.
  - http://twitter.com/eshowoman Friday Foster-ABWW
    
    That is BS. Non-black men are not going to start flocking to black women just because we become open to it. Many non-black men will never consider dating black women and are convinced that all the stereotypes are true. Date whoever you want, but the idea that there are millions of non-black men waiting for open minded black women to date and marry is ridiculous.
kinismos

Christelyn, thank you for posting this. From the responses, there are some really sick people out there. You’ve shown us how many diseased, self-hating souls there are. It must be really painful for these people to get up in the morning and face each day of life.
- thatsjustme
  
  True. Anyone who hates any group of human beings hates themselves really, because after all we are all part of the one true race. The human race.
thatsjustme

I’m a black woman. Personally, I am mainly attracted to white men. I don’t feel like I have to apologize for it either. Why should I date men that I’m not attracted to? I’m not saying black men are unattractive. They’re just not my cup of tea.I don’t mean to be offensive, just blatantly honest.

I don’t feel like I have to prove my blackness. I’ll be black till the day I die. However, my whole identity does not revolve around my blackness. There is so much more to me than that.

Anyway, I’m enjoying reading her (Christelyn) book. I’m not getting from the book the message that black women should date only non-black men to be happy. It seems to be more about black women not being afraid to expand their dating options because of what other people might think of their choices. Let’s face it, alot of black women spend too much time worrying about what this that and the other person thinks of them. This is one reason why the book is relevant.

I on the other hand am the kind of woman who does what she wants with her life regardless of what ANYONE thinks. After all, it is my life.
Stephanie

It’s 2012 date who you wanna date black white asian african who cares….as long as your happy! Thanks for sharing your story Christelyn!!

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