During the course of this season of VH1′s Love and Hip Hop: Atlanta, reality show lovers everywhere witnessed the whirlwind romance that played out between Karlie Redd and Benzino. Many (myself included) looked on with raised eyebrows and skeptic attitudes as the two made serious commitments to one another after what seemed like only a few short weeks of being together (Benzino later claimed they were together for three months). Being the avid reality show viewer that I am, I eventually realized that with each scene receiving 3-4 minutes at most, edits, and almost 10 other cast members who have to all be featured during a one hour, once a week time slot, it is nearly impossible for any of us as viewers to fully know the extent of the relationship between these two cast members. I do not know Karlie or Benzino personally so I could never really pass judgement on the legitimacy of their relationship. With that in mind, do not become blindsided by the title of this article. It isn’t at all about Karlie Redd or Benzino, but the people who their on-screen relationship represented. You know, the people who meet on Monday, are in love by Wednesday, and are getting a place together by Friday? Yeah, those people.
Love can be many things to many different people, but one thing that it should not be is rushed. Piloting a love affair that has taken off too quickly is like flying a plane before it has been checked for malfunctions–the chances of a crash and burn are greatly increased. Of course, there are no guarantees when it comes to the game of love, but pumping your breaks and actually getting to know the person that you’re seeing before diving head first into an exclusive relationship can greatly diminish your chances of have a head-on collision with heartache and headaches.
Notifying anyone outside of your close knit circle of your new found relationship is probably also a bad idea. Try waiting until you are sure that it’s something real that will have some sort of longevity. That includes refraining from professing your love through social networking platforms such as Twitter and Facebook. Drawing a lot of attention to your budding relationship simply adds pressure and having to explain to your cousin, uncle, godmother, neighbor, co-workers, and your 900+ Facebook friends why your relationship status went from “single” to “in a relationship” back to “single” in a three week time span can be really annoying and embarrassing. It also makes you look a little unstable when you say you’re “in love” and back in a relationship every other month.
I realize that being in the presence of a new person that makes you feel all giddy inside can be an amazing and exhilarating experience. I also realize that the adrenaline rush that people get when they become romantically involved with a new person is often mistaken for love. So, how do you differentiate between the two? Time. Only time can tell. So, until you can be totally sure that this is something real, you may want to refrain from making any serious commitments or decisions such as sharing any kind of bill or account such as a phone bill, exchanging house keys, moving in together, getting engaged, going half on a baby, you know the type of things that tie people together way after they no longer want anything to do with one another.
It is my personal belief that every human walking this earth deserves to be in a loving relationship, but nose diving into a serious relationship with some random person to simply appease temporary loneliness and boredom is not the way to go. Those situations seem to almost always backfire and your attempt to fulfill a temporary desire leaves you with long-term heartache. Feel the person out. Are they truly who they present themselves to be? As one Madame Noire writer stated, “get past the representative“ before jumping into something with your whole heart. The temptation to speed things up may arise, but slow and steady wins the race.
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