Should He Meet The Mini’s? Things to Consider Before Introducing Him to Your Kid(s)

August 18th, 2012 - By Brooke Dean

madamenoire.com

1. Is There a Committment?

If you’re casually dating or just “kickin’ it”, then you may not feel the need to introduce your man friend to your children at all. But if you’re looking for something long-term and feel that he may be a keeper, then make sure you’re in a committed relationship before considering him meeting your kids. Sometimes the topic of commitment is avoided, or a committment is assumed – which is a big mistake couples make in matters of the heart. If you haven’t discussed an exclusive relationship, have the talk now before considering anything further. Some children get attached very quickly, so it would be unfair for you to involve someone in their lives when you’re not even sure if he’s 100% committed to YOU. Some men may not want to make the committment official until he meets your children to see if he can handle it, but he should be dating you…and only you…before he meets your kids. Be honest and CLEAR about your relationship status, and make sure you’re comfortable with his level of commitment before introducing him to your child.

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  • Lyndon

    The ONLY time for kids should meet a boyfriend is if there’s an engagement. This way, she knows undoubtedly he’s locked in (you get many boyfriends, engagement is seldom). Many women have a tendency to cycle men in/out thinking each guy is “the One”. And each time the kids suffer due to poor & quick decisions- even if it is unintended.

    I’ve been that guy who’s been offered the opportunity several times to meet kids. It’s a “no” each time. I don’t want to get attached to kids then lose feelings for their mom yet feel obligated b/c of the children.

    It’s safe and smart for both to develop a solid partnership before screwing up children who are already living in a broken home. Bottom line is it’s selfish. The kids gain nothing from meeting a man b/c you “think” he’s a good guy if in the end he leaves them like all the other men.

    • dréa

      But what if you’re locked in to her but then you and child don’t get along? Couldn’t that have been avoided if you met the child prior to an engagement?

  • DUMBBEACHPLEASE

    NEVER LET HIM MEET YOUR KIDS UNLESS HE’S PAYING FOR THE FOOD THEY EAT AND THE SHOES ON THEIR FEET. IF HE HAPPENS TO BUMP INTO YOUR KIDS, NEVER DISPLAY ANY PDA AND TELL YOUR KIDS HE’S GAY AND JUST A FRIEND YOU GREW UP WITH AND HAVENT SEEN IN YEARS. YOU’RE LIKELY TELLING THE TRUTH ANYWAY. HA HA HA

    • DUMBBEACHPLEASE

      BUT YOU LOVE ME THOUGH

  • quest

    There should be a article written about men and how they bring their children around different women and how comfortable other women are to be around a man’s children to soon. I am not comfortable being around a man’s children right away. But these insecure and desperate women have no problem with it. All they want is for the child to go to their mother and talk about her so she can feel validated.

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/TUEXVVHBFHYJ5T36VNTAD3PYTQ Cool Breeze

    Black women are quicker to invite a man into their bedroom than they are their kids.

    • DUMBBEACHPLEASE

      FINALLY I AGREE WITH YOU. YOU ARE NOT ONLY OBESSESED WITH US, YOU’RE OBSERVATIVE TOO!

      • L-Boogie

        LOL! This is so funny. But the word is observant.

    • L-Boogie

      You sound bitter. Are you okay?