Why I Prefer the Company of Men Over Women

August 15th, 2012 - By Charing Ball

Over the years, I have developed a number of successful relationships with women, a whole group of girls that I hang out with and talk to and cry on the shoulder of, if need be. As satisfying as these relationships have been, I would be lying if I said that generally speaking, I do prefer the company of women to men.

Call it casual sexism but I do find male/female friendships to be less stressful, mainly because they are less intimate.  Men want to have fun. Women want to know every damn thing: who your people are? What school did you go to? What do you do for a living? Are they hiring? Do you have a boyfriend? Why don’t you have a boyfriend? Why did you wear that outfit with those shoes?  And then after we are done with our interrogation, we hold a conference about you, usually when you’re away, to help us determine what’s wrong with you and how we can utilize this Intel in our competitive quest for dominance.

And when you are not the subject of discussion, it is all about them. Boyfriend/husband troubles. Career troubles. Kids troubles. Trouble troubles. You, as their friend, have to sit and listen to it all.  Even if you don’t want to. Even if it is the same conversation you had with her many times before. Even if you’re out on a night on the town, trying to have a little fun, and the conversation you had many times before, just isn’t appropriate in this environment. Like the time one of my girlfriends waited until we were all pissy-drunk, having a good time at the club to have an emotional breakdown about her baby father.  The same baby father we ‘d been telling her for the past 2 years was a low-down dirty dog. Why couldn’t you do this at home? Why now do I have to stop having fun to pat you on the back and remind you again that, “he ain’t shyte.”

Nope, I’m just not that interested in that anymore. I prefer going to do things; activities, movies, dinners and brunch without the drama. I prefer conversations outside of work and personal life. I just don’t like to talk about stuff that I want to emotionally get away from. If I’m around people, I want to be happy, to laugh and generally have fun.  And after my outing is over, I don’t want to leave feeling like I just watched a marathon of the Dr. Phil show.

Likewise, I can joke with my male friends in ways I can’t with my female friends. Being naturally snarky, which makes me prone to speaking my true heart at times, men tend not to read into everything I say. They get it and if they don’t, it rolls off their back and we’re off to the next subject. Whereas my female friends may laugh and then 10 minutes later, the question is, “what did you mean by that?” Nothing, really.  But they don’t believe me. And then they are off to hold conference with the other women about my attitude problem.  Verdict: guilty. Punishment: cold-shoulder for a week or until someone else does something to annoy them.

Socially male/female dynamics are not really acceptable. In fact, there are plenty of blogs about why men and women can’t just be friends and why you should be leery of women, who prefer the company of men. They say that these women are high maintenance, emotional retards, who are probably more judgmental, attention seeking competitive than any girl they claim they can’t get along with.

Well duh.

But I’m comfortable with my neurosis, enough to trust in what works for me at the moment. And easy-breezy relationships are the most that I can handle at this stage in life. That’s not to say that men aren’t as aren’t petty, gossipy and backbiting as women. Believe me, they do exist. It’s just that my male friends and I usually laugh and talk shyte about those dudes behind their back.

More on Madame Noire!

Tags:

, , , ,
More from StyleBlazer
More from MommyNoire

Comment Disclaimer

Comments that contain profane or derogatory language, video links or exceed 200 words will require approval by a moderator before appearing in the comment section. XOXO-MN

  • Darcampb

    I feel really sorry for any woman who’s experienced the majority of women she’s encountered to be the vapid catty a$$holes described. There are a lot of wOmen out there like that, but I’ve found them easy to spot and avoid. I feel lucky to be blessed with so many amazing women in my life that are NOTHING like that :) :)

  • MLS2698

    IDK. You can’t fault your friend for becoming an ” emotional drunk ” who somehow, starts to think about their problems after one too many. Lots of people become that way, and guys will cry about the ” one who got away ” when they become upset, complete with the drunk dial from nowhere. At least this is what I’ve heard.

    • KJ23

      You’re right. Drake made a whole song about being depressed after drinking.

  • Kayo

    I don’t have a preference for one over the other. Women and men equally annoy me.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_JAI4SRENU2A5WKRTELXXYJPDSI Kayla

    Kinda reminds me of me growing up. I never really hung around girls. All they used to do was sit around and talk. I wanted to go out and do things, so at recces I would be with the boys playing dodge ball,floor hockey, basketball. etc.. I used to be very smart for my age and well behaved, so much so that the teacher put me with another group of kids, and we would get higher level math. And the other girls in my class saw that and would pick on me for it, but the guys didn’t care. even to this day I never learned how to play double dutch. All I had was my younger brother, so we used to wrestle alot, and my mom was never really the “lets go shopping,get our nails done, and wear high-heels and makeup” type of gal. So I had no one to teach me. It never really posed a problem to me, until I got older and started liking boys, and by that time, I had no idea how to dress, or be “girly”. Male companionship is great, at times. I’ve grown up around guys so I tend to have a male’s point of view a lot of the time. I think it makes me a more rounded individual, because I can comment from different points of views. It just seems to me that when I’m around my girlfriends we talk about more superficial things, and when im around my guy friends we can have deeper more stimulating conversations. Both parties satisfy me when i want to be shallow and deep

    • NiceNasty

      Story of my life,except I had two older brothers. And all we did was climb trees, wrestle, and jus rough house with on another. Their friends was always over and it was fun chilling with them and learning so much stuff that would really surprise you. I mean I’ve tried to have female friends but it jus didn’t work out because they want to talk about dumb stuff, fight over dudes/mess, and all of that he said/she said was a killer. But don’t get me wrong I have a few female friends, but their family so does that count? My mom was a tomboy as well so what can I say. It can be a struggle sometimes though because when your feeling/want to be “girly” at times it’s uncomfortable when your around nothing but guys. That’s way I try to keep aleast one female friend in the mix, now that calls for a good time. But the one thing that really makes me mad with chicks is when your hanging with the fellas and they all seem to think you jus got to be having sex with one if not all of them because your so close. Or the girlfriend who jus can’t except the fact that your his bestfriend and your invloved in his everyday life too. And last but not least when you do have other female friends come around the guys all they do is try and act all that, like their too cute to do or talk around the guys. I mean hello, jus because he sitting closer to where the bathroom is doesn’t mean you don’t have to go to the bathroom that many times. i’m jus saying!!

  • Machelle Kwan

    I grew into a feminine cultured woman, but I too was a tomboy. I still am in some ways. Girlfriends can be cool, but my interactions with men have been much more meaningful. I don’t wanna talk about hair and makeup all the time. I more interested in music, culture, and politics. Men talk about these things. A lot of women don’t. I don’t end up being friends with women because I honestly just don’t have much in common with them. Gossip, cattiness and drama just isn’t my thing. I guess some women are just on another level mentally than the norm.

  • Machelle Kwan

    I grew into a feminine cultured woman, but I too was a tomboy. I still am in some ways. Girlfriends can be cool, but my interactions with men have been much more meaningful. I don’t wanna talk about hair and makeup all the time. I more interested in music, culture, and politics. Men talk about these things. A lot of women don’t. I don’t end up being friends with women because I honestly just don’t have much in common with them. Gossip, cattiness and drama just isn’t my thing. I guess some women are just on another level mentally than the norm.

  • Machelle Kwan

    I grew into a feminine cultured woman, but I too was a tomboy. I still am in some ways. Girlfriends can be cool, but my interactions with men have been much more meaningful. I don’t wanna talk about hair and makeup all the time. I more interested in music, culture, and politics. Men talk about these things. A lot of women don’t. I don’t end up being friends with women because I honestly just don’t have much in common with them. Gossip, cattiness and drama just isn’t my thing. I guess some women are just on another level mentally than the norm.

  • Miss D

    I love my girlfriends but sometimes I just prefer the calm that I experience around my guy friends. I like to talk politics and my male friends are more willing to have a discussion with me. They also tend to listen more, which I appreciate.

  • A.J.

    This article is really speaking to me. When I was a little girl, most of my friends were boys as well. I loved “Batman: The Animated Series” and “Aladdin” and “X-Men”, and I could rock a Nintendo with the best of them. I had my princess-y side, but I always got along better with the fellas. The little girls in school were often mean and petty. With the exception of my best friend, I didn’t find true-blue girlfriends until I was in high school. Even now, I still have issues making friends of the same sex, and a lot of it has to do wit personal interests. It’s true that men are a little easier to get along with, and with women, that whole cattiness/jealousy factor often comes into play. Sometimes it can get a little complicated when romantic feelings come into play (on both sides), but for the most part, it’s a much more enjoyable situation.

  • Candacey Doris

    I like hanging out with guys because most women i know don’t talk about anime, cars, fights, or the latest electronics. Men don’t care what you ate for lunch, they want to discuss that show last night. And that comment about women wanting to know everything is too true. Unless they’re interested in you that way, men don’t care. But tell me why my first day at the community choir i joined all the women wanted to know “who my people” was? And when you don’t want to talk you know they’re talking about you. Don’t get me wrong, i love hanging out with my female friends too, but hanging out with guys can be such a relief. Like a break from BS.

  • realadulttalk

    I’ve always preferred men to women. I have so much fun on my Friday nights with the guys.

  • Nope

    My wife works with an office of all women. Guess what she comes home and talks about every single damn day…?

    • TeahMonae

      LOL!!! You sound like my hubs.

    • MLS2698

      Is she in the medical field? I had a professor once, who warned that the med field was full of drama because of women.

  • lu

    ugh I hate women who always degrade other women and put themselves on a pedestal. Men also talk isht the last I checked and if you’re talking isht about people who are talking isht then your talking isht too. I also hate women that just have to be one of the guys when in reality they look like they’re trying too hard. Good for you that you have guy friends and you’re right women tend to the first to tear each other down but don’t generalize. You can keep girlfriends casual also. It’s not just a guy thing.

    • Nope

      ”
      Men also talk isht the last I checked”

      Difference is, if you have a few guys in a room and one gets up to leave, the rest continue to talk about sports, cars, etc. If it’s a room full of women, they’re going to talk about whoever isn’t in the room at that time. Most women basically hate one another.

      • realadulttalk

        True in a sense–but men have their own little ways about them. I’ve said it to all my male friends. Women gossip–men dry snitch. So you do talk about each other—you’re just a little more sneaky about how you do it.

        • Nope

          I’ll give you that. But men usually ‘dry snitch’ to get something, such as a woman. Women gossip and hate on another just because. They don’t even have to personally know the other person. Guys at least give a head nod to a guy stranger. Women look another over in a split second, and don’t let one smile to the other, cause then she’s fake or suspicious….

          • lu

            and what exactly would make this women different. She is a woman. That’s my problem, when women like to talk isht about other women talking isht and put themselves on a pedestal. Do you really think ur that unique? or that every women besides you is a gossip hungry hater?

            • lol

              Nope is a man talking about women talking about other women on a women’s website…
              smh

          • lu

            and what exactly would make this women different. She is a woman. That’s my problem, when women like to talk isht about other women talking isht and put themselves on a pedestal. Do you really think ur that unique? or that every women besides you is a gossip hungry hater?

          • lu

            and what exactly would make this women different. She is a woman. That’s my problem, when women like to talk isht about other women talking isht and put themselves on a pedestal. Do you really think ur that unique? or that every women besides you is a gossip hungry hater?

          • realadulttalk

            I don’t totally agree-I’ve known every incriminitating detail about the friends of every man I’ve ever dated. It wasn’t information told to “get me” it was information freely given b/c that is what men do. I’ve called men out on this and they just laughed. And again–men can be some of the biggest haters ever–but they don’t typically tell each other what they are doing–it’s whispered to a woman. Ever have one of your friends whose gf despised you? That’s the dude who runs all your business–and that is why she dislikes you.

      • L-Boogie

        True.

    • Gye Nyame

      lu, I don’t understand why this article made you so upset…I suspect it’s because you are one of “those” females she is talking about. I have always been comfortable around males, and I have always found it difficult to hang around females because it gets a little tiring hearing the same stories and giving the same responses. Don’t get me wrong I have 4 true girlfriends that I love and will do anything for, but before you can even engage in a conversation with a female she feels the need to size you up, and I just don’t have time for that. I am pretty confident and I have a lot going for myself, and some insecure women have a problem with that. It used to really bother me, but at 34 I realize its their problem not mine.

      • lu

        nope not really. I’m fairly anti-social in general. My issue is with generalizations. Do you think ur the only women who doesnt like gossip or backstabbing? dont generalize!

        • Gye Nyame

          lu, there is always an exception to the rule, but I don’t think the author is wrong for her generalization…if you don’t believe me visit any church and see if you can survive that shark tank.

      • lu

        nope not really. I’m fairly anti-social in general. My issue is with generalizations. Do you think ur the only women who doesnt like gossip or backstabbing? dont generalize!

      • lu

        nope not really. I’m fairly anti-social in general. My issue is with generalizations. Do you think ur the only women who doesnt like gossip or backstabbing? dont generalize!

  • Hello_Kitty81

    I’m 30, a mother and still a tomboy and loving it! I am a tech geek and I sure can’t find female tech geeks for friends and I’ve been more likely to talk about technology, anime, current events, health and fitness than talk about the next fashion craze, reality TV, newest hair styles (unless it related to dreadlocks) any day. I have XBOX 360 and my guy friends would come and play Halo, GTA and Call of Duty when my daughter is with her dad. All my life I can relate to guys more than girls and having guy friends never effected my love life at all, I’m marrying one of my guy friends next June and him and I been friends since college (12 years).

  • massamom

    Helll YEEEEEESSS GIRLS!!!

    I FINALLY MADE IT HAPPEN…..I GOT RID OF ALL THE GARBAGE THAT GOT ACCUMULATED ON MY CREDIT REPORTS OVER THE YRS – I WAS IN A DEEP GUTTER. COUDN’T BUY ISHHHH. JUST GOT APPROVED FOR A 26K LOAND AND BOUGHT MYSELF A BEAUTIFUL BLACK CAMAARROO – SPECIAL EDITION!!!

    IF YOU STRUGGLING WITH THAT CREDIT HISTORY ISHH, GET RID OF ALL DAT TODAY – CALL THESE AMAZING PROS AT 877-243-0956 . THEY DID AMAZING WORK FOR ME AND WILL DO EVEN BETTER FOR YOU. AND THEY ARE CHEAP AS HELLL FOR WHAT THEY DO. GOT RID OF ALL MY SHYYT IN NO TIME.

    MY HOMEGIRL HAD SOME TERRIBLE CRE DIT ISSUES TOO AND SHE GOT CLEAN TOO. SHE IS GETTING A CONDO RIGHT NOW.

    HIT EM UP – THEY WILL DEFINITELY HELP YOU OUT!!!

Get the MadameNoire
Newsletter The best stories sent right to your inbox!
close [x]