I’d Rather Be Single Than Deal With…How I Realized I’m My Happiest When Riding Solo

September 5, 2012  |  

Being single seems like the plague to some women. It’s like a disease that is searching for a cure. Normally, that cure is in the form of a man. But sometimes being single is better than being in a relationship. I know it may seem farfetched to some, but hear me out. After some time, I can say that I have recently found joy in my single status.

No, seriously.

I haven’t given up on love and hope that a man, marriage, and a family will come, but I have decided that there are just some things that aren’t worth me handing in my single-girl card for. Nope. Not just yet.

Of course a cheating man is one of those things. And most women, besides the ones on any VH1 reality show, would agree; but I’m referring to the things that are a bit more subtle and less scandalous than my man tipping out on me. These things, although they seem small, make for a bad relationship that usually leave me feeling as if the single life is more attractive.

Within the last two years, I have had a couple of opportunities to be in a relationship; and while they were initially tempting offers I quickly…and sometimes not so quickly…realized that being single was definitely the better option.

Without a bit of hesitation, I can easily say that I would rather be single than be in a relationship that lacks trust. Trust issues, like communication problems, are usually at the root of most troubled relationships. It’s really simple, without trust you have no relationship.

We all know this, but often neglect the notion because we want love; but I’ve learned firsthand that no amount of love can resuscitate a relationship that has been killed by the lack of trust. Being single is much better than dealing with a man I don’t trust or one that doesn’t trust me. It’s a headache that single girls have the luxury of not dealing with.

The lack of trust is something that most would say makes for an unhealthy relationship, but there are other things that often go unnoticed that make a relationship just as bad. One of these things is allowing one or both parties to get too comfortable. I would rather be single than be in a relationship that’s just comfortable.

‘Surviving is not enough’ is one of my mottos in life. To live just to say you’re surviving is not living. I want more. And the same is applicable in relationships. I would prefer being single than being in a relationship that’s just holding on by the threads of comfort. Same routine. Small talk. No excitement. Just comfort. No thanks! Being single is more exciting and less mundane than sticking around in a comfortable relationship.

I would rather be single than be in a relationship that requires me to make compromises that jeopardize my dreams or go against my beliefs. Some men require a lot, others require too much, and some are just unrealistic with their requirements. I’ve dated men who say they support me and my endeavors, however, they only support me when those endeavors don’t interfere with their time. If a relationship requires me to neglect goals simply to satisfy a man, I’d rather be single until I find someone on the same page.

My I’d-rather-be-single list isn’t a ‘fake-me out’ attempt to enjoy the single life or a cover-up of “I-Can’t-Get-A-Man-Syndrome.” Honestly, being single is sometimes more appealing than being in some relationships. I have experienced the nuisances that unhealthy relationships can bring and found that being single has actually been the cure.

I am also the first to admit that most people, especially women, want to be in a relationship at some point in their lives. As people, ultimately, we all need love, and yes, it’s a wonderful thing. But here’s the thing: love is wonderful when it’s the right kind of love, and even then, something so wonderful can become hurtful and draining when it’s not right or based on the right things. Therefore, why put yourself through the ringer to tell be coupled up? Being single, at least until you find the right kind of man and the right kind of respect and love, is much better than being in a relationship when it’s wrong.

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