I haven’t gotten into a real fight since high school. I’m more wordsmith than boxer and nobody is cute with an assault charge. However, if someone was talking bad about my husband, I might end up under the jail.
The Internet has given a platform to some of the most mean-spirited, pernicious, malicious, yet weakest people on Earth. Those people flock to comment sections and Twitter en masse. I’ll never forget the time this bizarre girl started trying to insult me in 140-characters or less. I hadn’t even had my breakfast yet that morning, but apparently, I had somehow ticked this complete stranger all the way off. Later, I found out she picks fights via Twitter with random people on the regular. I guess unemployed, uneducated adults living in their mother’s basements don’t have much else to do. Her attacks were personal and outrageous, but I didn’t take the bait because my Twitter profile is public. In this business, insults are nothing new anyway. I just “block and report spam” and keep it moving. However, after apparently looking at pictures of my husband and I on my blog (again nothing else to do), she said something rude about him. Immediately, I chomped that bait and told that bitter, Amber Rose’s afterbirth lookalike exactly what I thought.
I’m all about “turning the other cheek”, but when it comes to my husband, I have no cheeks left.
Disrespecting someone’s husband is just one thing you don’t do. Though people don’t treat it as such, I still believe marriage is sacred. He is his own person and I am my own, but we have joined lives and I’m not going to let someone come into my life talking smack about him uncontested. If someone thought talking mess about him and not me was “leaving me out of it”, then she’d be wrong. There’s no leaving me out of it. If he’s involved, so am I.
In the same vein, I also don’t talk smack about my husband, period. Some wives will say “well, I can say something bad about him but nobody else can” and I see where they’re coming from. My personal stance though is that I don’t insult my husband in a conversation with anyone. I think that just opens up a door of permission that others will gladly walk through. I do my best to commiserate with a woman scorned, but I’ll be drawing from some past dating experiences because I stop short at husband bashing.
Granted, there are some people who may have a legitimate complaint or criticism about my husband. None of us are perfect and everybody isn’t going to love whom I love, but people know when they’ve crossed the line. And if not, well, I’ll gladly tell them. My husband is White and the amount of White jokes Black people tell is incredible when you’re paying attention. There’s been a few times when I’ve had to get serious on a jokester. No one is going to disrespect my husband and think I’m going to laugh about it. That happens less and less now that we’re married, but my ears are open.
Of course, everyone’s relationship is different. I married one of the nicest people this side of heaven (much nicer than I am at least), so he doesn’t have beef with anyone as far as I know. Now, if I had married a total jerk who has more enemies than friends, I likely knew that when we swapped vows. In that instance, I’d still be out there trying to defend him though. We’re a team and that means I’m taking his side. Every. Single. Time.
That’s not to excuse silly women who stay in abusive relationships because they can’t see past their physical or emotional bruises. In those instances, someone needs to be talking smack about your husband and getting you the heck away from him before the coroner has to come bag your body up. That’s not disrespecting him, that’s being a good friend or family member.
But if all is well in my household and someone brings their beef with him into my earshot, then they’re asking to be corrected. Not that I’d be Googling his name and coming for commenters or searching his mentions for insults, let’s not be ridiculous. Peace is paramount, so I don’t believe in seeking out arguments for any reason. However, when it comes to the love of my life, I’m not backing down either.
What would you do if someone was disrespecting your husband?
Follow me (or insult me) on Twitter @AlissaInPink…but leave my husband out of it.