The Physical Thrill Is Gone: How To Get Over Not Being Attracted To Your Man

August 10th, 2012 - By madamenoire

Are you in a relationship with a great guy, but you’re just not feeling that spark? Are you thinking of ending things because you’re just not that physically attracted to him? And is physical attraction necessary to make a relationship work?

Counselor, therapist and YourTango Expert, Dr. Sheryl Paul says that your relationship is not doomed just because your partner is “not your type.” “The problem,” Paul says, “is that we live in a culture that values physical appearance above every other quality.”

Check out Dr. Paul’s advice for getting over this relationship hump on YourTango.com.

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Kayo

Men are not told to work out relationships with women who they are not attracted to, so why should a woman?
- Kay
  
  If your not attracted to someone isn’t the relationship destined to fail? I mean if he looks like flava flav to you how can you work that out?
  - Kayo
    
    Well, yes, it would be difficult for a relationship to work out if there is not mutual attraction. I am not sure why your comment is directed to me when I was not advocating that someone continue a relationship with someone who they are not attracted to. What I was implying is that – All one has to do is take a look on any male centric site and there will never be an article where men are told to work out a relationship with a woman who he is not attracted to. A man wouldn’t even ever be encouraged to talk to a woman he doesn’t find attractive, but women are, all the time.
    - FStubbs
      
      And my experience as a man is the opposite. Women are told all the time not to “settle” and men are told that anything we are attracted to is “wrong” and thus men are supposed to look beyond attraction.
      
      I think quite honestly, without mutual attraction, the relationship will be missing a key component. That being said, the “spark” or “passion” will die sooner or later. It’s a fact of life. So your relationship better be built on more than chemistry and physical attributes and prowess.
      - Kayo
        
        Yes, women are told not to settle, but many of them end up doing so anyway. The rest of your comment, I am not sure of because I already stated that a relationship without mutual attraction would be difficult to have.
    - Kay
      
      Lol my bad I read your comment wrong I thought you said men are instead of men aren’t.
      - Kayo
        
        Okay.
- http://www.facebook.com/people/Ashley-Sykes/1065177536 Ashley Sykes
  
  TRUE THAT!
- Allyce
  
  So true!!
- FStubbs
  
  Not true. I’m a man and I’m told to consider women I’m not attracted to because I don’t deserve one I am attracted to. I’m also told, as a man, that a woman is free to be herself in a relationship, and I have to be perfect at all times so as not to be a “no good man”.
  - Kayo
    
    Not true, or you don’t agree?
GalaxyEmpress

Depending on the reason why I am not attracted to him, if he’s cool, I’ll be his friend but if he was a jerk, I’ll act like he doesn’t exist.
- FStubbs
  
  GalaxyEmpress: Better to just be cordial and cut him off. The Friend Zone is the worst place a man can be. You’d do him a huge favor.
dexter

This is how I feel about most black women.
- TK
  
  Ouch. Have you met most black women? I don’t think your comment was necessary. You need a hug.
  - GalaxyEmpress
    
    He needs something, like a cure for his bitterness and whackness,
- Kay
  
  I wonder how it feels to go through life that bitter? Here *extends arms* woo woo woo, it’s going to be okay, they’ve got to find a cure for BBMS(Bitter Black Male Syndrome ) sometime.
  - DEXTER
    
    NOT BITTER, BUT REALISTIC.
    - JaneDoe
      
      Then maybe you should have kept that realistic comment to yourself. Your a hateful person and that was totally uncalled for. We love you anyway Dexter and I hope your mom and dad does too
    - Kay
      
      Nope , I’m sure bitter is the correct word
    - lighty
      
      me too Dexter, i find black men so unattractive but being a white woman they approach me a lot but i don’t like them or their big d!cks.
      ugh, and they are so thirsty! just being realistic.

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