Mama’s Boys to Male Feminists: Who A Man Is, Based On The Women He Dates
You know you have a “type.” It may not be obvious. Your last three girlfriends might have been a tattooed biker, a pageant contestant and a hardcore feminist, but their similarities probably ran deeper than skin deep. If you analyzed your last handful of relationships, you would probably find that the dynamics between you and your partners were uncannily similar. You’re looking for something–some sort of personal fulfillment–from the women you have in your life (whether they’re there for a hot second or years). But just what is that mysterious fulfillment? Like any good psychologist would ask: what do you really want?
Dominant Part I
Do you like women who are highly organized, like things their way, and tend to boss you around? This could be because you were the youngest child with an older, or multiple older, sisters. You grew up conditioned to let females get what they want because they had seniority. You also became accustomed to having females be your main source of information and direction. Sure, you were bossed around, but you were never without something to do! You might today feel directionless or lost if your partner doesn’t structure your life and call the shots.
Dominant Part II
Another family dynamic that could lead a man to prefer dominant women is having parents in which the mom wore the pants. As much as we all hate this Freudian, limiting school of thought: your parents make up an overwhelming majority of what your thoughts and feelings about relationships are. You tend to aspire to have a relationship just like theirs, or the opposite to theirs, but either way, their relationship shapes yours. If your mom wore the pants, then there was a certain feminist air in your house and your male role model showed you to be submissive to women. Again, similar to the younger brother syndrome, you’re comfortable around a woman who makes decisions for you. That is familiar for you and the truth is, we tend to go with what is familiar to us. Whether it’s something we actually like is irrelevant.
It’s been shown that over seven percent of people meet the description of Narcissistic Personality Disorder at some time in their life. It’s also been shown that 75 percent of those people are men. Surprised? If you reject any woman that doesn’t meet unrealistically high standards of beauty, it could be that you view women as trophies. That is because you clearly care more what others think about your partner than what you do. Any man can fall in love with a moderately attractive woman with a wonderful personality and intellect if he only cares how she makes him feel and not how she makes the world feel (i.e. jealous).
Do you like girls who don’t like girls? The kind that wears androgynous clothing and make catty comments about any female in a mini skirt and don’t have female friends? The kind of girl that hates pink and vomits a little if you say something sweet to her? This could mean you’re uncomfortable with your natural tendencies as a male. Males, by nature, are more aggressive, more masculine and more visual in their preferences and have less control over physical impulses. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, but many men are and so to prove to themselves they are “better” than other men, they date the anti-female. They date tomboys, some who even remind them of their homeboys. It’s like having a guy friend with all the benefits of a female (the body, the nurturing sensibilities, etc.).
Rhymes With Snitches
Are all your girlfriends mean? Do your friends wonder why you date such emasculating women? Do your girlfriends belittle you, talk down to you and rarely give you affection? You might hate women. Hate is a strong word but we seek what we feel. If you have sour feelings towards women, you might seek women who are mean right back to you. And here is why: if you’re not comfortable being openly, no-bars-held kind to a woman, a Itchbay is perfect because you don’t have to be kind to her. She makes it okay for you to act the way you feel towards women, which is angry. Expect a lot of head-to-head arguments and drama in this scenario…
If you’re only into women who speak English as a third language and hang on to your every word, you could once again have narcissistic tendencies. A foreign woman is automatically at a disadvantage in your country. She doesn’t get the humor. Many people will not understand her because of her accent, leaving her feeling isolated. Simply because she didn’t grow up in your country, she’ll have far fewer friends and family there. All in all, she will depend on you like crazy. And you like that. You need to feel a woman is beneath you, in order to feel of value yourself.
Girl Next Door
Have all your girlfriends been pure and sweet? Cooking and cleaning and washing your draws because you pretend you can’t? Perhaps they don’t speak up much, rarely argue, do whatever you want and are at your beck and call? Essentially, they are caretakers. They’re like a second mommy. You might be selfish! You might lack one of the most crucial components to having a relationship, which is incorporating somebody else’s life into your own. You want a woman who will rub your back after you’ve had a hard day and who will be your cheerleader when you’ve had a good day, but you don’t have space in your head to hear about her day. When you want Italian food, you don’t know how to deal with someone saying they want Indian food. You never learned the basic skill of compromise. So, you seek out women who will submit to your every request.
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