Women Becoming the Breadwinner in Many Homes, Causing Marital Tension

July 23rd, 2012 - By Tonya Garcia

Photo: Lifesize

Women aren’t just in the workplace in greater numbers these days. They’re also the primary breadwinner with greater frequency. According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, 40 percent of American women earn more than their husbands. A report from the Center for American Progress in April found that about 70 percent of women in low-income families (income in the bottom 20 percent) are the main household earners. It’s about half for middle-income families. And one-third for among the top 20 percent.

This may sound like progress (and for women, it is), but it’s putting a strain on some marriages. Despite growing up in the midst of the women’s movement, men can still feel anger or shame at not “bringing home the bacon.”

“I don’t think so much about gender roles, but I do feel angry and helpless because I can’t financially support the family unit,” one stay-at-home dad tells The Wall Street Journal.

However, the stress of this gender role swap is lessened if men make enough money should they need to step up to the breadwinner role.

“Pressure eases up—and perceptions seem to change—when husbands’ salaries are enough to support the family should the wives’ pay evaporate,” the story goes on to say.

So men don’t feel quite so much anger — or perhaps stress — when they know they can step in to help their families financially if it’s necessary to do so. Other men would prefer not to occupy the stay-at-home role at all. All of this is indicative of a culture that’s still in flux when it comes to gender roles. Even as women take more significant roles in terms of household income, the income gap persists, especially among women of color. Attitudes and societal norms haven’t kept up with the realities on the ground.

The economic recession and the need for someone, anyone, in the home to earn money for the family will help move this issue along. In the meantime, women must work with their partners and spouses to make sure that the family is making ends meet without stepping on anyone’s ego.

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  • GM_I

    What a misleading title lol…why not finish the statement like the research stated it MN??? Women are more often breadwinners in lower income households aka “THE POOR” lol…of course those women are the breadwinners when they’re spouses/mates are losers…I bet those women are most likely fat, fugly & homely as well, so of course all they can get in uneducated broke losers…its not a shock that the research shows that the higher the household income, the less this is a problem…thats becuz the women who make more than their man are generally ugly/older br0adz who cant attract men who have the potential or capability of making more than their women, compared to high income earning men who attract and marry young, hotter women who’s jobs aspirations are miniscule compared to the women discussed in the article, mainly becuz attractive women generally dont have to, dont want to work, nor have the desire to achieve such high levels of success when they can get a man who will provide for her (which tends to be much easier and more to their liking)…and as this research suggest, a lot of these breadwinning women would like it just as much if they had the assets necessary to pull one of these higher income males, but alas, they dont, hence they’re is so much tension in these marriage situations lol…its not a coincidence that so many successful women have loser boyfriends who do little to nothing in the quote, unquote male role department.

    • nasia

      I doubt every man above the 20 % has a dime piece on his arm. Logistics are different that’s all. He most likely committed ( marriage ), and one that PROVIDES well enough for his wife to stay at home with their 2-5 children. Gosh where do you all live where all the women are Halle Berry’s and Hedi Klum’s….return to earth. Most men that make money, you see their wives and think O_O. Your every day average family

  • normady

    I think it also comes down to men not being able to get the job they want. Most men will sit at home before they go work at burger box, and women don’t mind. You have to put your pride aside and do what you have to do !

  • Just saying!!

    Actually they say a lot of relationships/marriages today are failing because of this reason–the woman taking over. Can’t say that’s false because the system is set up for men to be the head of everything so we are definitely throwing things off. But at the same timeeeeee, I think a REAL man should be able to handle it and shouldn’t feel his manhood is compromised simply because his wife brings home more bacon. As long as he is independent and can fend for self, he shouldn’t feel threatened. However, I do understand the societal pressures involved, but those pressures are getting pretty big for women now too…as many of us are expected to be perfect at balancing motherhood, family duties, and work.

    • GeekMommaRants

      If men are the head of everything, they would prepare for this leadership by becoming educated and start their own business. Body parts do not determine leadership, preparation does.