How Love Happens When You Least Expect It

July 23, 2012  |  


By Nancy Slotnick

It happens when you least expect it. That’s what they say anyway. But I was always expecting it. And it still happened for me. It didn’t happen how I expected it. I met my husband on the street. When I was single, I had opened a dating Café with the idea in mind that necessity is the mother of invention. I had imagined that the right guy would just walk through the doors one day. But it wasn’t happening. So I set out to look outside my Café and take matters into my own hands. I met my husband within 2 weeks of that.

But my story is not typical, I know. Many people swear by the “least expect it” story. Here’s one example from this week’s post on the Matchmaker Café fan page:

@Britta Alexander: It was for me! I finally gave up on finding the one, moved into a loft in Brooklyn, practiced my violin day and night, and my future husband was listening to me through the walls. Turns out he was the roommate on the other half of the shared loft. So there’s a strategy: just move around and live with complete strangers!

So I tried to analyze the common denominator of these seemingly contradictory philosophies and here’s what I conclude. It depends how you expect it. If you have too much negative attention on it (i.e. why isn’t happening?!? I have such bad luck with dating!! ☹) then it can’t happen. If you feel entitled to meeting someone but are not doing the work on yourself, it can’t happen. If you are so busy working that your Cablight is not on, (like I was) then it can’t happen.

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  • Dave Exback

    Love often comes when you are not in need of it.

  • applesauce585

    My “honeyBoo” died in 2008 🙁 ; I miss having love, being loved and sharing love! I do expect “love again”……one day…..soon hopefully 🙂

  • Rhonda Chambers

    That’s interesting but i’m divorced and i’ve given up on ever being with someone else who is compatible for me. Life goes on.

  • Morning Rain

    I’ve never expected to find love, so I should be meeting and falling in love with people left and right.



  • I was just think ing about the same topic: “How am I going to meet Mr. Right???” when I came across this article…interesting!

  • Arranged- Now Free

    After waiting for my husband to straighten his butt out, I found a really lovable man 3 yrs later. Now, my divorce is finalizing and I’m in love. Tony and I were friends for 5 months and dating for one month before we did ‘it’. We hung out all day and most nights and he’s about the exact opposite of my ex. Okay, so a little more: I was arrange-married, left him, family nearly shunned me-but later accepted that my husband was abusive and that I was worth something more than a submissive slave of a housewife, and found Tony 3 yrs later. After finding Tony, I became more confident in going through and filing for divorce and that part of me that was waiting on my ex is gone now. I’m ready to move on. Yes, Tony is def not my race and about 20 yrs older….but I’m happy, content, and he’s wonderful and respectful, loves to cook, clean, hang out WITH me. No, I don’t think I’m gonna tell my parents any time soon. Prob after I get my own house, a good flow going with work, and anything that I won’t need my parents for. That way, I can prepare to leave them for a long time (in case I need to)- I know they’ll be mad for a while. And I can go to Vegas to get married this time, I already had my dream wedding with a horrible marriage. I’m content with Vegas. 🙂

  • Tsk

    I definitely did not think I would fall for someone right after breaking up with my boyfriend. My friends would purposely bring him up and try to make me cry, which I very easily do, I just couldn’t as I no longer cared. Then this man comes out of nowhere, giving me everything I was asking for in my last relationship. He stimulates me in many ways. 😉

  • B

    I’m a part of the “least expected” crew however I broadened my prospects by meeting new people through working in different states during summer break.