Newly Married Meagan Good Has One Piece Of Advice For Women: Don’t Settle

53 Comments
July 20, 2012 ‐ By

Source: Zimbio.com

Meagan Good is all smiles these days after marrying movie producer and Seventh-day Adventist minister Devon Franklin, and though the actress was clearly smitten before she jumped the broom, she says things have gotten even better since she’s become a Mrs.

“It’s been pretty amazing,” she told Elev8.com about life as a newlywed. “He is absolutely the most incredible thing that’s happened to me. We want the same thing out of life and that’s important.

“We’re both on the front lines for Christ. We’re serious about our walk. We’re not perfect but what we desire and what we aspire to is the same. In having a partner you ultimately have to know and want the same things and have the same type of revelations and we do.”

Meagan talked about those same aspirations before she walked down the aisle as she shared Devon’s desire to remain celibate with her for the year prior to their wedding. The 30-year-old isn’t selfish with the secret to her good loving though, she wants other single women to find the same type of love she has and she says they can by following this one simple rule, not settling. She told Eelv8 that’s the main difference between her past relationships and the one she now has with Devon.

“The difference is God is more evident in my heart. That was always my desire,” she said. “Sometimes…you make what you think are sacrifices because you see there’s potential here, or this person has it in their heart there’s just got to be some growing. Ultimately one thing I would say to all women is don’t settle. It is out there, it does exist and God is so much bigger and greater than what our small minds can think. What we think is impossible is absolutely possible and I’m definitely living proof of that. My marriage is living proof of that.”

Alright Meagan. What do you think about her advice?

Brande Victorian is the news and operations editor for madamenoire.com. Follow her on twitter @Be_Vic.

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  • Joie

    Where are you people getting this notion that she’s giving marital advice? That’s not what she’s saying. She’s simply saying that you should not settle because God has someone just for you if you’re willing to take your time and determine if you’re equally yoked. She found someone with whom she’s equally yoked, that’s how it SHOULD be. Women complain that there are no good men, but they settle for the “no good” type of men all time. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy. When you guard your heart, close your legs, and take your time to get to know someone, it’ll be much easier to separate the real from the fake.

  • Is It 5:00 Yet?

    Props to her and her hubby for waiting till they were married to have sex. There would be less drama in relationships if things were done God’s way – a threefold cord cannot be quickly torn in two.

  • shanaya

    Based on what I read from Meagan’s statement she is advising woman to not settle. She’s not giving out marital advice, so for the all the people that commented about her giving such advice you have misconstrued her statement. She’s encouraging woman to not settle in order to get what they want in a relationship. Her desire was to get married so she didn’t settle and now she is married. This is very simple. She’s not telling everyone to abstain from sex to get married but to not lower your standards to get and keep a man. To me this is very simple advice but to each is own.

  • http://twitter.com/PhoenixRose360 PhoenixRose360

    I think her advice is dead on. Too many of us settle in different areas of our lives, be it job, love, family etc, and for what, to please them? But what about you and what you want? Aren’t you worth it? And if you are, why are you accepting foolishness?

  • Vicky Tae

    While I do like her advice,I feel that everyone is not in her shoes to “not settle”;she has fame, beauty, and fortune. There are many good girls out there, but there are not many guys who we would considered a ”perfect mate”. Sometimes we just have to be realistic about the options out there

  • http://www.facebook.com/aviann.ferdinandcaterson Aviann Ferdinand-Caterson

    I think it is great advice to give….. we shuold never settle. newly weds can give marital advice….

  • Judie

    Yall are hatin’ im very happy for Meagan and her husband Devon ….congrats guys whatever she needs to learn later on im pretty sure she will

  • KJ23

    I think it was good advice. Too many times people will see certain flaws that they’ll think: “Oh, well, it’s not that bad, or maybe (s)he’ll change,” and then when they’re married to them and things go wrong it’s like “Why didn’t I pay attention to the signs?” It’s good not to settle, especially if you’re about to embark on something like marriage.

  • curvycrusader

    I think what she said was sound and basic. I told think she has to wait until she is married 20 years to her this. And its positive,

  • Guest1234

    I think it’s all bad when people get on a high horse talking about their “amazing” relationship to the public. It’s always the first step to being seriously moded when the marriage hits a snag. And all marriages hit a snag. You put too much pressure on it when you go around telling folks how great you have it. Then you have the pressure of always putting on a “perfect” face for the public. Why would you put all that pressure on a new marriage?

    That’s why I like Michelle Obama. She keeps it real about marriage. She’s no fool, and she ain’t going around acting like it’s perfect – and her man made her FLOTUS. That’s what keeps a marriage strong – reality, not dreamy-eyed exaggerating about how “godly” your union is, or whatever.

    • Guest1234

      Seriously. She’s telling folks that she’s living proof of God’s grace? Slow your roll, girl! Only a fool would take on that role. Check the FLOTUS for a reality check to see how it’s done. He’s just a man. Michelle O never loses sight of that. The second-coming of Christ and the manifestation of God’s grace, he is not.

      This is coming from a married woman, btw. I love my hubby, but I wouldn’t put the pressure on him to pretend to the world that we’re God’s example of an ideal marriage. That’s just asking for trouble. Okay. I’m done.

  • Nay

    I think she can give advice–she knows how to out a smile on her mans face–i mean its possible to help someone out on the same issues youre still going thru or new to because shes not going to get anymore perfect–we’re all imperfect so just take from it what u can–i dont think she thinks she’s michelle o but im sure she loves her man just as much!!!

    • Nay

      Think of rehab–and how the participants support each other

  • Claire

    So true love you Meagan. You deserve to be happy. Thank you for sharing and that it is okay to wait and find the right man/woman. With God all things are possible.

  • Ladybug94

    I don’t think she’s giving out marital advice. Sounds like she’s saying you don’t have to sleep with every guy you date in hopes of getting a ring. You can actually get the proposal still by being virtuous and keeping those legs closed.

    • Vivi

      you don’t get a ring by sleeping with every guy you date, that’s exactly how to NOT get one.

      • Mari42

        Tell that to Evelyn Lozada

        • http://www.facebook.com/SassyKoolClassySagittarius Onekool Klassyrn

          she dont have to get one… she got one even with her legs wide open… now what…. have a seat with the silliness… this wasnt about Eve.. but clearly you make her relevant… are you that bitter you cant celebrate love no matter how a person choose to find it….

  • Rhonda Chambers

    No thanks. I think I should be giving her marital advice.

    • Annette

      Clearly, she was talking to single women…

  • DeepThinker

    Either way her advice is applicable to women not seeking marriage, but a respectful relationship without all the drama.

    • Common Cent$

      Thank you I think some people were missing the overall message of what she said.

      • Ladybug94

        Exactly, I never read anywhere where she was giving marital advice.

    • Ladybug94

      Very well said. No need to be a crab in a barrel.

      • Mia

        No need to be an old stick making passive aggressive digs either. Girl we all know you talking about me! LOL, My comment was in all in good fun laughing over newly weds who think they have the answer to finding the perfect mate and relationship perfection (I was the same way and its cute) . I’m actually a huge Meagan Good fan and wish her well.

        • staci b

          everyone’s talking about you, my dear!

  • DeepThinker

    Whether she has only been married 2 seconds or 2 years, she seems to have learned from her past and is on the right track with her marriage. Not many people stress the importance of building a relationship on God’s foundation first, getting married and THEN getting their freak on and having kids. Instead of critcizing we should be uplifting her. I’m so happy for her! Go Meagan!

  • Gimmeabreak78

    Congrats to Ms. Good on her marriage. I’m glad to hear of a sister becoming a wife BEFORE becoming a mother. That said, she been married for all of 29 seconds. She may just want to fall back on doling out the marital advice until she and her husband have held their marriage together for about 15 years. I’m no expert, because I’ve never been married, but I’m pretty sure in a marriage you will have to “settle” for some things, even though the dressed up term people like to call it is “compromise”. You might have to “settle” for the fact that the man you married with a full head of hair and six-pack abs has slowly morphed into a bald man with a gut after a few years, for example. IJS…

  • CA Pullen

    That is so true. She is just in the honeymoon stage. The REAL work come in after the honeymoon is over with. As the other respondants spoke, she can’t give advice at the newlywed stage. We will find out as time pass if she still have that same response. Like Mia say 5 years.

  • KIR12

    Translation : If you’re under 30, no kids, drop dead gorgeous w/ a banging body and making six figures…. Don’t settle. lmao

    Black women your best options are when you’re in your twenties. Don’t listen to the nonsense. There are no successful fun, good looking men looking to marry 40+ year old overweight women with kids (baby mammas). That is fantasyland. Take a god look a Megans six figure husband. No baby mammas, overweight nor older women need apply. Yes, harsh…but truthful. For baby mammas over 30 and all women over 35 the word settling changes to the word compromise. Most end up with half the man they could have had in they’re twenties or no man at all. Pick your husband while you’re in your prime.

    • GirlSixx

      And this is the UGLY TRUTH…
      It is what it is…..
      When Men get older they are considered distinguished looking — we don’t get painted with the same brush stroke, no matter how much we fight and try to turn back the hand of time (gym/facials/dieting/botox/surgery, etc. whatever) – after a certain age, we are considered “Past Our Prime” and men and society tend to look at us as such.
      *shrug*

      • DeepThinker

        It depends on what these distinguished looking men want. Not all of them are shallow and focussed exclusively on what she looks like, and the girls that go for these types usually don’t really like that guy, but they want his house. LOL Why else would they pucker up to Jimmy Early and that old creepy arogant Alec Baldwin. Ewwww.

        • Gimmeabreak78

          Lol @ Jimmy Early. I had to think about that one for a second.

          • Miss Anonymous

            Lmbao yall know I had to google who Jimmy was.

        • Negress

          I just saw a Dream Girls performance last night.

    • DeepThinker

      Ugh… all these 20-something year old bombshells you are describing are not staying married. The divorce rate in the US is 60+%. Most of the young girls getting married are not picking the best man they are picking the best provider, they are so preoccupied with the exterior, and when they find out who these men really are they are not willing to compromise because they are young and believe they still have time to find a better man.
      There are plenty of over 30 year old women with kids finding love and marriage with decent & respectful, men & just because a man is financially successful does not necessarily make him a good catch either. Don’t believe the hype!

      • KIR12

        The exception proves the rule. For every black baby mama over 30 that finds a husband I can point out a 100 maybe 300 that want and can’t find a husband. Also men and society do not consider divorced women baby mammas. They are Ex wives our widows and are given more respect/consideration.

    • http://www.facebook.com/dominique.bourque.77 Dominique Bourque

      “Pick your husband while you’re in your prime.”

      This is the best advice that never gets heard until years later, after the prime is gone. I’m a 44 year old post single father of 1 son, who is now 20 years of age and is serving in the U.S. Army. I was married for 5 years till my wife felt being single was better than being with a responsible husband because her tomorrows were not promised. She wasted her prime trying to re-do her past, and to this day even at 46 years of age, she is trying to re-do “lost” time.

      Why is that, well too many women waste their peak years (19-26) doing things which did not benefit them in the long run. These same women wasted their other useful years (27-32, & 33-37) doing nothing more than a repeat of how they wasted their 20’s. Yes, a change here or there may look good and may “feel” good, but changing the direction of a ship a few degrees left or right is still going to run it aground and or into that iceberg no matter what you may have thought.

      Your college degrees, your career titles, your organization affiliations, nor what church you attend keeps you immuned from the fate.

      Sex for “sport”, dating guys with no future nor direction and having babies by them all in the name of control, looking for a man to take care of a highly functional you, inventing victimization, etc, etc. You name the blame game, many of you have played the blame game. Now after you’ve realize that you are no longer 28, and the next generation or the generation after next has now pushed you out of the scene, or it’s time to take life serious and the fun is now over, you all come looking for guys like myself. Or even worse, you are now calling yourselves “Cougars” and passing the p***y out to younger men, which in your mind is much different than when you was passing the p***y out when you was in your 20’s and 30’s?

      Facebook has made this world a smaller place. The days of “I wonder whatever happened to ________?”(fill in the blank) are not quite like they were years ago, you click in that person’s name direction could land you a chance of a reconnection. (It works both ways). I have come into contact via Facebook with members of Class of 1986, duty station Ft. ________ (fill in the blank), etc, etc. And do to my newfound empty nest and modest income earning occupation, I have had the chance to date women with nothing more than a high school diploma to those who possesed Ph.Ds. One was even an aviator for a major airline ( I had to D.T.B. due to her mental issues, enjoyed the crazy sex, though), and one who is now a Major General in the U.S. Army.
      But, even with their education and status, the one thing that kept me from getting on my knee and asking for their hand in marriage was that they did not work on their “inner” them. They were 37 going on 18, mad and confused for all the wrong reasons, looking for payback to that guy(s) who broke their heart in college or in their 20’s.

      To the young ladies out here……..Your prime years are what will set you up for the future. Just like the mind, it’s a terrible thing to waste. Life does not offer you do-overs, once it’s gone….It’s gone.

  • Mia

    Its cute when people who’ve been married a week start doling out that marital advice. Check back with you in 5 years Megs! LOL

    • realadulttalk

      So true! You can’t give advice while still in the honeymoon stages!!

    • Chloe

      Hahaaa.
      Yup!!!!!
      And I can attest to this because when I first got married, I was the poster child for marital bliss telling everybody they needed to hop on board. *lol*

      • rgj

        well someone’s a little salty, let her have her shine honey what she’s saying isn’t a lie

        • HeyYall

          I get what she is trying to say. You don’t have to settle to find love. and if you ignore her past and present, and just listen to what she is saying its is totally true! However I get annoyed with all the ‘this is what you need to do if you want a man to marry you” advice. Anybody can get married..anybody! Its good quality long lasting mariages that are rare.

    • CutFromADifferentCloth

      She isn’t really giving marital advice per se… She’s basically giving advice on to get where she is at. She didn’t settle for false hope; as what a lot of women do. She made it up in her mind what she wanted and didn’t settle, hence she is now married.

  • TRUTH IS

    Coming from a woman who messed with Soulja Boy…smh…..I guess thats why a lot of black women aren’t married. We do not settle, I would hope!!

    • Common Cent$

      So she can’t give advice because of who she use to date I’m sorry I don’t get that. No matter who what she has done in her past relationships she made a decision to do things differently and follow her faith and now she has met her husband. Not sure why we should tear her down for that.

      • Gimmeabreak78

        No, she can’t give advice because she’s been married for 29 seconds. She should check back with us in a decade or two when/if she’s still happily married to the same man.

        • Miss Anonymous

          I agree with you. At this church I attended the first lady was trying to give my mom tips on being married. My mom has been married to my dad for 26 years, the first lady on the other had is in her 3rd marriage of 19 years.

          • Ladybug94

            A person whose been divorced can offer advice. They can tell you what not to do if you want to stay married..ijs

            • Miss Anonymous

              Yes they can but it would be weird if i had a baby and im giving you tips on child rearing whereas you have kids in middle school. ijs I kinda would think that so far my mom knows what she is doing since they are still together.

        • Ladybug94

          Her advice was more on dating not marital. Not sure where everyone is missing the point.

          • Gimmeabreak78

            “The 30-year-old isn’t selfish with the secret to her good loving though, she wants other single women to find the same type of love she has and she says they can by following this one simple rule, not settling”
            The above is a direct quote from the article. Unless my reading comprehension skills are off she is saying that we (single women) can find the type of love she has (a marital relationship) by not settling. Why does this not qualify as marital advice? More power to her, but I don’t think getting married is the problem for most people–it’s staying married. As such, I’d prefer to heed the advice of a person in a long, stable, happy marriage, not the gushiing of a newlywed person.

      • jay

        I absolutely agree! That’s the problem now, people act like there’s no room for improvement .. as if people can not change. She may have dated whomever, but does that change that fact that she feels that in order to be happier and find a great man that single ladies shouldn’t settle. What’s wrong with that? Why would you want to settle? I feel that that is great advice! I don’t care how long she’s been married, it still makes sense. The majority of these women that have responded sound miserable.