People Telling You to Eat And 5 Other Skinny Girl Problems

July 20th, 2012 - By madamenoire

Source: frugivoremag.com

By Jessica Dufresne

It seems everything in this world is dedicated to helping women lose weight, love their curves, camouflage their curves, etc. Countless shows and articles cater to weight loss and the physical and emotional struggles that go with it. What I never see, however, is the opposite: help for the skinny woman. Believe it or not, slim women share similar issues, and it would be nice to have the kind of support system bigger women enjoy.

Yes, I know there is an obesity problem in this country and sure, it’s unfair that the media bombards us with images of stick-thin amazons all the time—but that waif-as-a-standard-of-beauty ideal is not the norm in Black and Hispanic communities. On the contrary, the thicker you are, the better—so as a slim woman in those circles, you’re regarded as an oddity.

Please understand: I’m not panning for sympathy so much as making it known that being thin while black ain’t easy. (But I wouldn’t mind a reality show or magazine fashion feature dedicated to gaining weight and camouflaging curveless figures, either.)

So just what are skinny girl problems, anyway?

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30thoughts

I agree with the gist of the article. I always got rude comments as a stickly little girl, but my big cousin told me not to pay them any mind because when I got older, they would be dying to be thin like me! She ain’t never lied! I have never counted a calorie in my life. That’s the only one I disagree with, and one of the greatest benefits of being thin!
DayDream

Thank You Soooo Much For This Post! I am always telling people how difficult it is to be a Black woman just under 100 lbs. All my life I’ve been made fun of. In addition to having a hard time finding clothing, I also have a hard time finding shoes for my ultra slim foot. I don’t take the rejection from men as a horrible thing because everyone has there preference. Just like I prefer not to date a fat man. *Shrugs* I’ve been making it a point to simply embrace who I am and to focus on being healthy instead of being a certain size. Hang in there slim girls…we got this~
- notthinnotfatlady
  
  Great attitude DayDream!
- Shawty
  
  I agree! #under100lbclubmember. ha ha. Great comment. Finally its good to hear from people who are the same size as you. I swear, everytime I see another skinny girl, I have to stop and talk to her cuz I feel as if we are a minority. lol. And will hang in their fo sho!
cathkyth

finally someone understands !!!!
Jeredine

Oh my goodness, finally someone else understands my struggle cause i swear its was just me. My ex use to tell me i need to eat more so i can be healthy. I’ll get so pissed every time he would make a comment remotely offensive about my weight. Like screw you, if i’m not it for you then go on to the next one. A ex friend once told me to go eat a cheeseburger i told her to skip a couple cheeseburger and a whole week worth of meal, and that its will do her some good. Guess what? she got the point and we’re no longer friends. A lady at work once told me “omg you’re so skinny u need to eat, u need to eat planty more, my goodness you are skinny” she said that at least 5x’s and i could not talk back to her cause i love my job…but i later went to the bathroom and cried and made a complaint…now we don’t even see each other cause i had plans for her. But ppl can be mean esp when you’re a black woman. It’s the way i’m and i can’t do anything abut it. It takes me a day to lose 5lbs if i’m sick (sickle cell) but a whole year to gain 10-15lbs. SMH!!!
Danielle

Now watch all the fat women bash skinny women saying, “You don’t have problems. I’d give up sex to be skinny.” Yes, I’ve heard that. As a skinny girl the one thing I wish for would be a nice curvy butt. That’s all it just would look so nice…in everything! But, with all that being said I love being a size 3. I do not feel guilty about my natural size! Skinny girls let the fat girls hate. Oh well.
ThisChick

I’m in college and a tiny girl too. All my life my weight has been commented on “Oh your so skinny” as if I hadnt noticed. My mom is skinny too so she helped me get through it by saying to ignore it or hit them back where it hurts because most of the time it aint other little people talking about me. A big girl in middle school once asked me was I anorexic and I was like dude seriously! All the time I get asked do I eat, its like I’m like pretty sure if I didnt I would be dead. One night of my freshman year a friend and me where hanging out with these guys and one was like “Why are you so skinny?! Like seriously nobody your age and in college should be that little”. I asked him nicely to chill because I dont like people talking about my weight and he just kept going, the way I lost my mind and started going in on him about his weight. He got quiet then. And sadly, its not even just people my age who bother me. I had a boyfriend in high school who dad didnt like me since day one and I could not figure out why and come it find out he said it was becasue I was to skinny -___-. But I have had people tell me its a compliment that I am skinny and I will appreciate it when I get older or how they used to be skinny and wish they still were. People can be so rude with comments and its like I can’t help the way I am. Im skinny because its just my body. It frustrates me because I dont want to look like a little girl my whole life! Doesn’t help that I’m only 5″2′. Bigger people are so quick to talk about skinny people but want to get all in they feeling if you mention their weight.
MysticAmor

Thank you so much! Everything in this article I have experience and more. One day this girl called me skinny and I told her not to because it was offense. Then her reply was no being called fat is offense, being called skinny is a compliment. In my head I was like Wtf? are u serious? But I just nicely asked her again not to call me skinny and walked away. There have been plenty of time when I go out to eat with friends or have dinner at their house and my food serving is enough for a man and they look at me like “Are you really going to eat that?” then when I have completely cleared my plate their reaction is “OMG I can’t believe you ate all of that!” I’m so tired of being judged by my size. I can go on and on about things I have experienced that’s on this and that’s not even listed. Thanks again
KIR12

I’ve noticed the fat black woman and the black baby mamma are two groups of black women that are good with the psychological brainwashing of black women who are not fat and don’t have kids. I wonder why? It’s the same nonsense that goes on with the smart black kids or black kids who speak correct English. Black folks have the most backwards logic sometimes. smh
Dom

As an underweight kid, I knew I was going to be a tiny woman. It’s taken me a while to really learn to love my body and not “miss” the things I wasn’t given. I recently joined a gym to tone up and even though I’m still small, I see more muscle definition and curves where I want them.
I HIGHLY reccomend working out even to women who are already thin.
Luckily, I learned to sew when I was young and figured out how to make things fit my small frame. Still savs me a ton of $ and boosted my confidence in my formative years.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1819840020 Danette Holiday

i like that someone finally said it. I’m been skinny my entire life and hate it. Even after having four children. It’s hard for me to gain weight even though i eat like a race horse. In 2000 I joined the army. I went though the whole process but had to return home because I didn’t weigh enough. I had to gain weight just to for to be shipped out to basic training. I would definitely and gladly try any kind of reality program to help me gain weight. It’s hard. cause I eat way more than a normal woman my size. It’s frustrating. People telling me to eat more make me want to slap the crap out of them, cause i eat. I’m eating right now!!!!
realadulttalk

I don’t know why people don’t understand how rude this is. I put on some weight a few years ago and my gf said to me “I’m glad you gained some weight-you looked emaciated before” So emaciated is a size 5??? Really? B/c I was offended I shot back…”I was emaciated b/c you are overweight?” My friends are all bigger than me…I think they all need to change their lifestyles…instead they are always trying to feed me. I eat…A LOT…but only during daylight hours…they eat A LOT…anytime of the day. But if us small girls aren’t talking about how big your behind is…why are you commenting on how small we are?? And another thing…STOP PICKING ME UP!!! I am a grown woman…not a small child.
Trisha_B

When i was younger, i was a chubby kid. My dad would always get on me about my weight (his jamaican humor lol). But then i hit 13 & lost all the weight. I got real skinny, down to a size 0. my dad started to complain that i was too skinny & tried to hint that i had an eating disorder lol. I love to eat, me & food are bff’s. I just couldn’t put on weight. All throughout high school, i remained between a size 0-3. I would sometimes envy the girls who were a little thicker in the hip, thigh region. Well i get to college, i guess i wasn’t done w/ my growth spurt b/c in my sophomore yr in college, my hips came thru & i started to put on weight. Now i’m at a size 5 & i’m comfortable there. it’s so much easier to find a size 5 jeans compared to a size 0-3. I don’t think a size 5 is that small, but i hear remarks from the thicker/bigger girls telling me i’m too small, putting extra food on my plate, squeezing me in the back seat of the car, or talking about my legs being too skinny smh. it use to bother me before, but now i’m like w.e. lol
Anon

PREACH!!!!!! Omg finally somebody else on this planet that understands my struggle. *cries tears of joy* People are downright rude to me for being so small as if I can help it. Sometimes I just genuinely forget to eat, due to a busy schedule or partying or whatever and I’ll lose like 2 pounds and be so upset about it. Guys are mean at times and I SWEAR on my life bigger women make an effort to constantly bump me if they see me out, no matter how much room there is. Its a constant strugdle. One thing not mentioned in the article is food service. I’ll go to Chipotle or something and people look at me and think thing can serve me a childs size portion. NO boo boo, I’m an adult. I do eat, so put as much rice and beans in there as you would anybody else.
Kay

I used to get teased and I was so self conscious about my body. As a grown woman I love my shape and all those thicky thick girls from high school are not so attractive now and are sloppy fat! People don’t realize that just BC your slim doesn’t mean you have issues. Especially when your told on a regular how disgusting you look and that you’re not supposed to look like that. Im 24 and I wear a size 1. I can only imagine how good I’m going to look when I’m 40 wearing a size 7! Thank goodness I was born a skinny girl!
Ms_Sunshine9898

I’m not even sorry but this article gets the side eye. . .
- icgirl82
  
  Spoken like someone who does not have to deal with this issue.
  - ThisChick
    
    Right! But let somebody say something about her weight or her being fat (even if your not) or something and watch her be mad…smh
    - Ms_Sunshine9898
      
      If I’m fat, I’m fat. If I’m skinny, I’m skinny. Big deal. If don’t like an article without specifying why and suddenly I’m the big girl loving patrol. Reading your comment is ignorance at it’s finest. . .
      - ThisChick
        
        HA! So you mad?! Clearly you just confirmed my point.
        
        Ms_Sunshine9898
        
        Oh so I’m mad because I said the article should relate to all women instead skinny women singlely trumping issues faced by all women as as their own issue experienced by them alone. Who’s really mad? You because I say all women have problems with the same issues you do? Girl bye. Reading is fundamental and clearly your comprehension skills are lacking. . .
        
        NiceNasty
        
        I’m not going to lie, but that was a long a$$ paragraph…LOL!!! But on a serious note I understand what cha saying so don’t feel bad.
      - ThisChick
        
        Your missing the point of this article! Other people have told you now I’m going to tell you. Maybe you will get it after the 100th time. Nowhere in this article did she say “this only applies to skinny women.” Everybody already know BIG women stuggle with their weight. Yall talk about it sooooooo much. We know what yall go through but the point of this article is to show that as skinny women we have issues too some of the same as you just the opposite side of it. In the black community its okay to be thick but it is frowned on to be skinny and yall know people are evil and rude and have no problem hurting other people. So we just suppost to take it? No boo! Society will tell you its not good to be fat but society says alot of crap sometimes contridicting itself what we saying is as skinny women we get so much negativity verbally and people dont even feel bad about it. Clearly if you make fun of a fat person everybody thinks its wrong, I even think its wrong but if you talk about me you can expect to get it back. We get talked about by family, friends, boyfriends and even just random people who feel its okay or used to make themselves feel better or just cuz they think its funny but its not. The reason everbody kinda tripped on you is cuz for once our story was presented and you acted like it wasnt as issue. Like it was a problem that we feel this way. You dont know what we go thru and clearly you not even trying to hear our side. If your point was to say all women go thru this, that all you had to say but saying side eye at this article made you look like the ignorant one. Ignorance is the lack of knowledge. Our point of view is being presented and you chosen to act like what we talking about aint even import is very ignorant cuz u ignoring whats right in front of you. We get so much crap from big girls that comment was assumed to be just another dig at us whether it meant it to be or not. Welp hope you got it now! : )
        
        Ms_Sunshine9898
        
        I never said it wasn’t an issue. I said the attitude is that skinny women act as is they are the only ones effected. I argued for all women regardless of size. I never said these aren’t issues you don’t experience, I said you aren’t alone and neither are big women because all women experience these issues one way or another. I’m not a big girl nor am I a skinny girl. I’m right there in the middle so I see both sides of the issue. It’s you who are angry because you have issues with people judging you for being skinny. Why are you mad that all women experience what you experience with your body and tell you that you can’t single out these experiences for skinny girls only just as big girls can’t single out weight issues as their own? You are so concerned with pointing out that skinny girls have problems and accusing me and other women not as skinny as you on hating on you, throwing in your faces that we have curves that you missed that not only I agreed that you have these problems, but that every body typed woman has them as well. My issue with this article and the comments here are that the women here suggest that ONLY SKINNY GIRLS HAVE THESE PROBLEMS, AND OTHER WOMEN CAN’T RELATE BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT AS SKINNY, not that you don’t have these problems. Again there is a desperate need in this article to point out that skinny girls have problems as if the same problems experienced aren’t experienced by every other woman on this earth! Sure you will experience ignorance based on your size, but guess what? So does everyone else! Do you honestly think that non skinny people believe you’re supposed to be the exception because society tells us you must be skinny to be happy and in the same breath says real women have curves? If you get cracked on for being too skinny just as big women get cracked on for being too big, do you honestly think people don’t realize that skinny women may have self esteem issues about their weight, or know and have friends and family who struggle to gain and maintain weight? We know that this happens because guess what? It happens to EVERYONE regardless of size, no one is excluded from theses issues. You and all the other skinny girls need to get through your thick ignorant skulls that rude comments, jokes about weight, issues with gaining, losing, and maintaining weight, finding you size in clothing stores, all those problems are experienced by ALL women regardless of size, not just you alone. That’s what you fail to realize.
  - Ms_Sunshine9898
    
    So because i didn’t like the article I’m hating on skinny girls right? I don’t have my own personal body issues huh? Spoken like someone who has jumped to conclusions without any real knowledge or information. . .
- Lori
  
  Read the comments above and be open to a point of view your obviously unaware of. I didn’t break 100 pounds until I was about 23-24 and have experienced everything in te article and more. I can remember sharing skinny stories with another girl and a coworker walking up to us telling us “woes me skinny girls complaining about their bodies, lets switch places”. If switching places means having someone ask if you were going to throw up your food after eating and going to the bathroom, be my guest. People are VERY open to “skinny comments/jokes” because being thin is viewed as ideal in society. Your used to saying something like “I wish I could gain weight” and getting major in your words, “side eyes”. It’s unfortunate that you have to “accept” having almost daily “Do you eat, I haven’t been your size since I was in 5th grade, you have a pretty face but I like girls with more meat on their bones, what are you working out for, do you shop in the kids section and the ultimate I would never want to be that small” comments because larger people are viewed as the ones you have to be sensitive of not thinner. I’m not sure of many people that would feel too good about themselves with regular comments like that during those all important youth/adolescent years. Last I checked thin people can suffer from low self esteem too, but I’m guessing that would get a side eye too. At 30 I FINALLY am at a comfortable petite, curvy weight and am about the same size as girls with the cute shapes in high school, that ironically have put on weight and now give me another type of side eye. Weight is a never ending struggle for women of ALL sizes, its just a bit taboo for skinny women because its never seen as a real valid concern. Theres my side eye to that.
  - Ms_Sunshine9898
    
    So because I said I wasn’t feeling the article which constantly repeated itself I need a lesson in respecting people’s struggle with being “too skinny”? Thanks, but no thanks. I thought the article was bad because it repeated itself over and over. Save that conversation for someone who needs it. . .
    - Alexis
      
      The point of the article…in my opinion was to say this isn’t something easy to deal with when society views it as a blessing. We can see an overweight woman- shes in the gym, she has a diet soda, etc. We KNOW she is in a struggle, she is expected to be. Because society tells us it’s unhealthy to be overweight, it’s unattractive to be overweight. At the same time, society also tells us being on a smaller scale is the ideal picture of happiness, wellness and beauty. You can’t “look” at us and see our struggle because society has conditioned you to believe that we are what you should aspire to be, therefore we MUST be happy. THAT is the point of THIS article, to shed some light on the other side of the fence. So if we were to read an article on the “woes” of an overweight woman, there would be no surprise.
      - Ms_Sunshine9898
        
        You still missed my point. These are issues all women face regardless of size. Despite the ignorance of some, not all people are ignorant of the “plights” of skinny women. As I said before, why is there a need for an article to validate that skinny women have issues too, especially when the major concerns are the same that all women face? The fact you call the issues that all women suffer a skinny woman “struggle” again is insulting as if skinny women need a trump card to pull that they have problems just like overweight and regular weight women and down plays the fact that all women have these issues. I’m not saying that you don’t experience these issues but this article said nothing of being happy rather than it’s need to note and complain that skinny women have issues too. I believe the article would have been better notating the ignorance of people on assumptions and beliefs based on one’s weight from skinny to overweight rather than attempting to make this a situation experienced by one group alone, especially since these are issues all women experience! We don’t need light on the other side of the fence if all women experience the same thing on different levels as it should be understood from that statement alone if all women experience the same issues then clearly skinny women are included in that struggle. Society grooms us to believe that you need to be thin to be successful and happy. The same society has also told us real women have curves. Essentially, the your argument and that of on this blog argues that these are challenges uniquely to ultra thin women. The world is clearly not as ignorant of your “struggle” as you would readily believe. . .
        
        MissTeacher1908
        
        We obviously do need light on the issue since their are many people ignorant to the issues thinner women face. Big women are THROWN in our face left and right and pushed down our throat and people make comments to us that they wouldn’t make to larger women in an effort to be sensitive. If you can’t relate, fine, whatever but why comment so vehemently on something you know nothing about. Thanks for the perfect example of some of the ignorance we deal with on a daily basis.
        
        MissTeacher1908
        
        *there
        
        Ms_Sunshine9898
        
        I didn’t deny any of what you said. I said this article should be about all women, not a skinny women have issues too article. You are so quick to point out that that skinny women have problems just like big women you missed the main point of my argument, these issue effect all women regardless of size. Why do skinny women need to scream out that they have issues too when women of all size have issues. This should have been about issues all women face, not just skinny women.
quest

I have been thin my whole life and I’m 39 yrs old and look like a kid. I wear a 4. I mean a grown woman wearing a 4. I eat all the time. I gained weight from the Depo shot and got to a size 8 and liked that size but I took myself off that shot and know I’m back down to my 4….I have a skinny sister who is really a bone. She has no hips or butt at least I got that.
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_JAI4SRENU2A5WKRTELXXYJPDSI Kayla

that one used to really bug me…. I used to be constantly asked Do I eat? I was asked once if I was anorexic? Growing up in the black community I was always jealous of the girls in my class who has round curves, and I was left with nothing. I used to try and eat weight gain powder. But nothing happened. To make it worse my maiden name was “Small”. Yes HAHA I get it I’m skinny my name is small..
Papillon

Years ago my mom and I were at a friend’s house for a get-together and there weren’t enough chairs. “Friend” says in front of everyone mom and I could share the last folding chair since we were both so skinny. Funny…NOT! We have gotten comments like that all our lives. My mom is funny though, one time one of her larger friends said she was going to start calling mom “Li’l Bit.” Mom shot back, “Can I call you ‘Big Bit’?” Ha! Friend got the point.

I was around 95 lbs until my late 20s, and now I’m at a weight I’m comfortable with but I still can remember a lot of those skinny girl problems. Clothes shopping isn’t as bad but it can still be hard sometimes because clothes are cut so much bigger these days, I guess because women on average are much bigger.

And I detest the saying “real women have curves,” which is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. All a “real” woman needs is to be born with a vagina.
- http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1819840020 Danette Holiday
  
  I was 95 lbs in my 20″s too. Now I weigh a whooping 107 lbs. I need help. You right about that real woman mess. Makes me mad.
- patrice
  
  I’ve always hated that saying also…its just as harmful as the ads that promote unrealistic beauty
- http://twitter.com/ThisIsMissRae Tionda Rae
  
  It should be “real women don’t have silicone butt shots” lol
- Steph
  
  Haha I hate that too!! It sounds like skinny people are manly cuz they don’t have more fat..dumbest thing ever
Belle011

Thank you. I have all of these problems clothes I like just don’t fit. I hope I become Shapley as I get older. But my mom and granny are small (mom bigger than and granny about the same) that it might not happen. If I could tell you all the stories I have…
nick

thought i was the only one..le sigh. (currently stuffing my face in attempts to gain 10 pounds)
- realadulttalk
  
  You’ll only lose it again…that’s how we do! I can only hold onto weight for about a year tops. Lol

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