Giving The Eye to the Science Guy: Why Every Woman Should Consider Dating a Nerd

51 Comments
July 18, 2012 ‐ By Charing Ball

Source: unfollowingjesus.com

 

You would be surprised at how many of my friends have a crush on Neil deGrasse Tyson. Yeah I’m talking about the astrophysicist science guy, who is most known for reclassifying Pluto as just a stupid floating rock. Yeah, the black guy.

Now I know some are thinking, Neil deGrasse Tyson? For real? What is it, his cherub-like face? Perhaps it’s his circa 1990 “Fresh Prince of Bel-Air” haircut? Maybe it’s his trademark intergalactic vest he is known to rock? How could any woman with vision find anything remotely crush-worthy in Neil deGrasse Tyson? Well, let’s start with the fact that in addition to his take down of linear thinking within the spiritually devout science community in The Perimeter of Ignorance, Tyson still refuses to call himself an atheist, instead claiming that the only ‘-ism’ he holds above all is science; And how he was cool enough to coin the term Manhattanhenge (which ironically was done six days ago), which describes the two days when the sun aligns perfectly with the cross streets within the Manhattan street grid. Oh and let’s not forget being boss enough to reclassify the so-called ninth planet in the solar system.

Totally hot.

As Andrea Plaid, writer for Racialicious wrote earlier this year, Tyson is definitely crush worthy because he “… Doesn’t let bulls**t fly–and gets a bit impatient when it happens–because he’s just that no-nonsense? Oh yeah. Doesn’t create false dichotomies between science and art? Doesn’t, won’t, and refuses.”

Ladies, admit it: Neil deGrasse Tyson, particularly his knowledge of all these stars, the moon and quasars, makes him a pretty awesome dude. And while he can’t compete on the swagtastic, eye-candy level as say a Lance Gross or Idris Elba, he can definitely get “it.”  Yeah throwing the cookies at a science nerd because he can actually calculate Newton’s law of gravity may seem a little extreme. But for many of us weary lady folks, who have gone through more than our share of the dudes who feel like that having a nice suit and car, a 401k plan and curly hair like Al B. Sure (whether it be real or with assistance from some sort of texturizer) is all that it takes to impress us, we know that the nerd dude is it.

I remember the first nerd I fell in love with. I had just turned 31 and had recently sworn off of men. By the time I was 30 I had been through a number of failed “relationships” including ones with drug dealers and car thieves, pretty boy womanizers, ones with several baby mommas, brainless sports and Xbox loving Neanderthals, dudes with a lots of cash but no heart, straight up bums, ones who were a momma’s basement away from being homeless and born-agains, and folks who were anything but Godly – basically any combination of the archetype of black manhood you could think of.  Point is, I was done with men.

Anyway, I was at this folksy community harvest festival, probably looking sad and pitiful, when I was approached by this short pudgy dude with a Swatch watch and unidentifiable shoes. He was totally the opposite of what I was normally attracted too. I had it already in my mind that if this dude started talking to me, I was going to make an excuse and run away. But he said something funny. I can’t remember exactly what it was, but it made me smile. And since my smile was a dead giveaway that I was at the least amused, I had no choice but to engage in conversation. Well, we ended up talking for hours, laughing and joking at the event.

More from Styleblazer

More from Mommynoire

MadameNoire Video

Comment Disclaimer: Comments that contain profane or derogatory language, video links or exceed 200 words will require approval by a moderator before appearing in the comment section. XOXO-MN
  • Bella

    I usually date nerds because I prefer men who can hold a conversation and it doesn’t hurt when they’re cute. However, some nerds are just as capable of being a**holes as the bad boys are.

  • Live_in_LDN

    Richard Ayode is my pin up.

  • jason vorhees

    Damn you big bang theory! Ever since this show came out it has gotten crazy. I tell women that i’m a pc gamer, been in IT for over 10 years, read theoretical physics for fun, watch anime all of a sudden I get attn. 6-7 years ago you couldnt pay a sista to give me the time of day.

  • Nope

    A woman’s shelf life in terms of desirability is much, much shorter than a man’s. I think that’s really the frustration with a lot of women. It’s not like when a lot of women were the It Girl they were just sitting at home on Friday and Saturday nights staring at the wall. No, they were out and about being the It Girl. But when their very brief shelf life comes up, THAT’S when they become interested in the “good guys”, which were usually the nerds once upon a time. If a man happened to NOT go for the nerdy girl, he still has a lot more time and prime on his hands to do so down the road than a woman does.

  • Jen

    I have dated nerds my entire life because I am one. But, over the past few years I have come across a few Mike Jones Diva Dude Back Then They Didn’t Want Me types, which has made me kinda sad. NERDS: don’t assume every pretty girl you meet was the evil heifer who mocked your idiosyncratic behavior back in high school. Nerdy girls clean up darn well…eventually. And even if they are…if you are going to date that type, you need to get over your childhood hurts.

  • FromUR2UB

    The trait that makes someone a nerd is their almost one-tracked focus on the thing they do. That’s how they become the geniuses/innovators/experts in their fields. Music is the perfect example of that. The people who became part of those super-talented bands we used to love, were often band nerds in their youth. All they did was practice their craft, every spare moment they got. Not much fun. But later, when their awe-inspiring talent got them noticed, it only took an image makeover and jet-setting life to make them shine and seem cool to everyone else.

  • Neuronerd

    I think a lot of nerd/geek interests are an additional trait what turn some women off. What I never understood was the double standard in hobbies. For example you state how you immediately thought how he has something in common with your nephews when he mentioned loving Batman. Funny, but that probably wasn’t the most positive thought. Is this same attitude there when a man says he loves cars? Sports? Fishing? Hunting? Can recite every athlete and his stats?

    There are tons of little kids who share that passion and I know those men get just as giddy and excited as a 10 year old who loves yet a condescending thought, not that yours was condescending, comes across the woman’s mind for that. There’s still this stigma, I find more among my black peoples, that when men should only like certain things, masculine things. Liking anything but is just another nail in your coffin. You’ll be ok with your boys, but you can hang it up with a lot of women. Never understood it. A hobby is a hobby and a selfish obsession in anything will take the interest away from you, the woman.

  • KamJos

    You know I hear a lot of talk about how Black women should give nerds a chance yadda yada. (BTW as a female nerd, the men weren’t checking for me either yet no one tells men this.) Perhaps we should think about the way we treat nerdy people in general. I mean we have a extremely popular genre of music that glorifies non-nerds, why don’t we glorify the nerds instead?

    • Neuronerd

      I agree, however I don’t know where you got that people don’t tell men that because I hear men telling other men similar opinions all. the time. It’s not a bad thing don’t get me wrong, but we aren’t all sitting around telling the nerd/geek male he should keep going after the girl everyone else wants. Personally I like nerdy/geek women because of the conversations and we would likely share some interests or at least understand each others passions, but so far they have liked the more playa playa type of dudes. Actually told my moms I was done and was gonna focus on my science and research like my hero up there Dr. Tyson or Jonas Salk. She just laughed and said you’re still a man and you’ll find the someone that’s into biology and video games just as much as you hahaha.

      Seriously though, the older I have gotten which isn’t very much at all (24) the more nerds are glorified. You just have to stop looking at entertainment to do it.

      • KamJos

        That’s interesting, though I can’t say that I know of other Black male focused blogs or even male focused media that says get the nerd girl, and it’s not something we see in popular culture. Entertainment won’t do it of course at least not on their own. I think nerds have risen in popularity but not in the Black community. Black nerds still have a ways to go. As far as what girls like, if a girl is going for playa guys it’s not because he’s a playa it’s probably because he knows how to charm. At least in my circle of friends, if any one of us brought a playa into the circle he’d be ripped apart. I wouldn’t give up, just maybe tweak your tactics a bit.

        • Neuronerd

          Oh Yea, I am not one of those brothas or bitter nerds that thinks just because a guy has charm he is some kind of player. People respond to varying levels of charm. I mean me and my friends know these dudes, they have a reputation, they don’t try to hide this reputation, but the ladies I have known are in love with the attitude and so they ignore or justify it. I don’t like talking about folk I don’t know personally though I always felt that a man can smell another man’s B.S. and a woman another woman’s.

          Honestly I get entertainment from these blogs, but wouldn’t worry about them not spreading an idea. I mean even if a blog has a high number of traffic that may still be only what? 0.007% of the population? And of the audience have you noticed that they are all liked minded people? Birds of together flock together even on the internet. Anyway good for you and your friends, that’s how things should be. As for me I say 85% of me honestly doesn’t care anymore. I’m more concerned with scientific papers and what new developers are setting up studios or directing a new game project for a new big company

    • Nope

      I get tired of the references to hip hop and rap that alludes to their negative impact on society. Is it life imitating art, or art imitating life, I don’t know but I do know there are numerous options within that culture, not to mention in music in general. Same thing with TV, unless someone only has 3 channels…..

  • PA-TX

    I went to THE nerdiest of nerdy colleges, where more people gathered to watch robotics competitions than sporting events. Ha, you gotta find a well-adjusted geek… one that is not hung up on past rejection (bitter or with a chip on his shoulder) and is comfortable in his own skin. Seems like the nerds who went to nerdy schools (maybe I’m biased) or work in a nerdy environment (Facebook/Microsoft/Google) come into their own socially much sooner. That nerdy guy in high school who went to Big State University and slipped further into oblivion, and then took that job as the one IT guy  in the office with the cubicle in the coat closet… not so much.

    I witnessed the straight up nerds transform from their skinny (or overweight), awkward, no-game-having selves to diesel, charming, successful blah blah regular, but kinda spectacular dudes. Even the ones who stayed “nerdy” are cool now. Give nerds a chance! 

  • sammi_lu

    Yep..if he ain’t nerdy I ain’t checkin’ for him!! =)

  • Morning Rain

    Let us go to a male centric site and see if they are telling men to consider dating women who they are not attracted to.

    • FStubbs

      Men are always being told to do that. “Looks aren’t important”. “See the beauty in every woman.”

      • Kayo

        Maybe so, but men are still more likely to reject a woman for not meeting his physical standards. Men are taught to expect the best-of-the-best when it comes to women despite their own shortcomings.

  • Mia

    I’d date a corny nerd like Nick Cannon type. But I couldn’t a straight up nerd, most of those guys are weirdos who wear long black matrix coats and carry duffel bags filled with god knows what.

    • Cball

      LOL What? Where do live? Columbine?

  • dasht77

    I have a nerd. Met him at work. He works with me in the IT department. He is very nerdy. Glasses and poor taste in clothes but I love him. He is sweet, kind, honest and sincere. And oh yes this is the best part. This type of man has no baby mamas and will always keep a job!

  • Papillon

    I’ve dated a nerds in the past but I don’t think I will again. I’m a bit nerdy myself so two nerds together–that’s just too much nerdiness in one relationship.

    • sabrina

      LOL!!! that’s so funny! who do you wanna date then?

      • Papillon

        I dunno, a poet maybe? A painter? Someone who’s artistic and a deep thinker.

        But it’s more of a challenge finding a guy who wants a nerd. MN needs an article for us nerdy girls.

  • It is what it is

    Truth. . .Let me have a nerd who is a good man and treats me right. . Some and I say SOME of yall can continue to chase those bums aka “bad boys”. . .

  • soso

    AMEN!!!! This is why your one of my fav writers on here Charing mwah!!!!

  • lalatarea

    Intelligence can sometimes make a man look better but not this guy, I’m sorry.

  • lalatarea

    Intelligence can sometimes make a man look better but not this guy, I’m sorry.

  • lalatarea

    Intelligence can sometimes make a man look better but not this guy, I’m sorry.

    • sabrina

      LMAO!!! omggg y’all are killing me on here!! i’m saying though!!!

  • FattyFatKimye

    I love me some “nerds” and have been loving them since middle school, never was into jocks and the bad boys. I had my share of couple of bad boys but I love nerds better and they better in bed than the bad boyd.

  • FattyFatKimye

    I love me some “nerds” and have been loving them since middle school, never was into jocks and the bad boys. I had my share of couple of bad boys but I love nerds better and they better in bed than the bad boyd.

  • FattyFatKimye

    I love me some “nerds” and have been loving them since middle school, never was into jocks and the bad boys. I had my share of couple of bad boys but I love nerds better and they better in bed than the bad boyd.

  • FattyFatKimye

    I love me some “nerds” and have been loving them since middle school, never was into jocks and the bad boys. I had my share of couple of bad boys but I love nerds better and they better in bed than the bad boyd.

  • Nope

    A lot of the “good men” were the same nerds a lot of women wanted nothing to do with when this women were in their prime years. But who do they think the CEO, CFO, COO, etc. were once upon a time. Yeah, probably a nerd.

    • UKBob

      Bro I understand what you are saying but just get over it and when you become successful treat those women the way they deserve to get treated. If they are good girls that have always been that way then wife them and don’t disrepect them. If they were sloppy and chasing after bad boys when younger then hit and quit or leave well alone. And trust me, there is nothing more pathetic than a 40 year old chick who made poor life decisions in her 20s and early 30s when she was smoking hot. But you can’t base your life’s happiness on the failings of others even if they didn’t treat you right before.

    • UKBob

      Bro I understand what you are saying but just get over it and when you become successful treat those women the way they deserve to get treated. If they are good girls that have always been that way then wife them and don’t disrepect them. If they were sloppy and chasing after bad boys when younger then hit and quit or leave well alone. And trust me, there is nothing more pathetic than a 40 year old chick who made poor life decisions in her 20s and early 30s when she was smoking hot. But you can’t base your life’s happiness on the failings of others even if they didn’t treat you right before.

      • Itiswhatitsis

        OMG. . .Im gonna start passing the collection plate. . .

        • sabrina

          LOL!!

    • UKBob

      Bro I understand what you are saying but just get over it and when you become successful treat those women the way they deserve to get treated. If they are good girls that have always been that way then wife them and don’t disrepect them. If they were sloppy and chasing after bad boys when younger then hit and quit or leave well alone. And trust me, there is nothing more pathetic than a 40 year old chick who made poor life decisions in her 20s and early 30s when she was smoking hot. But you can’t base your life’s happiness on the failings of others even if they didn’t treat you right before.

    • UKBob

      Bro I understand what you are saying but just get over it and when you become successful treat those women the way they deserve to get treated. If they are good girls that have always been that way then wife them and don’t disrepect them. If they were sloppy and chasing after bad boys when younger then hit and quit or leave well alone. And trust me, there is nothing more pathetic than a 40 year old chick who made poor life decisions in her 20s and early 30s when she was smoking hot. But you can’t base your life’s happiness on the failings of others even if they didn’t treat you right before.

    • Cball

      Well that all depends: Bill Gates probably was that nerd in high school; whereas Mitt Romney. co-founder of Bain Capital, actually bullied nerds in high school. Just wanted to make the point that not every captain of industry is a nerd or even a “good guy.” Some are just jerks.

      • Nope

        Of course. There’s never an all of anything.

    • Miss Anonymous

      Well Im not so sure about that one. I was a nerd growing up and i always was all glossy eyed over the nerds but the nerds wanted the popular girls who were with the popular guys. Im with a nerd now and he admits that he didnt want a nerdy girl and how he dated plenty of the popular girls and the like but it didnt work out.

    • FromUR2UB

      When are you guys going to realize that you did the same thing you’re so angry with women for doing? Apparently, you wanted the girls whom everyone wanted. That’s just the way it is with someone who is desired by many; you end up taking a number and standing in line. If some of you “good men” were attracted to the “good women”, you wouldn’t have that bitterness today. People don’t always make good choices in their youth. That’s what life is about, and it’s not fair to hold it against someone for not knowing any better when they were young. Anyone who doesn’t want you is not meant for you. Once you accept that simple fact, you can move on without any hard feelings.

      • Nope

        IMO, it’s usually the women that are bitter later in life about what/who they could have had. Guys don’t tend to whine about being lonely. Also, guys generally want whatever is available (back to the ‘hunters’ mentality that women like to use…. well, that’s just efficient hunting). Women tend to SEEK OUT the popular guy basically because it brings more of the attention and envy that most women crave.

        • FromUR2UB

          Oh, c’mon. Later in life, guys want and take whatever is available. But even so, that’s not very efficient; it’s just lazy. Roadkill is available. So, how efficient would the hunter be if that’s what he brought home? But if it were true all along, that men take what they get, we wouldn’t hear the male whine about having been rejected by popular girls when they were young. Apparently, some 16 year old girls not wanting them is so crushing to some men, that they never get over it. Men are often so confused about what they want, that many of them don’t know how to appreciate the women who do like them, even when she’s one of the desirable ones. Even nerdy guys would act like the jocks and popular guys, if circumstances changed and brought them the same kind of attention those guys get. I’ve seen that happen more than once.

    • FromUR2UB

      When are you guys going to realize that you did the same thing you’re so angry with women for doing? Apparently, you wanted the girls whom everyone wanted. That’s just the way it is with someone who is desired by many; you end up taking a number and standing in line. If some of you “good men” were attracted to the “good women”, you wouldn’t have that bitterness today. People don’t always make good choices in their youth. That’s what life is about, and it’s not fair to hold it against someone for not knowing any better when they were young. Anyone who doesn’t want you is not meant for you. Once you accept that simple fact, you can move on without any hard feelings.

    • FromUR2UB

      When are you guys going to realize that you did the same thing you’re so angry with women for doing? Apparently, you wanted the girls whom everyone wanted. That’s just the way it is with someone who is desired by many; you end up taking a number and standing in line. If some of you “good men” were attracted to the “good women”, you wouldn’t have that bitterness today. People don’t always make good choices in their youth. That’s what life is about, and it’s not fair to hold it against someone for not knowing any better when they were young. Anyone who doesn’t want you is not meant for you. Once you accept that simple fact, you can move on without any hard feelings.

    • FromUR2UB

      BTW, don’t know if it’s true, but I’d once heard that Bill Gates neglected his personal hygiene when he was young. For the nerds who go in public smelling bad, or have green teeth and hair that always looks dirty: CLEAN YOURSELF UP!! No one wants to be with someone who looks and smells like their own petri dish project. It’s not even reasonable to expect someone to tolerate that!

  • Smacks_hoes

    In highschool I liked the jock sporty type guys then as soon as I got to college football players hit on me like crazy but I turned them down because nerdy guys are my type now:

  • http://twitter.com/VictoriaGrooves Victoria grooves

    Since I have been watching big bang theory I have been wanting to dat a nerd, theyre hard to find tho