Should Parents Broadcast The Punishment of Their Children?

July 16th, 2012 - By Charing Ball

Over the weekend, I watched a video of a father dishing out some “tough love” to his son via a YouTube video.

In the video, the father, who is behind the camera in the almost 3 minute video, can be heard ribbing on his son’s style of dress, particularly his skinny jeans, which for reasons only they know, is all the rage now with the youngins nowadays. Standing with his arms stretched out in front of him in his smedium jeans, which barely covered his behind, the son is commanded by his father to perform all sorts of maneuvers including squats and back bends -none of which he could do successfully because of the tightness of his jeans.

As soon as I finished laughing my A$$ off – quite literally – at the father mockingly chiding his son about his inability to walk fast, I began to feel a certain level of uneasiness. Both embarrassment and a ting of awkwardness for me and for this nameless child. I mean, questionable fashion taste aside, did his crime of wearing extra tight jeans really warrant the humiliation from voyeuristic eyes over the internet?

Over the last few years, I have watched similar versions of castigation play out on the internet. A couple of years ago, there was the video of the dad sarcastically teasing his son about his self-inflicted jacked up haircut.  A few months back, a video of a father shooting his daughter’s laptop for inappropriate comments on Facebook went viral with over 33 millions views.  The videos are amusing and I’m sure definitely arouses a spirit of camaraderie from frustrated parents of wayward children across the globe. However as parents explore other creative alternatives to grandma’s switch and time-outs; are they dishing out punishments which teeter on the line of cruel and unusual?

Consider these examples: One mother, clearly disturbed about her underage daughter posting pictures of herself drinking on Facebook, made her upload a picture of her crying and holding a sign, via Instagram, saying “Since I want to post photos of me holding liquor, I am obviously not ready for social media and will be taking a hiatus until I learn what I should and should not post!” One father, fed up with his 15 year old daughter’s “mean girl” ways, decided that the appropriate discipline would be to make her hold a sign on the intersection “I have a bad attitude. I disrespect people who try to help me.” And a mother, who was at the end of her rope with her thieving son, made him hold a sign admitting to his crime after nothing else seemed to work. As told to the local news station, the mother said that, “I don’t care about the comments. It’s not about everybody else; it’s about him learning that stealing (is) not right, at all.”

Good lesson, questionable approach.

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  • Demi

    The child with the sign was not drinking, she posted a picture on Instagram holding a bottle of unopened alcohol and she was disciplined. Her mother did what she felt was right. I rather embarrass my child now then have them embarrass me later on in life.

  • AyYoMarie

    Plain and simple, the ish is FUNNY. lol. I get a kick out of it and I think its a passive agressive way of disciplining your children. Times are changing and as long as the punishment isn’t physically harming the child, I say why not? You kill two birds with one stone: teach your kids a lesson and give America a laugh while you do it.

  • Lady M

    Well, I look at it like
    this…the judicial and penal systems will make their indiscretions
    public and wont give two shits whether or not its “politically correct”
    or if it will “scar” them for life or “follow them to their grave.” As
    we all are aware,in most cases it WILL scar them for life and follow
    them to the grave inasmuch as to apply for employment, etc. Id rather
    me do it to them in childhood than to have THE MAN do it to them in
    adulthood (or younger) and have the SYSTEM embarrass me or question my
    parenting skills. That’s the problem nowadays – no accountability.
    Choices have consequences. Better to learn young.

  • DoinMe

    think the lighthearted videos are ok (like the fool in the skinny jeans and the girl drinking liquor), but some of the punishments are too much and shouldn’t be online. Getting beat or when a child is clearly in distress is crossing the line.

  • Mrsadkiah

    While I find all of it hilarious (especially the dad who shot up his daughters lap top…I DIED lol) I don’t think it’s right. You are not supposed to broadcast what’s going on in your house and embarrassing your children on a social net work is doing so, and it’s very immature. I personally believe that this is less about actually teaching the child a lesson and more about the parents getting satisfaction out of embarrassing their children, which I think is sick. It’s just like parents who take spanking too far, instead of lashes sufficient enough to get the point across, parents continue to strike out of anger. The dad could have still shot up his daughters lap top (I do not blame him for that) but there was no reason to tape it then post it on her facebook page for her friends to see.

    In my own experience I can say that I know MOST kids who go through stuff like this just find someway to do whatever it is they were punished for with out getting caught. These situations teach them nothing but they don’t want to be embarrassed, not that what they did was wrong. When kids get to a certain age these sort of tactics don’t work any more. It also makes the feel as though they can’t come to their parents for anything. I know Black folks think their children should fear them but, again in my own experince, this is not the way to go.

  • Mrsadkiah

    While I find all of it hilarious (especially the dad who shot up his daughters lap top…I DIED lol) I don’t think it’s right. You are not supposed to broadcast what’s going on in your house and embarrassing your children on a social net work is doing so, and it’s very immature. I personally believe that this is less about actually teaching the child a lesson and more about the parents getting satisfaction out of embarrassing their children, which I think is sick. It’s just like parents who take spanking too far, instead of lashes sufficient enough to get the point across, parents continue to strike out of anger. The dad could have still shot up his daughters lap top (I do not blame him for that) but there was no reason to tape it then post it on her facebook page for her friends to see.

    In my own experience I can say that I know MOST kids who go through stuff like this just find someway to do whatever it is they were punished for with out getting caught. These situations teach them nothing but they don’t want to be embarrassed, not that what they did was wrong. When kids get to a certain age these sort of tactics don’t work any more. It also makes the feel as though they can’t come to their parents for anything. I know Black folks think their children should fear them but, again in my own experience, this is not the way to go.

  • Slim Goody

    I saw a video last year (mentioned in article I believe), of the man who gave his young (5 yr old?) son a messed up haircut, spanking him and then made him run a thousand laps it seemed around the apt courtyard, due to him misbehaving (the son lived with the Grandmother; why not the father?). It was disturbing to say the least, because it was obvious with just the haircut, the boy was distraught and learned his lesson. The video was like 5 mins long and the boy just cried and cried. I bet if the Father himself spent more TIME with his son, or he LIVED with the boy, the boy wouldn’t get into trouble. He was probably acting out due to not being showed attention from his parents, etc…Some parents need to think about the ROOT of the problem before publicly posting a YouTube video disciplining their child harshly, especially with a belt. As for the children holding the signs…I think thats a great form of punishment.

  • 30thoughts

    Embarrassing them with signs is better than beatings, and I guarantee it has a lasting effect. Glad to see Black parents using alternative methods of discipline. I’m all for it!!

  • gmarie

    I wouldn’t broadcast spanking, but I definitely have no issues with those parents who make their kids hold up signs that embarrass them like the pic above. They had no issue with shaming and embarrassing their parents and family with their actions, now they know how it feels. Embarrassment is not eternal, they will get over it.I’m just happy these parents are being proactive at all.