Is The Recession Pushing Gender Roles Out the Window?

July 18th, 2012 - By C. Cleveland

Even in a down economy, unemployed men can’t catch a break with the ladies. A recent survey found that 75 percent of the 925 single women polled would have a problem dating someone without a job. Only four percent of respondents said they would not hesitate to date an unemployed man. A generation ago, these answers would go unquestioned. But in 2012 women need to give their answers more thought. No one should have a moocher for a partner, but women can no longer rule out supporting their significant other.

The days of the man as the primary breadwinner are done. A lagging economy has made it harder for everyone to get a job. And men will be especially affected in the coming years. Women surpassed men on the payroll for the first time in 2010. And for the first time in American history, there are a million more female college graduates than male. As recently as 2000 it was the opposite. American women are receiving more college diplomas than men, and are more likely to pursue an advanced degree. It is inevitable that there will be more women than men in the workplace for a long time to come.

The roles men play in the society are changing dramatically. A few years ago, stay-at-home dads were a novelty. According to the most recent Census, the number of stay-at-home fathers in the United States has more than doubled in the past 10 years — up to 154,000.

The feminist movement taught women that they could have it all. A high-powered career, supportive spouse and 2.5 kids were a birthright to us all. Now, women are beginning to realize that having it all isn’t possible.

Men never had it all to begin with. They were able to pursue careers because women were expected to devote the bulk of their time to maintaining the home. The juggling act of work-life balance is now something both genders must master.

A consequence of women making gains in the professional world is that everyone’s view of gender roles needs to be adjusted. Men need to find new ways to contribute to the household and feel needed outside of “bringing home the bacon.” Women can no longer pigeonhole men into the role of provider.

While uncomfortable, shifting away from traditional gender roles is for the best. Supporting a man may go against long-held ideals of chivalry, but you may be doing yourself more harm than help holding out for a mate whose career is just as high-powered as yours. Life is full of trade offs. If you want to devote most of your energy to your career, other areas of your life will suffer. If you don’t want a nanny raising your children, you will need a spouse with more time to devote to home life.

Traditional gender roles brought simplicity to relationships. Modern times demand that a partnership rely on a balance of responsibilities, not outdated roles based on sex. Relationships just got a little more complicated, and we’re all going to have to take a more nuanced view to make them work.

Cortney Cleveland is a freelance writer and content strategist in New York City. You can follow her on Twitter @CleveInTheCity and visit her personal column The Red Read.

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  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Sunny-James-Toppo/100002686921354 Sunny James Toppo

    The problem with our society that has long persisted, is that male purpose in life has always been tied to females…ie FAMILY..

    the reason men are lost is that, truly so, they are NOT NEEDED in families. this FACT MUST be accepted and only then can we redefine manliness… we MUST define a purpose for men that is INDEPENDENT of women..

    most FEMINISTS are stupid in that they don’t see beyond Misogyny .. they don’t UNDERSTAND or want to UNDERSTAND that there is a reason behind MISOGYNY, that it IS caused by something else and that MEN are NOT born with it…

    MEN have always needed women for family, and herein lies the seeds.. since they need women for FAMILY and hence for purpose, they NEEDED to control women to have a stable purpose.. if women could get up and leave with the child, they would lose their role,and hence we had institutionalized misogyny as marriage, religion etc..

    in order to find true independent MALE purpose and truly end MISOGYNY, we need to set right it’s origin..

    women have a sexual purpose in life independent of men—their womb gives them that purpose while men need to find women to get theirs..

    what MEN and society at large needs to do, is to find an HONORABLE, RESPECTABLE PURPOSE that is INDEPENDENT of women… only then will men be free and only then can we have a better definition of MANLINESS…and finally end all misogyny..

  • Ms.V

    After I get a a college degree. I would able to start a business or Working in a PR firm in my area. if I have the chance to get marry I would be the breadwinner in the relationship. since I was kid, My mom was always the breadwinner and the head of the house hold because she makes more than my dad. that shows that staying home father could take care of the kids. I make the babies ,you stay home with them. I want to be able to support my future family.

  • cmnsence29

    I dont have a problem with the switching of gender roles, I am a 29 year old mother of two small children under 5. I work full time, attend grad school and make allot more than my husband who is working part time and a full time student as well. With the economy the way it is, I was able to get a better paying job. He has more time during the day so it was his idea that he take on more domestic responsibilities such as the cooking, cleaning and transporting the kids to and from daycare. I was a little apprehensive at first but when I get home to a clean house, and see that my children are fed and content, dinner is ready for me and all I have to do is just relax after a hard days work, it makes it all worth while. I still look at him as a strong black man and It takes a strong man to accept that he cant be the bread winner right now and find other ways to compensate. He keeps telling me that one day I wont have to work but i dont even worry about that because I am able to focus on my career thanks to him

  • cmnsence29

    I dont have a problem with the switching of gender roles, I am a 29 year old mother of two small children under 5. I work full time, attend grad school and make allot more than my husband who is working part time and a full time student as well. With the economy the way it is, I was able to get a better paying job. He has more time during the day so it was his idea that he take on more domestic responsibilities such as the cooking, cleaning and transporting the kids to and from daycare. I was a little apprehensive at first but when I get home to a clean house, and see that my children are fed and content, dinner is ready for me and all I have to do is just relax after a hard days work, it makes it all worth while. I still look at him as a strong black man and It takes a strong man to accept that he cant be the bread winner right now and find other ways to compensate. He keeps telling me that one day I wont have to work but i dont even worry about that because I am able to focus on my career thanks to him

    • Abby

      We need to hear more of these types of outcomes, because we as a society may see a switch in roles but we can still have a family unit. There is no such thing as a “superwoman/man.” We need to work as a team to keep our households (and eachother) functional.

  • Nope

    Damn economy. Now a lot of women can’t straddle their fence of Independence and Traditionalism as comfortably anymore.

  • jason vorhees

    This topic is going to raise a firestorm on MN today!

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_JAI4SRENU2A5WKRTELXXYJPDSI Kayla

    Couldn’t agree more. Parents need to teach their daughters as well as their sons to cook and clean in order to properly take care of themselves and a household. It’s really scary to think about woman who still are stuck in this mode of thinking.

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