How to Tell If Your Guy Is Intimidated By Your Success (And What To Do About It)

July 27, 2012  |  

Let’s face it: Men have their pride and women have their drive. It’s just our own manmade law of nature (sort of like the, ‘Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus’ type analogy). When the two meet at the crossroads of life (say, after college, at the beginning of your career or in-transition professionally), it can become a clash of the titans, where relationship roles are put to the test.

Whether you have a better salary than your mate or are helping him break into the job market to no avail, eventually the differences in income and growth, mixed in with a little bit of pride, becomes an issue that must be discussed to keep the relationship thriving. Not saying that you must stroke your man’s ego or take a pay-cut for his own contentment, but it might be something you need to discuss.

Could your man’s pride get in the way of being a future power couple? Here are a few signs to tell whether your man is intimated by your success (OR signs that he is intimated by his own possible success!)

He Constantly Looks For Validation From You

For some men, they need that validation or assurance from you to let them know that they’re “the man” of the relationship. It is somewhat typical of certain guys to need validation in their relationship, whether they are the main breadwinner of the family or the protector of the house. In a good comparison, their need for validation is like our innate need to be nurturers sometimes: it’s a trait that is associated with being a woman, a future wife and mother. If you find that your guy, who might be in between jobs or making less than you financially, is looking for his “say” in the relationship at every angle, from throwing a fit about going out because he cannot pay to needing an ego boost every day, he might be insecure with your success.

 

His Attitude Changes (For The Worst) When You Mention Your Job or Finances

You might’ve just had the best day at work: the project you’ve been working on for weeks has been approved and now, you are spearheading a major company strategy. You just received a great evaluation from your boss and you might even be expecting a promotion soon. Days like this, you want to tell it to the world, but when you mention it to your mate, he begins to either shy away from the conversation or doesn’t feel the same amount of excitement that you do. Although it is not directly happening to him, he should still feel some happiness for you, especially if he is thinking about building a future with you (where finances will eventually come into play). If his mood gets sour, he might be envious or threatened by your achievements, especially if he has no success stories of his own at the moment.

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