My Brother’s My Keeper: 6 Things I Learned About Love And Men From Watching My Brothers

July 9, 2012 ‐ By Sheena Bryant

I am the youngest of a large rambunctious family and I have three older brothers.  I think it’s a wonderful thing to grow up in a house where brothers are present.  My brothers are significantly older than me and watching their maturation, or lack thereof at times, taught me so much about life in general and a boatload about “boys.” My brothers, especially the two youngest, were the handsome, life-of-the-party jocks of their crews.  They were extremely popular with the ladies.  As I witnessed a barrage of young women flock to and from our home as my brothers got older, I learned some really simple—yet important—lessons.  These lessons didn’t reveal profound truths, but they provided nuggets of wisdom that I continue to remind myself of today.  You know, sometimes it is so easy to forget that which you’ve already learned, but my interactions with men are always much simpler when I remember the things that I learned while watching my brothers. I offer these same lessons to you, not as new information, but as necessary reminders.

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  • NailACollegeDropOut

    “Most heterosexual men I know want to have work that fulfills him, a
    woman that excites him, a home where he can have peace, a stomach that
    is consistently full, and a penis that is consistently empty. ” gold!

  • va

    On#6: so that why my husband and I have been together for 14yrs. ;)lol

  • Jessiree

    My brothers help develop my thick skin. They played rough. They gave me an appreciation and general understanding of sports, and things boys ( now men) love. They love me but they were (are) very much like what we used to see I’m tv. Overprotective, sports orientated, cool, smart. They showed me that it was perfectly acceptable to be me. That I shouldn’t be apologetic for my bossy, confident nature. They nurtured my maternal instincts. They let me take care of them in small ways. Our relationships have grown. I’m thankful that they’be shown me what type of men exist through themselves and their friends. I avoided fools because of them. I love my big brothers. Obviously, lol.

  • Well I was blessed with five (5) brothers and I can really relate to this article…..

  • Ruby

    Should’ve said, ‘too bad not all women get it to that extent.’ My mistake

  • Ruby

    Extremely well-put, beautifully articulated, and very true. Too bad not all women don’t get it to that extent though. Awesome article :).

  • amansview

    The author has learned well. All are good points.

  • Miss D

    #1 is the truth. I dated a man who was exceptionally bright, kind, charismatic, and seemingly an all around good guy. And my mama loved him. In our relationship, he was controlling, manipulative and cold. I thought if I stayed around and tried to be more patient, he’d change. Silly ol me, lol.

  • Same old story, different text!

  • CaliGirlED

    Great reminders! I shared a couple of them on fb.

  • wepo1

    Black women, you cannot learn anything about men until you destroy the black woman’s idea of “black women do no wrong”!

  • Candacey Doris

    Completely TRUE. One of my brothers dated tons of skanks that wined and dined him and i everything. He married the one girl that challenge him and has self respect. Love my sis in law. The other is still getting wined and dined. They are a good example for me.

    • Hawaiian Breeze

      If your brother dated a lot of skanks, wouldn’t that make him a skank too?

      • Thank You

        lmao say that!

      • Candacey Doris

        No, skanks do it for free. Considering the fact that they were buying him a lot of stuff, i think that made him a ho.

  • blackizbeautiful

    too bad it seems to be accepted that men are just men and don’t need to change anything but women must change everything about themselves and hope just hope a black man will want them. Do men need to improve anything, stop doing anything or step up in anyway in order to be a good partner? I guess not.

    • Candacey Doris

      That’s not what this is saying. The author even said that you can’t change yourself to make a man want you. And that a man will step up if you challenge him to o it by not accepting his actions. A goo man, one that’s worth being with you will o what is needed to get an keep you. If he won’t then he’s not for you. It’s a two way street though,you can’t want him to be Iris Elba if you’re acting like Dashiki from Don’t Be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood.


    Alllll of this is sooo vrey true! Esp the one that good guys arent alwayas good men. As women we get caught up in jobs and status but none of that makes A GOOD MAN.

  • GirlSixx

    I would have to agree with all of these especially NUMBER 1….because that is how alot of women get caught up dealing with “A Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing” yeah he may be a good guy in general BUT a douchebag when it comes to his dealings with women because it’s not something you would see right off the bat which is why it’s very important to listen to what a man says and how he says it because usually they will tell you who they are and what they are looking for. I am also a firm believer in watching to make sure his ACTIONS align with HIS WORDS, him saying and what he’s actually doing SHOULD ALIGN, this is another mistake women have made in dealing with a man because his words didn’t align with his actions –(ex: a man tells you he isn’t looking for a relationship right now, but yet he sleeps with you and spends QT time with you plus other things so you get caught up, thinking you two are an item based solely off his actions and end up broken hearted when he TELLS YOU AGAIN what he stated from jump).

  • Mrs. A

    Perfect… This pretty much sums up a mans behavior/mentality in relation to dating/smashing women.

    • Hawaiian Breeze

      Whenever I hear or see someone refer to sex as ‘smashing’, it reminds me of how a lot of Black women/girls and Black men/boys think of sex as just a recreational activity, like basketball or something.