Are You Marriage Material? 8 Signs You May Not Make a Good Wife

June 30th, 2012 - By Brooke Dean

stephanl03.blogspot.com

1. You’re Selfish

Marriage is not only a commitment, it’s a haven where the essence of love is in self-giving. This is not to suggest that you should lose yourself in your spouse, which can also be detrimental to a marriage. It simply means that if you’re only thinking about yourself, your spouse becomes an object – not a partner – and mutual love cannot grow. If you want him to cater to you constantly without reciprocating, you’re not good when it comes to compromise, and you don’t want to share him with family or friends, chances are your selfishness will eventually alienate and suffocate him. Most selfish people use their partner’s love against them and hold their partners accountable for their own happiness. If you don’t remember that you give up the “I’s” for a “we”, you’ll be putting an unrealistic expectation on your future husband to hold down the marriage on his own.

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  • http://www.facebook.com/yani.robertson Yani Robertson

    girl, that was damn near PROFOUND.

  • Dan

    This list is a good one, but it’s too black and white. Life is full of grey areas. The problem with these magazine lists is that they put a couple into a standard category. Sort of a “fit into box”. If you don’t have these flaws, then your a good wife or husband. I have seen cases where the couple has none of these flaws and they are still in a miserable marriage. I have also seen couples who have all these flaws yet maintain a happy marriage. My advice to a man or woman is to communicate extensively and not pay attention to these lists. Remember that these lists are made to sell a product or products. Marriages need work to be stable and fulfilling. I’m here to refute the list as it does delve deep enough to be effective advice

  • snapoutofit

    How sad is it that the black woman blames the black man for her woes and the black man blames the black woman for his and the black people blame the white system. What happened to just doing for yourself and making the right decisions in the first place. Like not getting married or having kids. Focus on positive things in your life like working and helping others

  • White Woman

    WOW! If this isn’t one of the most racist commentations I have read in a while I don’t know what is. If you think that having children only to get more welfare is attractive, you might have a thinking problem. Some people like being married, some do not. It is not a law stating that you must be married to have children ..but the term ” My baby Daddy” didn’t exsist 30 years ago. I think at some point all people think of marriage. Black, right, male , female, gay , straight, Catholic, Christian, Hindu, Jewish, Islamic etc..All I know is I waited until I was married before I decided to have children. I knew I did NOT want to be a single Mom. I also used contraceptives until I was ready to have children. I choose my destiny, my life, my husband. I took control of my life. I know lots of woman that do not want children. They are not broken, nor does that mean they hate men. Bringing a child into this world is a subject that requires 2 consenting adults ( for the most part). Men are the ones who typically want to marry. Why?
    Last thoughts: If you had to a pass a drug test to get welfare would you get it AND
    if you lost your welfare if you got pregnat with another child while on welfare..how many kids would you have? It is not the white mans system.It is a government run program. If you are married you do not qualify for welfare. REGARDLESS of color.

  • Celexiey

    @wepo1:disqus When did you date all Black Women just as there are good black men there are great black women, that have morals love God, theirselves, their man and their children….let’s not forget about all the drama the black man gets running with or to their white women, can you say O.J. Simpson she was a very busy woman getting it on with all his buddies…look at Kim K. who hasn’t been with here…it’s never the race of one but their integerity….you have some of all kinds in all colors and nationalities….sometimes it’s best to think before you open your mouth.
    the men behind bars that are there because of their own greed and selfishness are you also blaming the black woman for that as well?
    Now, what about the couple that we’re bring up their children together, but the man died of an untimely death are you saying that she is unable to raise her boys….well sir know it all once again you’re proven wrong not only has it been done….but the boys have gone on to be respectable model citizens to society and in the professional world or sports as well….surprise!
    what you fall to miss is that you can’t speak on what you don’t know….God never gives one more than they can bear …..Did you see waiting to exhale….fiction but also true no one can ever make one do what they desire not to …I see you still have alot to learn.

  • jwilson44

    Did you interview my SIL to write this?

  • GeekMommaRants

    The truth is the truth, if you wish never to be divorced, guess what you should not do? Those preaching marriage should stop, drop and research the divorce statistics. This maybe a huge waste of time and money.

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