Is He on the DL? My Boyfriend Likes to Look at Naked Men and Play with My Sex Toys

June 26, 2012  |  


Dear Gay Best Friend,

I just read an article and you answered a question if you wanted to know if your male mate was gay. I liked how you answered the lady with the famous athlete question. I would like to know if you can answer mines.

Ok, my son’s father makes me think he has some tendencies of being gay or bi- curious. I was wondering if he is just lost in his sexuality of knowing what he wants. He has dated many women in his life and always maintains or keeps one. But, he cheats with many women and that’s why I’m not with him now.

But, the reason for me thinking of him being gay is because he likes looking at naked men private parts, but tries to be funny about it. He loves for a woman to play around his anal area during sexual intercourse. He wanted to take my dildo toy home after we had sex. He also makes funny statements sometimes as in, “I love Jay-Z and I will give him 0-ral sex.”

I was just wondering if his dating so many women and always cheating on them is a cover-up to him hiding his homosexuality? I am wondering and wanted to know so I can help him so he won’t keep hurting women, especially if that’s not where his heart truly is. Thank you for your time, but I truly do need your help. – I Think My Son’s Father Is Gay

Check out whether Terrence Dean, a.k.a. the gay best friend, confirmed this woman’s suspicions on

More on Madame Noire!

Trending on MadameNoire

View Comments
Comment Disclaimer: Comments that contain profane or derogatory language, video links or exceed 200 words will require approval by a moderator before appearing in the comment section. XOXO-MN
  • charlieshine1

    Get tested!

  • MLS2698

    I think you get off by writing those scenarios.

  • MZB

    how can you be sexually active with someone that you are “not attracted to”?….o_o (confused)

  • Mackenzie

    “I love Jay-Z and I will give him oral sex.”

    I know TONS of straight men who feel the same way. .>__.> (side eye)

  • The only thing you need to worry about now is that you and your son are okay, and free from infection. Damn, I hope those women are protecting themselves!

  • WF

    Well…I found out my ex received oral from a man…and HE SAID he’s not gay or bisexual…

    • MZB

      glad he is your ex cuz i would have to ask how did it get up or stay up…lol..had to be aroused someway..smh..

  • FromUR2UB

    Geesh. If the man painted a confession on the wall, I think this woman would still ask, “Do you think this means he’s gay?” A deaf and blind mute could figure out he wants to be, if he hasn’t done something already.

  • FromUR2UB

    I think I’d get off that train before it reaches its destination.

  • quest

    This article just needed a reaction, clearly he is gay or bi.

  • No straight man is going to want to blow Jay-z or let you play around his anal area during sex. He’s telling on himself and she didn’t even need to ask the columnist. All the answers she needed are staring her in the face.

  • Candacey Doris

    Really suspect he might be gay. The whole looking at other men’s naked pics and wanting to blow Jay-Z is the thing for me. Even men that have come to enjoy a prostate massage will look at a guy sideways for that.

  • Say What?

    Say what now? He says things like he wants to give JayZ oral and he are ASKING if you think he is dl? I have never none a hetero man joke like that period!!! Why oh why are some women so clueless? I mean really you have to ask! We as women have got to stop the feeling and start the thinking damn!

  • Evilena

    She really had to ask this??? Dude doesn’t even sound bi…he sounds gay. Sleeping with way too many women has always been sign numero uno (for me) that a man is not straight. Like the gay best friend said…he’s trying too hard…way too hard. I’d also bet there is a VERY particular type he has (something else I’ve noticed among closeted men)…that type isn’t even necessarily based on looks…it could be based on abilities. When someone I knew was in the closet-he only dated women who could sing their butts off. He wasn’t attracted to them-he was attracted to their musical abilities…and what’s his passion?? MUSIC!


    the jay z comment should confirm all your suspicions. If your questioning it, there is a reason. why doesnt she ask him, in a non judgmental fashion, of course.

  • Ms_Sunshine9898

    girl if you don’t know what that is from what you just wrote. . . smh. . .

  • Pingback: My Boyfriend Likes – Madame Noire : : Relationship Advice – Free()

  • DoinMe

    These “do you think he’s gay” questions and conversations come up a lot with women nowadays and its scary. If you gotta ask, chances are he’s probably into “something” messy.

  • MLS2698

    Save that psycho-sexual Freudian speak for the classroom; this is not unconscious behavior. He is clearly acting out!

    • jason vorhees

      I never said that a grown man who looks at d*ck pictures and makes references to goin down on JAY-Z wasnt weird. A straight male no matter how comfortable in their sexuality or freaky they are just is not going to make those types of comments. Yes we agree on that. If you read what the woman says though she is asking if the audience thinks he is gay. I dont need to define what homosexual means to the people on this site because we are all educated im sure :O)…..How is a man who is clearly sleeping with a woman homosexual and not bi if she suspects he is involved with men also?

      • MLS2698

        Read Terrance Dean’s reply. * sips coffee while you do that*

        • jason vorhees

          Ok i read the reply. What am i supposed to take from a homosexual male making that comment with no study or basis that comes from psychological studies? If a lesbian has sex with her girlfriend and uses a strap on thats shaped like a man’s parts does that make her girlfriend straight? If a wife uses a finger on her husband while giving him head does that make him gay? You dont base a persons sexuality on “objects” used in the bedroom. You base it on the 2 people. I dont care if a wife shoves a telephone pole up inside of her husband, if the husband never has a sexual encounter with another man he is heterosexual.

        • jason vorhees

          so i read terrance deans reply. Am i supposed to take a homosexual males comment with no psychological basis or studies to back it up at face value?

      • Oh…you thought you could talk logic with the know-it-all women of MN? That dumb retort from her should teach you otherwise.

        • MLS2698

          Don’t get mad Toine * in my Men on Film, Wayans brother voice*

          • Using snark and condescension doesn’t mean that you’re actually intelligent. What Jason Vorhees did was make an educated comment to lazy, under-educated people thinking that this was a sight for that kind of act. It’s not. It’s a site filled hyper critical black women who love to talk out of both sides of their mouth. Trumpeting the white man by forgiving his actions while simultaneously throwing the black man under the bus for those same actions. Thanks MLS2698- I love when you try to be funny but in doing so, prove my point.

            • MLS2698

              Snark is the new smart! And get off of that man’s knutz!

            • MLS2698

              Why are you up here? This site is for info-tainment in case you didn’t know. Why do MEN come to a woman’s site if you think we talk out of both sides of our mouths??????????? And, I was funny!

  • Calikush

    Man, the chick on the pic with ol’ dude looks like Tracee Ellis Ross! I had to do a double take! But, on the real….. The Red Flag in that DL relationship is her husband liking the but area played with! Most straight guys will tell u it’s off limits! He most definitely sound like the DL type! This message is for all the DL men in these relationships with women, who are living a lie, needs to keep it real with urself and to the women they’re with! U come home after chillin’ with Melvin, then u want to come home and sleep with ur wifey and expose her to something she might not can’t rid of! SMH!!! Just Nasty! IJS!

  • Trisha_B

    This tickled me some lol. But i believe he’s gay. What was he gonna do w/ the toy? He could use it on another woman, but all them other things are rather gay

  • Trisha_B

    This tickled me some LOL. But that is gay. what is he gonna do w/ the dildo? he could very well use it on another woman but all them other things are just gay

  • Thats gay AF!!! I also have high alert to men that like to pound the backdoor and have their backdoor blown into smh!!

  • sammi_lu

    Just reading the title I ran out of flags to throw..somebody blow the whistle!

    • Seriously

      Lol right!

    • MLS2698

      He would give Jay-Z what? You threw the flags, so I’ll blow the whistle and call the foul! The call: improper reference of oral duties.

      • Amija James

        That’s not even DL, that is straight gay! Actually I’m a female and I’d never look at JayZ and think that! ughh

    • Anonymous

      lol… It shouldn’t be that hard to figure out. People have sexual fantasies but he’s so premeditated and will eventually act on it, that’s if he didn’t already do it. I admire beautiful women, but the day I say I will go down on another woman should be a wake up call and confirmation. And, the day my man says that, save me some tears and let’s call a spade a spade. Bye.

  • Lorenzo

    Sounds gay to me!!

  • jason vorhees

    In the study of human sexuality and sexual psychology there has been found to be 5 states of sexual being. homosexual, heterosexual, bisexual, pansexual and deviant. Setting aside our as black people hypermasculine understanding of sexuality that is clearly based on fear based stereotyping YES there is a such thing as a bisexual male and female. These are people who are stated to be sexually active with “not attracted to” but actually sexual active with both men and women. Attraction is NOT a trait by which psychologists and psychiatrists base a persons actual sexuality. Example: an effeminate VIRGIN boy who likes boys is not homosexual. He is merely attracted to boys. Until he acts on his attraction he is merely a virgin that is attracted to boys. I could state other examples for days. Until the man stated in the article actually has a sexual act with another man he is a heterosexual man with a bisexual curiousity.

  • Treacle234

    Interesting. Maybe he is but that is not your concern anymore.