Make Your Ex Man Your Best Friend? Times When It’s Not Okay to Be Cool With Your Ex…

June 29th, 2012 - By Julia Austin
"Couple angry sitting back to back"

nwso.net

Trying to prove something

Sometimes your ego takes over, and somebody who screwed you over tries to come back into your life and you let them. Why? Because you want it to be “different” this time. They hurt you, so now you want to prove that you don’t care. Maybe you want to date them and date other people to show them just how unattached you are. Look: if you care enough to feel you need to prove something to an ex, the definitely still have the power to hurt you. If you really didn’t care, you just wouldn’t let them back in. Looking out for your ego and looking out for yourself rarely go hand in hand. Usually, while you’re trying to prove that you’re the strong one now, your ex hurts you the same way they did before. And you end up feeling infinitely worse than you did after the first breakup. You don’t need to prove that you “don’t care” now. No one is buying it.

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  • Mischa Monae

    There’s no point in being friends with an ex. There’s too much to think about for someone who you’re just friends with….

  • mj_1957

    I have no desire to be my ex-husband’s “BFF”. There are very valid reasons why I divorced him in the first place –and trying to stay in a relationship with him because it’s “safe and comfortable” doesn’t work for me. We are civil and courteous to one another because we are parents to our teenage daughter. However, he has his own life, and lifestyle that includes a bunch of female friends (his intimate relations with his female friends is the primary reason I divorced him). As far as I’m concerned, after 20+ years of marriage, I know his modus operandi and what makes him tick. We both know that he’s unwilling and unable to change, and there’s no point in going down this path again, plus this would be sending a mixed and “very confusing” message to our child. When I say, “I’m done”, I mean it and I don’t look back.

  • Evilena

    I’m very good friends with my ex…he’s a good man and I’m a good woman. We just don’t work well together. I’d be happy to see him happy…and that goes both ways. But if you weren’t friends before the relationship-I doubt you will be after no matter what transpired during.

  • Darcampb

    Also I think relationships that ended horribly with people screwing over one or the other are a no go for friendships. I for one would never be friends with an ex and have to watch him date, romance, and possibly treat other women better than I was ever treated by him. Or have him coming to me for advice–yuck. No thanks.