Make Your Ex Man Your Best Friend? Times When It’s Not Okay to Be Cool With Your Ex…

June 29th, 2012 - By Julia Austin
"Woman Saying Stop with Both Hands"

blackgirlcry.wordpress.com

Trying to be friends right after the break up

No matter under what terms you broke up, staying friends with a recent ex is like not breaking up at all. If you are still communicating with each other and even seeing each other, the cold hard fact that it is over just can’t hit you. Consciously, this person is still in your life and they might be for convenience (which isn’t cool). And so, since just moments ago they were a lover, subconsciously you feel they still are. You can’t really grieve an ex until you distance yourself from them. And you can’t really move on until you grieve. Think you and this ex could make good friends? Great. He’ll still platonically be there in a few months. But, if you fear that too much time passing will make some sort of spark go away, then you’re keeping that ex around for a different reason than friendship.

Tags:

, , ,
More from StyleBlazer
More from MommyNoire

Comment Disclaimer

Comments that contain profane or derogatory language, video links or exceed 200 words will require approval by a moderator before appearing in the comment section. XOXO-MN

  • Mischa Monae

    There’s no point in being friends with an ex. There’s too much to think about for someone who you’re just friends with….

  • mj_1957

    I have no desire to be my ex-husband’s “BFF”. There are very valid reasons why I divorced him in the first place –and trying to stay in a relationship with him because it’s “safe and comfortable” doesn’t work for me. We are civil and courteous to one another because we are parents to our teenage daughter. However, he has his own life, and lifestyle that includes a bunch of female friends (his intimate relations with his female friends is the primary reason I divorced him). As far as I’m concerned, after 20+ years of marriage, I know his modus operandi and what makes him tick. We both know that he’s unwilling and unable to change, and there’s no point in going down this path again, plus this would be sending a mixed and “very confusing” message to our child. When I say, “I’m done”, I mean it and I don’t look back.

  • Evilena

    I’m very good friends with my ex…he’s a good man and I’m a good woman. We just don’t work well together. I’d be happy to see him happy…and that goes both ways. But if you weren’t friends before the relationship-I doubt you will be after no matter what transpired during.

  • Darcampb

    Also I think relationships that ended horribly with people screwing over one or the other are a no go for friendships. I for one would never be friends with an ex and have to watch him date, romance, and possibly treat other women better than I was ever treated by him. Or have him coming to me for advice–yuck. No thanks.