Make Your Ex Man Your Best Friend? Times When It’s Not Okay to Be Cool With Your Ex…

June 29th, 2012 - By Julia Austin

 

"Black couple laughing"

dotheknowledge.com

Face it: there’s really no reason for you to be friends with your ex. Need a friend? Join one of those Meetup Groups online. Or, how about this: grab any random person off the street who you didn’t use to love/like/sleep with. I wouldn’t recommend it. But don’t get me wrong though, there are people out there who are mature enough to become close with their exes again, but in a way that doesn’t leave sexual tension brewing or resentment from past issues. It’s true that there are some instances when it’s not harmful to mix and mingle with your old man again, but there are times where trying to be close to your ex backfires, too. So that you don’t waste your time, his time, or possibly hurt your current partner, you should have a clear understanding of just what this ex lover is doing in your life.

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  • Mischa Monae

    There’s no point in being friends with an ex. There’s too much to think about for someone who you’re just friends with….

  • mj_1957

    I have no desire to be my ex-husband’s “BFF”. There are very valid reasons why I divorced him in the first place –and trying to stay in a relationship with him because it’s “safe and comfortable” doesn’t work for me. We are civil and courteous to one another because we are parents to our teenage daughter. However, he has his own life, and lifestyle that includes a bunch of female friends (his intimate relations with his female friends is the primary reason I divorced him). As far as I’m concerned, after 20+ years of marriage, I know his modus operandi and what makes him tick. We both know that he’s unwilling and unable to change, and there’s no point in going down this path again, plus this would be sending a mixed and “very confusing” message to our child. When I say, “I’m done”, I mean it and I don’t look back.

  • Evilena

    I’m very good friends with my ex…he’s a good man and I’m a good woman. We just don’t work well together. I’d be happy to see him happy…and that goes both ways. But if you weren’t friends before the relationship-I doubt you will be after no matter what transpired during.

  • Darcampb

    Also I think relationships that ended horribly with people screwing over one or the other are a no go for friendships. I for one would never be friends with an ex and have to watch him date, romance, and possibly treat other women better than I was ever treated by him. Or have him coming to me for advice–yuck. No thanks.