Mulling Over Marriage? The 10 WORST Reasons To Say I Do

June 24th, 2012 - By Brooke Dean

now.msn.com

1. Because He Asked

It’s hard to say no when a man is on bended knee flashing a shiny diamond in your face. The more carats the ring has, the more you’re inclined to say “yes” before you’ve had a chance to ask yourself if he’s really someone you love enough to commit to for the rest of your life. You may love him, but are not ready for the next step, or there may be some outstanding issues you need to resolve before you make that decision. If you didn’t see the proposal coming and you feel blindsided, simply tell him that although you love him very much, you feel that you need to take your time and strengthen your relationship before you talk marriage. If you don’t love him, then tell him that, or that you’re not there yet. You shouldn’t feel obligated to get married simply because someone asks you to be his wife. If he truly means it, he’ll ask again – or you can ask HIM next time if you’re non-traditional. And if he’s not the one, then the right man WILL ask one day.

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  • RedButterfly81

    I’ve been divorced for 2 years now and I was married for 3 years, but my husband wanted to move to Arizona while I wanted to stay in Chicago after my mother suffered her 5th stroke which paralyzed the right side of her body, she’s doing better. Plus I was pregnant with our daughter and filed for divorce when she was 9 months old.

  • Bits

    marriage should definitely be in the top 10 List of Propaganda/BS that people blindly believe in without question. Somewhere between “being gay is a choice” and “the pope is the direct link to God himself”. #GMAB

    • guest

      Seems like you need to read some history on marriage.

      • Bits

        I’m very aware of the history of marriage. Hence the content of my comment.

  • Nehemiah53

    The title of this article is the prime example of black folk negative attitude towards marriage “Mulling over marriage The 10 worst reason to say I do”‘ why can’t we be positive about marriage and say “Mulling over marriage the 10 best reason to say I do”. Check this out just before my cousin got married I heard him say “I am about to make the worst mistake in my life”, just the other day I over heard a young white male co worker tell the division manager just after he came back from his honeymoon he said ” I had the best time in my life and that [getting married] was the best decision I have every made in my life”, you see the deferent in attitude toward marriage. And you wonder why we have so many dysfunctional black family now what do that tell you! Think about it.

    • SMHgurl24

      Though i agree about having beter things to say about marriage i have to say these days ive seen plenty of people entering marriages for at least 3 over these reasons. From being pregnate to wanting to brag about the ring on the finger, there are way too many people entering into this contract and have absolutely no idea what’s their getting themselves into. If you want to play dress up have a costume party. For me marriage is a sacred binding between two loving people who will put the time and effort into it, not people who like the idea of having a day dedicated to them. Lol guess im old fashion :)

      • SMHgurl24

        And fyi ive seen plenty of other cultures besides black that do this. This problem isnt racial, its societial (rite word?)

      • Nehemiah53

        No not old fashion, you are wise and just got good common sense!

  • L-Boogie

    But I actually want to be married…at least to the man that was meant for me.

    • Nehemiah53

      If you want to be married great it’s honorable, carry your self like a potential wife and when you meet and feel he is the right man let him know you want to be married don’t be pushy but let him know what type of lady you are!

  • L-Boogie

    This is a true article!

  • Miss Anonymous

    So wait, I shouldnt marry a man if Im head over heels for him nor should I marry him if he is meh. So when should I marry him?

    • Charla

      Same thing I was wondering lol

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_JAI4SRENU2A5WKRTELXXYJPDSI Kayla

    number 10 sounds alot like Kim Kardashian. lol

    • Ash

      She’s a hopeless romantic, just like me. I have a wedding binder that I made when I was 16, all I need is a groom. Also, Kim (like me) wanted to be married by the time she’s 30. We can’t help it! This is why I’m afraid of getting married.

      • Nehemiah53

        If you are like Kim K please by all means don’t get married!

      • MLS2698

        In love with the idea of being married. When I attended the marriage of an acquaintance in 2010, her sister came over to my table afterwards and said, ” my sister has wanted to be married ever since she was six-years-old, she would have married a dog.” Shame, but it was true. *shrug*