Accepting Your Curl Texture

June 27th, 2012 - By Jouelzy

It seems that everywhere you look, someone is going natural, getting in touch with her roots (literally) and discovering the joys of having beautiful, thick bouncy curls that spring to life in a simple twist out.

Oh…wait, that wasn’t your natural hair story? Are you still trying to figure out what you’re doing wrong that’s keeping you from looking like the girl pictured above? Unfortunately there are a lot of women going through that experience, buying up every other product that promises shiny, buoyant curls and wondering what’s wrong with the state of their natural hair. Nothing is wrong with it; you just have to learn to accept the state of your natural hair texture.

The one thing to remember when it comes to hair is that every hair strand is not created equal. Even the hair on your head differs from one patch to the next. Your hair may be shorter in the center, curlier in the back and kinkier on the right side of your head. Even further, every person has a different DNA, chemical composition and therefore hair makeup, leading to a multitude of hair textures. Some may be coarser than others, while others may have tighter curls or looser waves.  There are ways to care, maintain and grow any hair texture. It all comes to understanding and accepting your texture first and using that to set realistic expectations of your hair.

While perusing Instagram, Tumblr and the almighty YouTube for hair tutorials and inspiration, it is important to not over idolize other peoples hair, causing you to lose pride in your own texture. You should use the inspiration to learn how to keep your hair healthy and stylish. Texture is just one small piece of your hair’s composition and while your hair may not be as outwardly curly or thick as other images you have seen, regardless of texture, your hair can be manipulated into its own unique styles.

It’s imperative that you learn to appreciate your own hair texture just as much as your admire your hair crush. Even if you believe your hair is beyond any hair type chart, there is something unique about every head of hair. All it takes is taking a step back, taking a deep breath, exhaling and learning how to cater to your hairs’ actual needs. While you may want super curly hair, your natural hair texture may never grow of your scalp as such. But you can set your hair into beautiful curls and even create a look that you love more than the original inspiration.

You have to start somewhere. Start by accepting your texture. Be proud. Have more questions? You can ask the experts at Carol’s Daughter at www.TransitioningMovment.com

Jouelzy offers tutorials on all aspects of Black hair care via her YouTube channel. You can also find her daily hair tips and inspirations on Facebook.

Tags:

, , ,
More from StyleBlazer
More from MommyNoire

Comment Disclaimer

Comments that contain profane or derogatory language, video links or exceed 200 words will require approval by a moderator before appearing in the comment section. XOXO-MN

  • Smacks_hoes

    I have been natural (no perms for about two years). I can’t say Wheather I like it or not because I wear sew ins all the time. I would like my hair to be a certain length and braids seems to make it grow the fastest so that’s the reason I’m partial to weaving at this point. I am kind of curious to know what kind of curl pattern I have though

    • Anon

      Women that go your route, end up with a head full of hair and don’t know how to care for it. What happens then is 1. they make bad hair choices which cause the growth to be stunted, cease, or break 2. they go back to perms. If you don’t learn your hair you won’t know what techniques to use, what products to use, what your hair likes/dislikes, or have a hair regime that cordinates with your schedule etc… and hunny trying to figure that out when your hair is longer is much more frustrating/expensive. Your statement “braids makes it grow” tells me you don’t know much about caring for natural hair. Braids don’t make your hair grow, its the lack of manipulation which allows your hair to retain the growth you’re getting which seems like the braids are making your hair grow. I suggest you visit curlynikki’s website to inform yourself a little more about the maintenance of natural hair. I believe you could accelerate your hair growth, even while wearing your weaves/braids, with proper maintenance.

  • PA-TX

    Yeah my natural hair totally took some getting used to. I never did the big chop or transition styles (I just pressed my hair). I knew 1 had a super-duper 4c texture but it was still a shock when I started finally wearing it natural. 2-3 years into it, I’ve finally gotten the hang of it. Every time I’m tempted to relapse to the creamy crack, I remember how my once lifeless shoulder-length relaxed hair is now full and reaches the middle of my back (when straightened). 

    As a lazy hair person (I hate doing my hair, relaxed or natural), I wish this site would address/define what a texturizer is. And what is this Keratin treatment about? Is it the same thing as a Brazilian Blowout? I know I could find a ton of info online, but MN is great with the quick-and-dirty hair guides. I always see Groupons for “formaldehyde-free” keratin treatments. I would never go back to a full-on relaxer and I don’t want my hair bone straight. But I am curious about these supposedly less harsh chemical treatments like texturizers and keratin treatments that make the hair more manageable.

    • GLAMOUR

      Kudos to you for being natural! I too have extremely coarse hair (4X anyone? lol), and have been relaxing it for nearly my entire life. I cannot comb my hair when there is too much new growth. I think I will probably start transitioning whenever I get pregnant.

      • PA-TX

        Yep, getting pregnant was the main reason I went natural. Best of luck whenever you transition.

    • Anon

      Keratin treatments without Formaldeyde are fine BUT they whole treatment means the use of A LOT of direct heat in the form of blow drying and flat ironing. If you’re open to possible heat damage and the use of large amounts of direct heat then you might want to try it. Texturizers are nothing but relaxers. Do not believe otherwise. My mother used one on my sisters hair to “loosen” the curl, not straighten her hair, and it loosened the curl…. and every 2 months new growth came and she had to texturize again. After my mother realized her error (a mistake I warned her against) she ended up having to transition my sister out of the texturizer just like you do with a regular relaxer.

  • ME

    A lot the natural hair products are very misleading. I feel that they only celebrate certain types of curls patterns, such as Tracee Ellis Ross’ texture. How about something for people with kunta kinte’s hair texture (like mine). I just want something that maintains my mane beautifully/ gives me flexibility with styling and not question my femininity, due to shrinkage. I don’t like afros its makes me look like a boy and plus they look like something hideous from another decade.!! I’m sick and tired of spending money. UGGHHH!!! I know I sound like I am ranting but that is exactly what I am doing. I’m tired and i know i’m not the only one. I don’t want to do a twist out or braid out I have no time!!!! My wash and goes shrink up!!! Sometimes I wonder why did God curse me with such unruly and ugly hair! God why me??? If anyone has any ideas as to what i can do or product please reply. =/

    • Smacks_hoes

      Lol I’m sorry but your rant was hilarious. I can’t tell if your serious or not.

    • sabrina

      I can’t even help you cause I don’t really belong here since I’m not natural, but first, imma need you to breathe girl. I’m sure your hair is not ugly, and God did not curse you, but rather blessed you with such a unique hair texture.
      Now someone come help this woman before she goes crazy!!

    • http://twitter.com/_VanityFair_ Meia Burke

      I understand your pain!! I have VERY COURSE hair that I have to part in small sections in order to comb. I have had plenty of “god why me??” conversations as well. The truth of the matter is you have to take the time to do your hair unless you wanna walk around look liking esther roll from good times. The easiest way to maintain your hair and give it some length is to do a two strand twist. I know you said you dont have time for that but you have to make the time….and it will get easier the more you do them. I also understand the frustration with hair products. I have bought every natural hair product in target and nothing worked for me. Finding the right products is trial and error but eventually you will find out what works for you. Two products that I swear by are Giovanni organic hair care direct leave-in weightless conditioner (whole foods sales it) and oyinhandmade honey hemp conditioner. Not everything works for everyone, but if your texture is similiar to mine (which it sounds like it is) this should work for you. Hope this helps!! Also if it gets too frustrating wear braids or weave!! I rarerly wear my real hair . Not that i dont love it because I do, but sometimes its just too much maintaence and I hate the shrinkage.

      • http://twitter.com/NewNaturalSista Royal

        Wait a minute whats wrong with the fros??? isnt they the perfect example of how black people hair really grow from our heads than the two strand twist?? But I wear my hair in a fro with a band pushed back on it. It looks cute

      • deb

        some of us just don’t like our hair for one reason or another and i want to dig deep and ask why. I know it can be a bit to handle sometimes but there are things in my life that are a bit to handle sometimes but i can still appreciate them. I just pray black women that feel like you come to a place where they feel comfortable with and appreciate their hair for all it can look like and all it can do.

        I don’t agree that we have to LOVE our hair but not feeling comfrotable with your own hair must be a bit of a drag. I’m not saying it to be mean or sarcastic, I know how it feels to be uncomfy with certain things about myself and it is NOT fun. Sort of a prison in some ways :(

    • ME

      I thank you everyone for replying. I think that im just going through an emotional break down. I’ve been through so much from spending my money and being rejected by other men who go for the “good hair” type.I’m tired of having to go to bed with a scarf on my head especially in this heat… along with other hair do’s and don’ts for black hair. I just want to look at myself in the mirrior and say you know what I love my hair and its easy to manage and looks nice!! Sometimes I wished God helped me.

      • GLAMOUR

        I don’t know you ME, but it sounds like we have a similar hair texture. You can always relax your hair…people take this hair thing too seriously. Some women wear weaves, others braids, others relax, others are natural and some have no hair. Choosing to wear your hair one way over another doesn’t mean you hate yourself or your hair. IT IS JUST HAIR!!!

        Whatever you decide to do, I hope you come to love your hair and are able to figure out how to manage it on a daily basis!!! :)

      • deb

        STOP following the rules and figure out what works for your head of hair. The natural community online seems to push this NATURAL HAIR IS A LIFESTYLE, IT SHOULD BE YOUR EVERYTHING mentality that is just too intense sometimes. Our hair is just hair and needs the basics, to be cleaned and to be moisturized (and to STAY moisturized…) a good shampoo, a good moisturizer and a good sealer (some people need heavier sealers, oils + creams like shea butter) and consistency.

    • ATF

      I would say add color to it. I chopped my hair off back in April. I did not like the look at all. I couldn’t get with it. I bought big earrings to make myself more feminine but still no luck. It wasn’t until I got a bold hair color (copper) and a good edge up/taper on the sides that I loved my mini-fro. Of course this hair color is like two shades lighter than my natural hair color but it looks really good. That’s an option. I say begin to look in the mirror until you see what all you like about yourself and hair just makes it an extra bonus! :-)

      • 30thoughts

        ATF, You could not be more right about adding color. I wear my hair straightened most of the time, but when I wore it curly for the first time with color, it looked phenomenal! I got so many compliments. I have really thick hair, but not a fro. Color works either way.

    • ok_dayumm

      @ME….My suggestion to you is to, first off stop trying all the products in the stores. Most of them contain silicones and other igredients that will make your hair look good for a minute then cause build-up later that ends up making your hair more dry and unmanagable. This happened to me once I big chopped may hair again after 7 years of being natural. Then I started think about how my son and most all Black men don’t seem to have these problems that us women have with dryness, etc. That’s because they don’t put all these products in their hair. So I went on youtube and researched the Curly Girl method which advocates using all natural products with no silicones and sulfates. With this method the only product you really need to worry about is your conditioner as it can be used as your styling product as well. I don’t use my conditioner as my styling product because I do not want my hair to remain wet for hours. I use an all natural oil based product that allows my hair to dry quickly and gives me the moisture and slyling hold that I need.
      I think it will be easier for you to gain control orver your hair texture if you are able to recognize your true curl pattern in it’s most healthy state, and you can do that by stripping all those bad products out of your hair and starting over with only one or two all natural products. I did an ACV rinse and got all that crap out of my head and from then on I said whatever my texture is “It is what it is”. And funny now my hair is more soft and curly now than it was when I was trying those different products, even though I would have accepted my hair had it been any other way as long as it was healthy.
      And naturals, being natural does not have to be expensive. There are no rules on how YOUR hair should look. Only you make the choice to spend your money trying to achieve a certain LOOK. Like I said, I only use a few products: Shampoo, $1.00; Conditioner, $8.00; Styling Product, $10.00. And those will last me for at least a couple of months and I don’t think that’s anymore that what the average person spends on their haircare products.
      Anyway Good Luck!

    • Immapray4u

      You need to see a psychiatrist about your self-hate issues. Then worry about your hair.SMH.

  • deidrap

    Bad idea to end the article with a plug for Carol’s Daughter. Especially because this is a much-needed article. Many women go natural and then bend over backwards to “create” a crinkly or curly effect on their hair. While I’m all for variety, we should really embrace our natural texture. (Natural since 1993)

    • ME

      Please tell me how have you accepted your hair… i find it very hard to do without me feeling that i look like a boy.

      • deidrap

        I had short hair when I went natural, so I started with less than an inch of hair. I had always felt pretty before that day but instantly felt unattractive, so I feel your pain. Over the next few weeks, I realized what length I preferred, used head bands at times, paid more attention to other features (eyebrows, etc.). I quickly felt pretty again BUT had family members tell me I looked awful. My hair is 3C, super thick, with a wavy pattern. Good luck…it gets better.

  • Amija James

    I was like, finally, a nice unbiased article that’s not trying to sell me something. My bad for thinking so high of MN.

    • Ninja skeeter

      Stop hating, MN is a business just like all others, ofcourse they have to sell something .. i think their articles are interesting.. just skip the selling part amija SMH

      • Amija James

        First of all, it’s 2012, did you really tell me to “stop hating?” Find something new. Second of all, it’s hard to give unbiased and reliable information, which is what an article should be, if you’re always plugging companies. This was not an article, it was an advertisement.