Clothes That Don’t Fit and 7 Other Black Girl Problems

June 19th, 2012 - By Veronica Wells

Today my little sister tweeted that she can never find shorts that fit her. I felt her pain. This is a story women of color, particularly black women, know all too well. As much as we all love to be black women, in all of our glory, our splendor, and our downright sexiness, there are particular challenges that come along with being a black woman in America. Do you know what I’m sayin’? If not, take a look at the struggles and let us know in the comments section, whether or not you can relate.

Source: coloredgirlconfidential.com

Speaking your mind without being dubbed the angry black woman

Not only are women often regarded as second class citizens in the workplace but black women have the additional burden of being stereotyped as being naturally confrontational. If you have an opinion at work you better hope and pray that your co-workers are cool enough to take it as just that and not a threat to their safety.

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  • Aziza

    Eff a band aid. What about flesh-colored bras?

    • Mrsadkiah

      Lol yeah and shoes! I think that I can say that we don’t really CARE that a band-aid says flesh colored and we can’t match it to our skin. It’s more that when things say flesh colored and only come in the color of the flesh of white people that’s saying something. Our color isn’t the norm or considered flesh. Brown people just have to deal

      • Msmykimoto2u

        Actually our flesh colored shoes are just brown shoes haha! We’ve had them all alone and ppl have never realized =)

        • Mrsadkiah

          Lol I know I”m saying it’s more what it means to say “flesh colored” and have it be a certain race’s “flesh”.

  • Chanda

    To be honest I don’t tie my hair up every night I just sleep on a satin pillow case. I’m now seeing in “white” women magazines where they’re telling them to do the same thing (to preserve a blowout) so tying up the hair is not just a black girl thing.
    As a fellow natural, sometimes a black woman with natural, unkempt hair can look mean or lazy if she didn’t bother to style her hair that day but the same thing applies to permies. I love my natural hair but moral of the story, comb that hair!

  • Chanda

    Nice post but pages take forever to load and scroll down. Anyways, sistas be true to yourself and forget the naysayers. They’ll have you being a walking statistic before the day is over. Not everybody wants to live the hood life. Black girls have to live outside of the box in order to grow, learn and have a bit of fun.

  • RedButterfly81

    I’ve been accused of “talking white” all my life by other black folks and my cousin calls me an Uncle Tom for not liking rap music, even though I favor old school hip-hop over modern day ones.

    • tbaby_8

      I agree, most modern rap artist aren’t that good. Old school hip hop is the best. Oh how I miss it so.

  • Love

    I’ve always been the black girl who doesn’t fit into any of the expectations or should I say stereotypes. I’m just myself, live my life, you either accept me or you don’t. I think the focus should be, how to handle it, where you are not embarrassed or feel awkward for not looking or fit into these stereotypes. I’m dark skin, I listen to different type of music not just hip hop or R&B, like to swim, haven’t watched a madea movie, and I speak proper. I’ve heard it all since high school to adulthood, you act white. Then, when I’m around white people, oh, you are so different from what I thought you will be. Exactly, that’s the reason you can’t judge a book by its cover and put all in the same box. If you see my with a big fluffy afro or tying a scarf when going to bed or my hair looks different when dipped in water, well that’s me. I don’t get mad, I explain to them I’m an individual or i just leave it alone.

    • CLW

      I can relate SO well to everything that Ms. “Love” had to say. I’m pushing 60 years old and have always been the “short-haired” (alopecia), dark-skinned, eyeglass-wearing, jazz listening, bibliophile that spoke Englsh so properly that as a small child, my elders were urged to “beat me” by ignorant black folks so I wouldn’t sound “uppity.” I never fit in, either, and at this late date, “it ain’t happening.”

  • lalatarea

    um going to a site that’s aimed for black women entertainment and being able to read a DANM thing because i have to X out of 3 ads, stop a video from playing, go back to the site cuz i was linked to another, and having to reload the page constantly cuz the ads keep freaking EVERYTHING up! Especially the mobile site!

    Seriously does anyone who work for this site ever try to navigate from the our (the readers) point of view? This is ridiculous!

    • Miss D

      I use firefox and the popup blocker helps a lot.

    • RedButterfly81

      If you’re using Google Chrome get ad block.

    • sweettea

      Get ad blocker app if you use Android

  • TD

    True that on the TV shows. I caught a rerun of Living Single the other night and had a moment of silence for smart, funny, and relatable black television.

  • TD

    True that on the TV shows. I caught a rerun of Living Single the other night and had a moment of silence for smart, funny, and relatable black television.

    • Msmykimoto2u

      What would I give to have another Living Single type show

      • jynx

        Or Girlfriends!

  • cgplenty

    I can relate to a lot of points here, especially the one about wearing your hair natural. The worst is when another black person tells me to straighten my hair so it won’t be so “nappy”. Why is it such a bad thing to embrace your hair the way it grows out of your head?

    • IfUDontCareWhyYouReadingMe

      it went through that in high school and im only 21 years old, 1 girl actually dug in finger into my afro ponytail

  • http://twitter.com/NewNaturalSista High GrAdE KarMa

    Hmmm My black girl problem is no one never show the beauty of all of our complexions and the diversity of our hair! smh and dont forget how our men be doing some ignorant stuff towards us

    • Neffy

      Sorry bout the thumbs down, lol that was a mistake

    • Msmykimoto2u

      One thing i have noticed when it comes to natural haired women in hair magazines and blogs, is that you will hardly see the girl like me. Dark skinned with tightly coiled kinky hair. Not everyone has the perfectly wavy or more defined curly textured hair that can be parted down the middle and stay that way =(

    • http://twitter.com/suthurncharM bellA$diablo

      Truuuuuue<——-2chains voice

  • Anon

    #8 – when men assume that because you’re black, you shouldn’t/don’t have standards. No, don’t want to be your baby momma #2, 3, 4, etc!

    • Candacey Doris

      Exactly! And why is it if you don’t have a kid in your mid twenties- early thirties you’re looked at like you’re a mythological creature.

      • IfUDontCareWhyYouReadingMe

        true-im not having kids ever

      • Msmykimoto2u

        My thing is they are so rushed to have kids with you but not as persistent as putting a ring on your finger

        • jynx

          I have the opposite problem. They’ll come up with rings. Proposals, no prob, but no one wants babies anymore… Why the hell would I want to get married but not have kids?

          • Ash

            Because they’re expensive… I’d rather be a the rich spoiling aunt. And if I do have kids, it’s only one.

      • Kitsy

        “And why is it if you don’t have a kid in your mid twenties- early thirties you’re looked at like you’re a mythological creature.”

        Even doctors give me the blank stare/confused silence when I tell them I don’t have any kids (I’m in my early thirties).

        • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1446412136 Paula Woods

          Try being 40 without a kid, or husband under your belt; oh, and add the horror of being educated and you are done.

    • http://twitter.com/Imani_Badu Imani Badu

      That’s super irritating. Dealing with the arrogant men (of ALL ethnic backgrounds and races) who seem to have the belief of “You’re a black woman, how dare you not be interested in me! I gave you a chance.” It’s so lame. Why should I have to put up with someone who treats me like crap just because I’m black so my “options” are limited? Ha, no thanks buddy.

      • http://twitter.com/starnoirr Nikla Anderson

        They thrive off of being the “only” option.

  • Sweet T

    You can add to this list people assuming because you’re black that you’re supposed to have a curvy figure.

    • Mrsadkiah

      And Black people telling you that you have a “White girl” shape if you’re not super curvaceous. Been there, done that.

      • http://twitter.com/ClassBeginsNow Ms. England

        and having curves isnt all that it’s cut out to be all of the time. Especially when shopping for clothes.

    • http://twitter.com/Imani_Badu Imani Badu

      Yeah…well, as a black girl, I’ve actually grown to hate my curves (starving, etc.) it sucks. Can’t be too thin. Can’t be too thick. Our BMI is too high, we’re always judged. It’s torture sometimes.

  • rose

    Are we really supposed to feel bad because of our beautiful curves and color? LOL! Maybe you do. But, I have much pride in my color, hair , and curves. Next!

  • thatonegirl

    #bestpost EVER!!!!! I swear this article is the story of my life.

  • Mel

    The hair things is true. I once had a hispanic friend ask me why I wear that ‘rag’ on my head. I just shook my head at her and kept going. If only she knew.

  • KJ23

    I loved the article and can relate to EVERYTHING in it! I’ve worked in predominantly white offices and went to a predominantly white high school and whenever I wanted to say anything people looked like they were ready to hit the floor for cover. I know that a black woman with an education and a voice can be intimidating, but I never thought dangerous!

  • Jalo

    Sounds like problems my ancestors have always had, yet it did not stop them fom being ladies, having black pride, finding a black husband, and always looking there best. Interesting article though. Oh and yes I have seen the darker colored Band-Aids!

  • FinVoilaQuoi

    Flesh colored band aids? That’s a stretch. If anyone out there is really troubled by the color of their band aid I’m here to tell advise of the existence of the liquid bandage. It’s clear and usually has an antiseptic in it.

  • Anonymous

    I thought Band-Aid made band aids in darker colors, they must have discontinued them, ’cause i certainly have seen them.

  • IllyPhilly

    They do have “our” flesh colored band-aids. LOL. I might have missed the point of this.

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