HALF ON A BABY: The Top 7 Ways You’ll Know He’s Ready For Kids

June 23rd, 2012 - By jaebi

bossip.com

Let’s face it, the lure of marriage just isn’t what it used to be and while it remains a goal for many, for a growing number of women it isn’t as important as finding a strong partner and a great father.

Despite peer pressure, there’s nothing wrong with going half on a baby with the right guy. It’s easier than you think. The right guy is a ready guy.

Even if he did put a ring on it, that doesn’t mean he’s ready to be a dad yet, or ever. Hopefully you talked about that kinda stuff ahead of time, but when it comes to your kids, actions are always safer than words.

Here are a few ways to know when the guy in question is ready to go half on a baby….

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  • Anon

    Putting a ring on it is not an indication that a man wants to have children. I think a conversation about having children in the future, before the marriage even happens is the best sign. I don’t think any responsible married couple would seek to have a child before their financial house was in order. This article is silly.

  • mischa34

    My opinion/my list:
    1. Money in the bank/ good paying job ($40k+ minimum per child)
    2. Married to me for at least 3+ years (my opinion); great friend and husband; and we actually love each other and take our marriage seriously…
    3. Not overweight and is physically healthy
    4. Mentally stable/ mature!
    5. Great with kids (his nieces, nephews, lil cousins, etc)
    6. Talks about kids, him being a father, how he’s going to raise them, etc…
    7. Comes from a good close knit family, preferably married parents and family oriented folks
    8. Spends money wisely/saves money, wants a home! we have a home! or we’re about to get one!
    9. Understands that parenting is a job! for both parents!! and we agree on how we plan to raise our kids.
    10. Is willing and able to allow me be a stay-at-home mom for at least the first 3-5 years of each child’s life.
    11. We both are able to pay our bills without struggling, and able to save, and all that good stuff…our finances are in order!! Kids are expensive!
    …probably why I won’t get married or have kids…lol

  • http://twitter.com/dollas26 B

    just seen this on sumbody profile…wtf???? its not a dime who comes up with these dumbass titles lol

  • Fearless Marshall

    Cough cough bullshit…the list should have went something like this…Great convo on having kids, he extends his time to kids without expecting anything in return, he’s a great role model and has patience with kids, financially stable or loves his job,
    he puts a ring on it, greats you at the alter, and sweeps you off you feet to the honey moon so you both could get it crackin to make this precious baby.

  • lisa

    ==BlackWhitePlanet.C/0/M =the
    most wonderful community to meet black and whitesingles ,

    =where_you_can_meet_mature
    women_who_are_searching_for_their_special_someone….

  • KamJos

    You’ve got to be kidding me with this article.

  • gabs

    I call bullshit on this entire article. Sounds like a little girl wrote it.

  • wepo1

    If he puts a ring on your finger should be the one and only reason to have babies responsblty and morally!!! All the other bs reason if not roving marriage first just makes you a baby mama and a person with no morals and that is why we have 70% rate of unwed black mothers!

  • FromUR2UB

    These indicators can be helpful, but they aren’t foolproof. We know that men are often good at compartmentalizing their lives. They often feel that what happens in one area of their lives, has nothing to do with another. For example, haven’t we heard men say they love the wives they cheat on? For some of them, what they do with other women has nothing to do with their feelings for their wives. Likewise, how he handles his money and personal business, whether he’s a people person, dog-owner, great advice giver or go-to guy, doesn’t confirm the kind of father he’ll be. Not saying anybody should have children with a man who has proven to be careless with money, though. That’s not good for anybody. Probably the one trait I’ve seen that’s pretty accurate, is the guy who likes kids and kids like him, is usually going to be an attentive father with his own.

  • Bits

    In reading the comments I can’t believe that in this day and time there is still so much emphasis on marriage. Seriously? Can someone please tell me the difference between two people in a committed relationship who love each other and are willing to sacrifice for one another and a married couple that possess the same traits? Marriage is a contract that states if something goes wrong in the marriage then it will be much more difficult to seperate because divorce proceedings are dreadful. Get a clue people! The beauty is not in the ceremony or the ring or the signed contract. The beauty is in the commitment and the love shared. Those can be achieved with or without marriage. And guess what the birth of a child is still a miracle. Contract signed or not.

    • bluekissess

      You can step down from your soapbox now. This article is about parenting not marriage.

      • Bits

        let me help you out with your reading skills. my comment addressed both the article AND the comments below the article which clearly made marriage a coinciding issue. you obviously have a reading and comprehension problem. You can probably find a 2nd grade version of hooked on phonics at your nearest library.

        • bluekissess

          I don’t want your help and I surely don’t need your help. Trust me you’ve said enough.

          If all this explanation gets you through the day then by all means go ahead.

          Just because I don’t agree with your logic doesn’t mean I can’t comprehend or need hooked on phonics. How old are we?

          • Bits

            excuse me but you were the one who lashed out at me because my comment made you uncomfortable. I am an adult. In the adult world people have opinions. You didn’t like mine so you responded like a 2nd grader. Get me through the day? Sweetie this is a social media site. If you are not accustomed to how comments are made and shared yet via the world wide web then I’m afraid there is no hope for you. Have a nice sunday at the playground on the jungle gym….don’t forget to share your toys.

            • bluekissess

              What makes you think I’m not an adult? You can’t judge what you don’t know. Your comments doesn’t make me uncomfortable because I don’t really care just like I really don’t care about your comment. Your irrelevant. Like I said if you need your soapbox to help you through your day then so be it. Since it’s Sunday everybody thinks there a “preacher”. Words don’t make me uncomfortable especially coming from someone I don’t know or don’t care about. It’s a shame people don’t get it. I’m done discussing foolishness with a fool.

              • Bits

                you don’t care about my comment but you were the first to respond. ok. sure. whatever you say.

                • Yaya

                  You two are more entertainingthan the article. lol

                  • shajerz

                    lmao….hell yeah they were

                  • mr yaya

                    Eh eh, yaya, what de seen rasta. Every thing irie red?

    • KIR12

      There has never been a nation in the history of civilization that has existed without men in the home, ever! Liberalism and the liberal ideology only works when the overwhelmingly majority of people embrace conservative social principles when it comes to the traditional nuclear family. There has never been a matriarchal nation, Fact. Black people are trying to do something that has never been done. have a productive community with no men in the home. IT CAN’T BE DONE.

      • Bits

        ????????

        • KIR12

          Stop with your liberal, feminist, homosexual propaganda lies. That fact is that there has never been a successful nation without marriage. Marriage has existed even before recorded history, fact.

    • mischa34

      You knoowww….I sorta agree with you.
      I have been rethinking my opinions of marriage vs a very close, loving long-time relationship…My parents didn’t get married until I was 10 years old and they had been together already for at least 15+ years. I asked them why so late, and they basically said they never thought about it for real. (???) I think the love they have for each other now and then triumphs a paper contract saying marriage…Their anniversary was earlier this month and they both forgot!!! and they didn’t think about it til my sis and I called to congratulate them at like 5pm in the evening! But then again my parents were raised in another era,in a small city in the South, and although they had kids before marriage, all they grew up around were men taking care of families and families stuck together, men doing everything to take care of their kids, etc…..My parents were young parents(19yo), so my dad went straight to the military and unlike, some of these guys that get out after 2-4 years, my dad is still in after serving in 2 wars! I remember on 9/11, he was ready to go back to war!! crazy azz….
      Nowadays, men just…I don’t know…they’re just different…
      Sometimes I wonder if my best guy friend is gonna be my husband or committed partner (whatever you want to call it). He started out as a friend, then my boyfriend (for 2 years),we broke up in 2006, and we still remain very close and its been almost a decade!! We talk everyday, and we’ve both had other relationships that failed…and no we haven’t had sex since we broke up…

      • Bits

        Finally an open minded person! Yes it is a very viable question. If people would just get out of auto pilot for a moment and be real with them selves then the question of whether marriage is necessary or not would not be so taboo. It’s a good discussion topic but people are so afraid to go against what the “norm” is or take a peak out of the box. Life is about exploring, questioning and growing. A lot of these people that are so pro-marriage would be surprised if they really took the time to really research the origins of marriage. The reality is marriage at its birth had nothing to do with religion/God and everything to do with status and money.

    • Ayisha

      You sound like a Baby Mama!!! I can’t believe you said why are people putting an emphasis on Marriage!! That statement alone means several things, 1. nobody is checking to marry you or you have low-self esteem

      • Bits

        the very fact that you think that someone “checking to marry” anyone is a status upgrade means that you are as childish as they come. Some advice for you: stay out of your emotions. I posed a simple question that requires a simple answer. If you don’t have the intellect or ability to answer it (which its obvious that you don’t) then please save your responses for myspace.

        • Ayisha

          I am very intelligent and Like I said you made an ignorant statement you must have low-self esteem and nobody wishes to marry you. I don’t have MySpace that is so 2005, but you must have it. Be Blessed Smooches!!!
          Sent from my IPad 3

  • Ladybug94

    Adults don’t go half on a baby; they get married and start a family. Who let their child submit an article on here?

  • Women

    The reason people are giving up on marriage is because women are letting men dictate the terms of the relationship out of fear of being alone. But that has the balance of powers out of sync. Women, you are supposed to set the tone, not men.

    • Janay

      Exactly exactly exactly exaclt exactly exactly exactly exactamente!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Biggest problem with male female relations today!

    • GM_I

      Then u need to figure out how to be attracted to men with no backbone or leadership qualities, plenty of pushover men out in the world for ball bustin br0adz who want to wear the pants & walk over a weak man.

  • Women

    As a married woman, I assure you that having a baby outside of marriage is a HUGE mistake. Every relationship will go through patches where you want to just walk away. Marriage makes you take pause, where otherwise you may leave prematurely. Of course you don’t want to be married just for the heck of it, but if you’re going to bring another life into the world, at least do it an atmosphere of stability, longevity, consistency and life-long commitment with your partner. Even in cases of divorce, at least you made your best effort to do it the right way.

    • Ayisha

      I agree!! very wise woman

  • InMyOpinion

    Although most MN articles seem to be written by young, single and inexperienced people, I would not totally disregard the advice. It may not always apply 100% but you can often find some good insight, and besides they’re trying. Just add to the conversation in your comments instead of criticizing.

    • Ladybug94

      Did you right this article?

      • bluekissess

        Its write not right

        • Ladybug94

          LOL. Thanks.

  • mz_chocolatina

    THIS CANNOT BE A REAL ARTICLE!!! ARE YOU SERIOUS???

  • Sweet T

    Having any type of pet is no sign of preparedness for parenthood. There are many immature men who are pet-owners, and babies and animals don’t even compare.

    • InMyOpinion

      The writer means you have a clue to how well he will care for a child by observing how he cares for another living being.

      • Ladybug94

        Use that logic and see what tragedy is awaiting. Not wise.

  • shay

    When he puts a ring on it and walks it down the aisle

    • Ladybug94

      Whooop, there it is.

    • Ayisha

      I agree!!! No ring no baby period. I don’t care what other women believe

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/TUEXVVHBFHYJ5T36VNTAD3PYTQ Cool Breeze

    99% OF THE CRAP ON THIS SITE ABOUT WHAT MEN THINK IS FROM A WOMAN’S PERSPECTIVE. HENCE, WHY MOST OF IT IS INCORRECT

    • bluekissess

      I totally agree. The only way to know if he’s ready is if you ask him.

    • GM_I

      EXACTLY!!! And a womans judgement is generally wrong 90% of the time, thats why most are in the messed p ituations they’re in now lol

  • bluekissess

    The only way to know that answer is if you ask men who are parents. I hope this list isn’t coming from a womens perspective