By Jen Anderson
When I started seeing my husband, aka the first guy I wasn’t embarrassed to tell my therapist about, I was gobsmacked to realize how much I hadn’t known about dating before then.
In fact, I’d been going about being single all wrong. I didn’t have very much fun at it, which is depressing since I didn’t pair up until my 30s. Besides, so much luck was involved in my finding my match that there are probably more alternate universes where I’m still living solo than where I’m married.
I realize that my past experiences have made me who I am today, but I still wish I could go back in time and have a sisterly chat with poor, clueless, “younger me.” I could’ve written three novels, started a business and hiked the Appalachian Trail with all the wasted time and energy. It’s too late for me, but maybe you can learn from what I wish I knew then.
1. Finding a romantic partner is only one of many goals you can have at once. There’s a difference between making something a priority and having an obsession. No one wants to be the Captain Ahab of the dating world.
2. When you like a guy, and your mutual friends have multiple anecdotes about him projectile vomiting after excessive drinking, you need to rethink the infatuation. You didn’t like it when your godson hurled on you, and he was a toddler.
3. It’s not about getting someone to think you’re good enough for them. It’s about finding someone you can stand to spend a ridiculous amount of time with. It’s about finding the puzzle piece you fit with and the Ernie to your Bert.
4. Work on your gaydar. It’ll make your life much easier.
5. Sometimes boyfriends have little annoying habits. And sometimes they have small behaviors that indicate a complete lack of respect. If you wouldn’t let your friend’s sweetie talk to her that way, don’t put up with it yourself.
Check out the other 5 tips for making your dating life better on YourTango.com.
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