Do men have the same rules in the dating game as women? If so, are men allowed to break those rules, or do certain rules only apply to men?
There are a number of rules people play by and get played by in the game of dating and courtship. For instance; wait three days to call after a date, don’t rush things, pay attention to red flags, so on and so on. These three rules apply to both men and women when it comes to dating, however, there is one recent rule that has surfaced that applies strictly to women…or does it.
The infamous ’90 Day’ Rule. This rule encourages women to hold off on giving a man any benefits, particularly sexual benefits, for ninety days. This is a pretty straight forward and common sense rule for most women; in fact a substantial amount of women apply this rule very well in their dating lives. But does this rule apply to men too?Should it apply to them? The answer: absolutely.
There are so many benefits for men waiting to have sex with women, and there are benefits for the women who date men who are willing to wait for sex. One benefit is that a man can get to know a woman for who she really is, and be attracted to the beauty that lies within her. It’ll also give him time to see if he wants to be strictly friends with her or if he wants to pursue a relationship with her that will serve a purpose without the sex factor clouding his judgment.
Another benefit of men applying the 90 Day Rule to their dating lives is the prevention of unwanted, or unexpected pregnancies that may come with a lifetime of unnecessary drama. Now let’s not get things twisted, children are a blessing, but without taking the time to get to know someone before having sex with them, then realizing you made a mistake in sleeping with them and ‘slipping up’ may make you resentful towards the child who didn’t ask to be conceived, and deserves two nurturing parents who are on the same path and page.
Without taking the proper steps in getting to know someone first, you won’t know if you are on the same path and the same page; all you’ll know is the feeling of sexual gratification…maybe. For women, a man who is willing to wait to have sex means that he values you for who you are as a person, and does not view you as just a sexual being. It also shows that he is sexually responsible, and he has set standards for himself. Before having sex with a woman, a man should think about his long-term intentions with her, rather than seizing the short-term moment of physical gratification, because short-term moments can breed long-term effects.
If men decide to start applying the 90 Day Rule to their dating lives, it shouldn’t just be limited to sexual benefits, but it should also be applied to other major and some minor benefits, i.e. lavish dinners on the first date, elaborate gifts before six months, calling a woman more than twice a day, etc. If men held out on giving a woman any type of benefit other than the benefit of getting to know him for who he is rather than what he has, it will reveal the woman’s true intentions for being with him. This is not to say that a man should not work at getting and keeping a woman’s attention, but his focus for getting and keeping a woman’s attention should be to keep her focus on who he truly is.
While the 90 Day Rule is a simplistic rule of common sense for women, it should also be a simplistic rule of common sense that applies to men as well, because a man’s body should be valued and treasured the same as a woman’s. If the 90 Day rule does not apply to men, it creates yet another entity to the double standards of dating that says men are allowed to do certain things, but women aren’t. And if this cycle continues then both men and women will continue to lose at the game of dating. Men who decide to wait to have sex are aware of their bodies, and the responsibility they hold with the jewels they possess that help spring forth life and replenish the earth. They are conscious of the purpose for having sex, they value the intimacy that sex can bring, and they hold that responsibility near and dear to their heads and hearts. Ladies, let’s support those men who are willing to wait for sex by learning how to withhold sex from them and start building meaningful relationships.
Should the 90 Day Rule apply to men? Would you date a man who was withholding sex?
Liz Lampkin is the Author of Are You a Reflection of the Man You Pray For? Follow her on Twitter @Liz_Lampkin
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