My Father was 14 when I was born and he always told me he did the best he could at the time and I’m grateful for his honesty. He and I spent lots of time together when I was young up into my teenage years when I started to dislike like his choice of women. He was always very affectionate with me lots of hugs and kisses and til this day he never ends a conversation with me without saying “I love you boo”. He didn’t spoil me but he never says no if I ask for something. I have friends who were spoiled by their fathers and they too have a lot these issues in the article because they feel as though men owe them something and act like little girls whining and crying all the time in relationships. On the other hand I have friends who did not have fathers and they find it very hard to trust men or always pick men who treats them badly. I think the father daughter relationship is a very delicate one because ultimately you father will shape your views on men for a life time. I pretty much have only had 3 serious relationships in my life time at 27 yrs old but all three of those men respected me, showed me love and affection, and were honest with me because I look for men who will treat me the way my father did. My Fiance now reminds me so much of my father because of his affection, providing nature and his honesty. I thank my dad for shaping my views on men because I was able to find the love of my life.

A lot of the “crazy black woman” stigma comes from black women having daddy issues. the insecurities, the jealousy issues, the choosing the wrong partners/fathers of our kids can all be traced back to having father issues. It is something that is looked over and not recognized as a real problem. Part of the reason is because most people think that once you hit 18 the adult button erases all childhood issues and everyone should get over whatever haunted them as children. Its not that easy at all. All of these “crazy” adults are really just wounded big children. Therapy is not embraced within the Black community. And I’m not talking about “church therapy”. Many of us need mental counseling from an outside, non-biased source that help clear up the mental hiccups that formed when were children. Hats off to all of the Black men who cherish their daughters. Those daughters are lucky and blessed because the true love of a real father is priceless and will benefit them for the rest of their lives. Just ask women like Michelle Obama. To my fellow women with father issues, don’t worry ladies. Its harder for us but there are books, counseling and prayer that will get us through.

i know….a LOT of women like this. : (

Don’t forget number seven: Trying too hard to please. Sometimes women that try to hard to please, or even as a child to “fit in”, has daddy issues, because they never feel that they are good enough and fear that if they don’t put their ALL and then some into a relationship, that they will be “abandoned” or overlooked.

there most definitely a difference between a father being loving and caring from not there at all. i’ll use a friend of mines as an example. her real father was never around. she doesn’t even know him. her mother married another man and he took the role of being a father. she is strong-minded, respects herself, and seems to have high self-esteem. another friend i know she had the type of father that came around here and there reminding her he was a father until he finally died when she was in her early teens. she is not sure of herself, attracts the wrong kind of guys (abusive physically and mentally), and her self-esteem is not in tact. so having a loving father around and especially in the household is a big , BIG difference from not having one .