New Rule: If You’re Not My Boyfriend, We’re Not Having Sex
That’s right. Clank, clank on the poonanny. You’ve decided enough is enough and no one is getting the goods unless he’s your monogamous partner. The benefits of sleeping with one person are tremendous. Not only does it allows greater anticipation when you do have a boyfriend, but opens the door to more creative sexual practices, security against unwanted diseases and a stronger sense of intimacy. The trick is cutting off all the men that are not privy to your “new rule”.
The first thing you want to do is make sure you want to abstain from sex for a monogamous relationship. It’s always easy to waver and give in when you’re not solid on your principles. Professor Bella DePaulo of UC Santa Barbara suggests the singles know what they’re getting into before they make the change. “Acknowledge to yourself how you would most like to lead your life, and then pursue that path that is most meaningful to you. Secondarily, if you are up for it, I hope you will admit to the life that works for you,” DePaulo told Psychology Today.
If for religious conviction, have a method to be encouraged. Prayer, meditation and counseling from fellow church members are great ways to remain focused.
Once you’ve decided to make the move and are strong in your principals get ready for the wave of temptation. Explain to your old loves what the deal is. Be frank. The real test of a relationship is if a man’s still willing to stay–knowing sex won’t be had.
The other option to is to make tons of excuses and avoid men only interested in sex. Our favorite excuse: “I have guests in town. So we can’t do anything here and I can’t leave them. Sorry!”
The last and most important thing is to understand how long you may have to go without. This period in your life should make you more aware of things that please you, beyond the sexual. It will also complicate your relationships less and build a stronger connection with your future mate.