Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow: Will I Lose My Femininity With My Hair Length?

June 18th, 2012 - By Toya Sharee

VissaStudios.com

Somewhere in between a Velvet Remi full sew-in with red highlights and a head full of jet black Bohemian Kinky Curl, for ten minutes I contemplated taking it all off, leaving my hair very short.  Not just my weave (everyone knows that my mantra is, “All I need in this world of sin, is me and my sew-in”) but my natural auburn shoulder length hair as well. And by short I didn’t mean Halle Berry or Nia Long-short. I was talking little to no hair. I mean, if Amber Rose could do it, why couldn’t I? I’ll tell you why: Because I am a member of the Tyra Banks Five Head Club and had absolutely zero faith that I could pull off that look with the confidence that my cute face would make up for my “high hairline.” I was also bothered by the fact that my man might feel some type of way if he reached to touch my head and felt something that was similar to his own.

Every woman can admit to coming to a point of defeat after weighing her options of weave vs. wash vs. curl vs. braids vs. locs before wondering, “What if I just shaved it all off?”  But few of us actually make the final cut. I‘ve always admired women like Chrisette Michele, Erykah Badu and even Willow Smith whose beautiful faces emerged from behind long locks with confident cool. Even Cassie’s partially shaven do was edgy, but before I could commit to it I wondered, “What about when I need to pull my hair up into a ponytail?” Shaving my head will probably remain a figment of my imagined edginess because I can admit that I attach much of my femininity and style to my crowning glory.  As beautiful as I feel my face is, I attribute half of that beauty to a flattering hairstyle.

Fortunately, I was able to live vicariously through a friend. We’ll call her Katrina.  On March 12, she posted a Facebook pic of herself wearing a short cropped fade which simply read, “My new look.”  She had publicly debated for weeks between box braids or a simple wash and curl. On one occasion she gave all her Facebook friends an inside look into her husband’s thoughts on beauty, writing:

“My husband asked me last night why don’t I cut my hair short. I told him bc I wear alot of sweats, t’s, & sneakers, & I don’t want him to feel like I’m not being lady like. He said, ‘I wouldn’t care, as long as we don’t have the same/similiar cut.’— He made my heart smile. l’ve been contemplating either cutting my hair short or starting dreads for awhile. Without knowing it he gave me a little more confidence & courage to go for it.”

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  • deb

    shorter hair can fit anyone because as with almost any other hairstyle, you’ve gotta make it FLATTER your face. For women with twa’s in particular, afro hair draws up the futures and is naturally flattering and i’ve seen that a tapered twa is flattering on almost anyone.

    Now now everyone can rock bald hair and look like it fits them. Either way, it should not stop ANYONE from rocking bald or short hair. Live for you, don’t live to please other people. I can’t stand when some people act like only “beautiful” people can rock a hairstyle…anyone can and should. Some might just look better to others but always remember that there’s noone like you and YOU are beautiful~

  • http://twitter.com/reeceecup reeceecup™

    I made the big chop about 10 years ago, and I love it! it’s not for everyone, but it works for me

  • Corey

    A womans hair, no matter the length, is her covering-her glory. It’s amazing the woman that axe all their hair off seem to go big on accessories.

  • Pingback: Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow: Will I Lose My Femininity With My Hair Length? | 93.1 WZAK

  • easybreezysag

    I absolutely love my brush cut!! Easy maintenance, low cost and I can swim and workout and not care about my hair puffing up. I have been rocking my hair short for years but switch it up with hair coloring and various lengths (now I have a curly top). People love me with short hair but you definitely have to be confident in your own right. For those considering the big chop, just go for it. Hair always grows back, and if you don’t like it, there are always wigs!!

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/2SPEKPPLAG5CJCDSCXMDSH2AOM Likewaterforchocolate

    It really depends on the shape of the head, face and facial features. I have seen women who have sahved their heads completely bald and still look feminine because their facial features are soft and feminine and I have seen women cut all of their hair off who really look like masculine due to the arrangement of their features. I have noticed that women with a rounder face with full nose/lips and smaller eyes look more feminine than women with larger eyes and oval face and full/nose lips. imo

  • Hrdblkman

    I personally like women with long hair

  • cocochanel31

    Funny at the people saying men ONLY like long hair..I got THE MOST COMPLIMENTS from men when my hair was very short..men wanting to rub and touch my hair…telling me how I was “workin” my short hair and just overall gave me the MOST compliments..so ladies dont believe that lie…different strokes for different folks!

  • ATF

    I personally believe that hair is hair! I love having short hair..in fact I I keep my hair short. I don’t mind mixing it up and playing with weaves to add color or length…it isn’t about how long your hair is but the person on the inside. If you are confident and hold an esteem to yourself then your true beauty will definitely show!

  • Princess

    After I had my baby and went through serious relationship emotional trauma, I felt liberated as a woman and as a mother. I didn’t need to prove nothing to no one. I was secure in my own beauty that I went for the big chop, I never felt more beautiful! I truely felt like I was unique and powerful in that exotic flower sort of way. To my surprise I went to this cookout and many of the young men wanted to talk to me. It’s something you have to really be ready for and not just because for fashion or a trend. I love my bald head. Just get yourself so nice earrings and makeup and go bout your business.

    • status quo

      I’ve been rocking my short natural hair for about 2 months and I love it because I don’t have to run in the hair salon every 2 weeks. Going to the salon every two wks cost me about 60 to wash and treat and to relax is about 100 plus dollars and that ish adds up. It took a while getting use to it because my hair had been relaxed for 22 years. my face is round so I concur with princess. Get yourself a nice pair of earrings and glossy lipstick and keep it moving.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_JAI4SRENU2A5WKRTELXXYJPDSI Kayla

    It all depends on the shape of your head. and your facial features. But if you think you can pull it off then why not. Not everyone can pull it off I remember when Amber Rose came on the scene, suddenly I saw alot of woman with shaved blonde hair. It wasn’t cute at all. If I’m not mistaken there is a program where you can change your hairstyle, take a picture of yourself and see what styles suit you.. Try that. But if you don’t have the type of hair that grows fast. You better be darn sure, this what you want.

  • ItsMineISpendIt

    Short hair is not cute.That’s why brothas like other races because they have beautiful long REAL hair.

    • Ms. Blue

      I agree. I have had both long and short hair. And each time I cut my hair I have several men come up to me and ask me why the heck I did it. Long hair really is more feminine and girly. It adds to a woman’s beauty.

      • http://profile.yahoo.com/2SPEKPPLAG5CJCDSCXMDSH2AOM Likewaterforchocolate

        Did you stop to think that maybe that only applies to you? Maybe you don’t have the facial features for short hair. I dated a guy who claimed to only like women with long hair, but I had my hair in a short style and he liked it and me. You may just have strong features that are not overly feminine. You make the generalization that we are ALL more beautiful with long hair and there are some who look better with short hair (Halle Berry) because they have the face to pull it off. If men are asking you that, maybe you don’t have facial features that they can appreciate.

    • Papillon

      Those types of black men 99% of the time aren’t worth two sh*ts anyway. Good riddance to them.

    • It’sYouYou’reStupid

      Who cares what “brothas” like because I don’t like them either. My white husband loves my short nappy hair.

    • Margarita

      @ the haters thinking short hair isnt cute that’s funny of you to say look at amber rose her hair is short any guy who feel that you get attention for long hair is a retard

  • Annons

    Low hair is not meant for every woman, it depends on your shape of head and features. Some women, it brings out their beautiful features, for some, they need hair to compliment their face. But, I will most of the black women I’ve seen rocking fade, low hair looked absolutely gorgeous. For example, Solange looked way better with low hair than when she wears those weaves/wigs. Beyonce will look awkward, because she has big ears, and her head might be too big. So, it depends.

  • sabrina

    I commend every and any one confident enough to rock that close shave haircut. Even having my hair up to my shoulder makes me feel a bit insecure and not-so-attractive. But that’s just my own deep-rooted insecurities.
    You all are applauded.

  • cocochanel31

    I meant all of my friends who do rock weave..everyone ..has a weave nowadays..as I’ve gotten older I’ve decided I don’t want to look like everyone else..however…I’m not knockig those that do rock the weave and who rocki it well. Just not for me!

  • cocochanel31

    To each his own! I’ve alwaaays admired the short natural looks..Chrisette Michelle and E Badu are drop dead gorgeous wout hair IMO and just prove beauty is in the eye of the beholder! I grapple with shaving all of my hair down to a short natural as well..it just seems like such a carefree life! I have never rocked a weave and am frankly scared to bc all of my friends who don’t wear weave are addicted to them and feel ugly without them sad to say, so I’m not even tryna go down that road…singing I am Not My Hair by India Arie loudly!