He Might Put A Ring On It, But Would You? 7 Signs Your Guy Isn’t Marriage Material

June 18th, 2012 - By Jazmine Denise Rogers

wcbhnewsdetroit.com

I sometimes have to hold in my giggle when I hear my pastor going off over the pulpit about certain marital problems that are usually pretty apparent well before a couple says “I do.” It’s not that I find someone else’s marital plight humorous, but what I do find funny is how foolish we can be as women sometimes. Many of us are in a rush to race a man down the aisle or prove that we are “wife material” without ever stopping to ask ourselves if the guy that we are praying, hoping, and wishing will pop the question is husband material himself.

I always used to hear more experienced women say, “Child, you better choose carefully, because what you want at 20 ain’t what you want at 30 and what you want at 30 damn sure ain’t gonna be what you want at 40!” Always bewildered by this statement I’d think to myself, “Gosh, lasting marriages are a thing of the past, I guess.” As I began to mature though, I began to realize that what they were really implying was that when you are accepting male callers with the aspiration of one day jumping the broom, you should accept applications carefully. But, how? Where’s the blueprint for choosing a spouse? Call me old-fashioned, but when troubled by this question I often reference the Bible. Whether you believe in God or not, it sets some pretty standard precedents for what a good husband potentially looks like. In a perfect world, every male would be born with instincts that automatically instruct him on how to be a good husband (especially considering the ridiculous male to female ratio on this planet). But, since we don’t live in a world anywhere near perfect, you might want to check out some of these red flags to see whether or not your guy is marriage material before he pops the big question in the future.

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  • TheTruth

    i agree with “if he doesn’t support you”. with the the last guy i dated whenever i told him a story he would always take the other person’s side & defend them even if he didn’t know the person. it really pissed me off!!! because i want a man who is gonna be on my team and on my side and support me & my view & my perspective and say “i feel you baby i got your back no matter what”

  • NarutoFriendOmoi

    Yay! I pass all of these precedents! I am a handsone sbm ready to get married! I hope this site does one on women who aren’t wifey material. Would teach young men, what to look for and what to shirk.

  • Harry

    I mean no disrespect to either the owner of the site or the person that wrote this article, let’s get that straight ;)

    I am a guy, when I look at these points I think ‘duh’. All points come down to the simple one ‘He has to respect you’. I personally would consider it disrespectful to cheat, ignore her, be selfish, be lazy or anything like that! If a man truly respects and loves a woman, you can see it in his behavior. Does he do anything that falls outside of that? He doesn’t respect you (enough).
    If he doesn’t respect you, he ain’t even (boy)friend material..

    I got a job, I study, I make sure I make enough time for my girlfriend and to support her. If she is sad I will try to cheer her up, if i wake up earlier than she does I get started on making breakfast for us and the list goes on. All of this, I don’t do it in the hope of reciprocation, I do it out of (self)respect and love.

    One thing I missed in this thing, trust. If he doesn’t trust you (goes through your phone, email) or you don’t trust him, that doesn’t bode well. i told my lady she can ask me anything and in return she is an open book too. If you know each other you know where to quit, if I ever need to know something about her I know she will tell me, that way I am not curious, answer is right there.

    • keitha

      this is such an awesome point, we need more men like you around :)

  • http://www.facebook.com/APeachJ Ashley Jones

    I really like this list but you forgot one very important thing: A man who does not know how to show love or affection. One of the things my pastor talked about in church on yesterday is that a good man, a man after God’s own heart, knows how to show his love! A man doesn’t have to walk around screaming at the top of his lungs or shower me with gifts but he must be able to show me that he can love me and our children!!!!

  • kboo

    You forgot men with mommy issues.

    • WHOISBSQUARED?

      PREACH?!

  • 1st Lady

    Everybody has issues..the difference is does each other want to change for the betterment of having a “Loving Relationship” with your individual self and significant other.

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/TUEXVVHBFHYJ5T36VNTAD3PYTQ Cool Breeze

    Signs Your Woman Isn’t Marriage Material

    1) She’s selfish
    2) Controlling
    3) Combative
    4) Condescending
    5) Has daddy issues
    6) Has Children out of Wedlock that are not yours
    7) Dangerously religious
    8) Too independent
    9) Adheres to feminism
    10) Reads websites like this

    • Dont Worry, Be Happy

      Tell them why you’re mad, son :)

    • http://www.facebook.com/lashonda.johnson.92 Shonda Johnson

      @yahoo-TUEXVVHBFHYJ5T36VNTAD3PYTQ:disqus That’s nice to know,but if you don’t like Madame Noire,then why post hateful comment about women? You sound stupid,childish,and ignorant. Get a life and a girlfriend.

      • shayna

        He obviously has women issues.. probably on the DL

        • http://profile.yahoo.com/TUEXVVHBFHYJ5T36VNTAD3PYTQ Cool Breeze

          You would know

      • http://profile.yahoo.com/TUEXVVHBFHYJ5T36VNTAD3PYTQ Cool Breeze

        I didn’t demand u read my comment. Get lost.

        • http://www.facebook.com/lashonda.johnson.92 Shonda Johnson

          @yahoo-TUEXVVHBFHYJ5T36VNTAD3PYTQ:disqus Apparently you did because you replied. You sound like you are gay…..

    • FromUR2UB

      Apparently, you read web sites like this too. Why don’t some of you men just admit that you dislike women and call it a day?

    • Annelli

      And you know what? These are the types of women men end up marrying and why? B/c many of them love hoes. A decent women is considered too “nice” or boring….they like the drama of having to “tame” a wild woman.

    • JustSaying

      I would consider this a woman’s website, so I have to ask why are you up here?

    • oh hush

      Stop defending that you dont make the cut

    • oh hush

      Stop defending that you dont make the cut

    • bigdawgman

      Aw bruh, you had me until that last one. The article had valid points. You should have submitted 1-9 as a future article for men.

    • bigdawgman

      Aw bruh, you had me until that last one. The article had valid points. You should have submitted 1-9 as a future article for men.

    • k

      As a woman I totally agree with 1-9 of this list. The article itself is like “duh” as a woman you should already know this. If your a woman and had a ahaaa moment while reading this you will always be single cause you have no damn common sense. SMH

    • she

      find your comments funny lol

    • NarutoFriendOmoi

      As a handsome educated sbm, I agree with your list except “Too Independent.” You need to listen to the lyrics of Neyo’s “Ms. Independent.” The thing is that with Independent women, you can be certain that they don’t want you for your money. Which is a big plus in my book. :)

    • Natasha

      Oh wow……Don’t forget some of these same dudes commenting have daddy and mommy issues. This is why they have become the narcisstic bigots they are today.

      • Rhonda Chambers

        Word. Only a man with Mommy issues would be sitting on a site for black women commenting everyday and also blasting black women daily on other sites. These men think are so special but are really even more screwed than the women they claim to hate.