How Did Black Women Become the Villians?

June 13th, 2012 - By madamenoire

Source: thegrio.com

From thegrio.com

By Kirsten West Savali

There is an epidemic in the African-American community that extends into our homes, relationships and throughout our religious institutions. That illness is the apathy towards abuse against our women and children by grown men who assert their physical power to physically and psychologically assault them.

This illness, in high definition in the recent case of Pastor Creflo A. Dollar, ranges from Stage 1, which is blind tolerance, all the way to the aggressive Stage 4, which is conscious support.  What becomes evident upon close examination is that many of us have taken three things from the Antebellum South and Civil Rights eras: The word “N***a,” Jesus, and the acceptance of physical abuse as a way of corrective punishment.

Let’s be clear: This is not an attack on the church at-large. To make such a narrow indictment would do the topic of ingrained abuse a grave injustice.  This goes deeper even than patriarchy. Because though that ugly word lies at the root of domestic violence around the globe and pre-dates this nation by hundreds of years, what we’re talking about is the fatal cocktail of gender, race and class that leaves black women disproportionately curled up into self-defensive balls in dark corners, and as Creflo’s 15-year-old stated in the 911 call, “scared” and not knowing “what to do.”

Read more about victim blaming in the black community at thegrio.com

 

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  • Nisa

    This article and author are totally wreckless! Was this actually written by a profession journalist or just someone who writes down their random thoughts and they shares the nonsense with the rest of word in a format that looks as though they actually made a point?! Really MN – you must improve your content!

  • http://profiles.yahoo.com/u/V6O2EBOSDDIC3EESW3JS22OYWA Vic

    The people who are MOST to blame are white.

  • FromUR2UB

    This kind of commentary is an example of a mile long conclusion drawn from a few feet of information. It’s absolutely black and white, with no room for gray areas. It speaks as though we were all present at the event and have firsthand knowledge of all the details and circumstances, and regardless of what those are, the conclusion is the same. All I know of Creflo Dollar is what I’ve seen of him on his broadcasts. He’s a very rich pastor, and I have my opinions on that. But, I have no idea of the type of man he is in his home. Conflicts between parents and teenagers are nothing new. I don’t think we have enough information to label him an abusive man, yet. What I do know of abusive men, is that they’re usually ruled by some emotional problems, and they have a “radar” for the type of women who accept abuse. They’re psycho. But, for every man who has been accused of abuse, it’s irresponsible to determine that it’s always a cut and dried case and he’s guilty as accused. The result gives people who are typically perceived as victims, license to abuse others. There are times when a person, who is perceived as more powerful, must ward off the attack of an aggressor who appears to be the weaker of the two. It shouldn’t be acceptable for person to instigate or pursue an altercation, then fall back on “victim” status after it doesn’t turn out well. People who want to be fair shouldn’t be so willing to dismiss any evidence of that. I’m thinking of two other cases that have made news, as I say that.

    • Guest1234

      But you DO know what kind of man he is at home. He’s a man who beats and chokes his little girl. It’s okay to draw conclusions from that fact. You can be afraid to judge if you want. But do you really want to be a person with poor judgment? Watch yo’ kids if you think this is okay for a father to do.

    • Guest1234

      But you DO know what kind of man he is at home. He’s a man who beats and chokes his little girl. It’s okay to draw conclusions from that fact. You can be afraid to judge if you want. But do you really want to be a person with poor judgment? Watch yo’ kids if you think this is okay for a father to do.

      • FromUR2UB

        I don’t know that, you don’t know that, and even the police don’t know it. All you’re going by is what you’ve heard, with no evidence to back it. That is poor judgment.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jonna-Brusseau/1851851345 Jonna Brusseau

    One has to wonder whether or not the author has a teenage daughter. And more importantly, she was not there that night and has NO CLUE what went on in the Dollar household. I have seen so much hatred towards Creflo on this site that it is ,quite frankly, disturbing. Most people have the benefit of going through private family issues out of the public eye. No Creflo is not a perfect parent(no one is). Now to get biblical on Y’all. ” HE WHO HAS HAS NOT SINNED (had fights with their teenagers) CAST THE FIRST STONE.”

  • Marco

    Wait a minute, are we discussing abuse or “how did the black women become the villains??

  • mIN

    WOW….Reading these comments has me convinced that Black people are crazy! And I’m Black – i’ve never heard so many in defense of violence against young teenage Black girls in my life! This is sad…

  • http://twitter.com/NewNaturalSista High GrAdE KarMa

    This a pointless article. Yea I do agree that black people do take beating for correction, the word N*gga, and church from the old south (but dont act like God has not been good to you) that still does not give a valid reason to why this girl wanted to go out and party at 1 am!!. Creflo did the right thing he was just protecting his daughter. Corpol punishment is better than being somewhere dead because of a good time at a party that started at 1 am knowing that you only 15!! smh!!! The same people that be screaming “dont beat your kids” are the same people that is going to be mad when them same kids break in your house and leave you dead.

  • No comment

    I think some people are going to the left with this case and turning it into something its not. I am a black woman and I support black women. I have supported black men who have fallen short and black women. Just because I still like Chris Brown or R Kelly’s music does NOT means I co sign their actions it just means I believe in 2nd chances as far as Chris goes. R Kelly told us yrs ago little cute Aaliyah’s got it so he told us then what he liked (not saying its right just saying). I do not nor have I ever co signed abuse towards women or men in anyway shape or form. Same with Creflo Dollar. I heard somebody say on another blog that black women excuse the behavior by saying “we were not there” well we were NOT, that still doesn’t mean I am saying what Dollar is accused of doing is right that is stating a fact. I think something went down but to what extinct I don’t know. If she was choked and punched I would think more bruises would be visible. In gen do I think its ok for a father to choke or punch is daughter NO but do I believe in jacking up a child when they get out of hand I sure do and I agree you have to start when the child is younger and not wait until the teen yrs to lay down the law. I also believe in communication and talking to your child.I pray the situation is resolved and they can heal as a family.

    • Nope

      Did you cosign Rihanna for putting hands on Chris (first) while he was driving?

  • maliksmama

    I agree with you to a certain extent. There is abuse of black women in the black community that black people don’t acknowledge. I’m talking about sexual, mental and physical. The reason it’s acceptable is because black women accept it. For example. When allegations of pedophilia were made against R Kelly, black women came to his defense in droves; even after viewing the video. More black women support him than black men. The reason they give is, the girl is a “pro”. As long as black women embrace the perpetrators and shun the victims, then no one will come to the aid of the abused black woman.

    Now on to Creflo “Getcho” Dollar. The daughter’s story is partially true. The fact that she’s up at 1am arguing with her father about going to a party that he’d already told her she wasn’t going to, means I’m on his side. On one hand, he set the stage years ago, by allowing her to dictate to him how she’s going to live her life. Now that she’s older, he want’s to put the brakes on. It’s too late. This girl has made up her mind that she’s going to live off his dollar and do whatever the heck she wants. If I were him, I’d tell her she has to move out. She wouldn’t be able to come back to my house. If I were him, I’d help her become emancipated. That way she can do what she wants, when she wants, and foot the bill herself. He’s not going to put her out. He’s going to stroke out trying to “save” her.

    I’m sorry. This may seem harsh. But, this is my house. My rules are established for my house. You don’t like it. Leave. I’ve told my son the same thing. If you want to do what you want to do, move.

    • DeepThinker

      Totally agree!
      Also, Jaycee Dugard and Elizabeth Smart were with their abusers for years, and no one questioned why they did not escape sooner or if they were a willing participant. These girls were not subjected to harsh judgement by society either. However, with the R. Kelly situation, the underage girl was humiliated into becoming a recluse. Nobody in her community tried to protect her. However, the AA community still embraces R. Kelly, a pastor reached out to him and he was even allowed to participate in a major children’s parade in Chicago.
      The demand for respect of young black girls and women needs to start with us. Black women take so much off of black men which is one of the many reasons they do not appreciate or respect us. You will never see a Lil Wayne of country music or heavy metal, because the white men would never accept that foolery.

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