Dear Gay Best Friend,
Eight months ago I began dating the boy, because he is far from a man, that I absolutely loved in high school. His friends were my friends and they decided to hook us up. We never went on an official date, never had the honeymoon phase of the “relationship,” and I never understood that those were stages that most people had when beginning a relationship because I’d never had a “real” one without cheating.
Time rolls by, he would call every Saturday, and I liked that. We both worked throughout the week, so I didn’t mind him not calling or text throughout. When we hit the “relationship” stage I had to ask if we were a couple. When Friday night came around I would have to ask did he want to do anything with me.
Now, let me describe him for you. He was thirty years old. He lived at home with his mama. I could understand that because I live at home too because of student loans. But, he lived at home because his ex put him out. I didn’t know the story at the time and continued to TRY to see the good in him when I found out.
He did not have a car!!! I thought it was because of his wreck he had, which turned out to be a DUI and he had a suspended license. I still stayed.
He was a horrible boyfriend! We never went out period, unless drinking was involved. I would text him, no reply. Then I would stop texting he would say, “What’s wrong with you, haven’t heard from you in a while.” I got to the point where I started cheating, I didn’t sleep with any of them, and doing things alone or with other people, then he would call and text a billion times “What you doing?” I would tell him the truth, because I would ask him first to do the things with me.
I stopped cheating on him and about the fourth month we began to have sex. Can you say, WTH!!!! I thought it was my fault that the sex was bad, but um…no! I still stayed because when we did see each other, (sometimes once a week even a month and we stayed five minutes away from each other) we would be great. He started off saying he loved me and I was a deer in head lights. I would say it back but not mean it in that type of way. My family was going through deaths and sickness, and you would think you could call and rely on your man. Child please!!!. He would be fishing and playing basketball with his friends.
To sum all this nonsense up: He was broke. Never spent time with me unless we were drinking, always with his friends, and when I say always I mean 6 days out the week, you knew it rained the seventh day because he would be at home. He drunk too much, lied about what days he worked and didn’t work.
I finally woke up the eighth month and give him a list of choices, and when I say list I mean typed and copied and handed it to him. Choice one: Break up. Choice two: Get serious about us. Choice three: Stay the way we are and I will cheat and you don’t get that privilege because you are happy being unhappy. He decided to stop speaking to me. Meaning he cussed and fussed to his friends and completely avoided me. My friend said I had the right to do it but I need to sit down and talk with him to see if we could work it out. I think she’s dumb because she’s taking care of a sorry nergo and always crying.
My question to you, am I wrong for caring about myself and giving him ultimatums or was I wrong and seemed selfish and not caring about the “relationship” and his nonexistent feelings. -Ms. I Come First
Check out what Terrence Dean, a.k.a., the gay best friend has to say about her decision at HelloBeautiful.com.
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