I didn’t make it to the end of the “Couple’s Therapy” series on VH1 but anyone who saw just a tiny bit of the show or knew anything about DMX and his relationship with Tashera Simmons figured a divorce was long overdo for the couple—everyone except DMX that is. During the season finale, Tashera shocked her cheating rapper husband of 14 years by telling him she wanted a divorce and now months later she’s speaking to Essence about her decision and what brought her to this place.
One thing that sticks out in Tashera’s interview is despite all of the affairs, illegitimate children, and drug abuse she’s suffered through with DMX over the years, she’s still not totally, 100 percent sure this is what she wants to do. When the magazine asked her if she’s officially decided to file for divorce, she told them:
“Yes and no. There’s so much to be decided on, so we’re actually in the process of filling now. Our lawyers want to give us advice. On the show, he was really stunned, and he couldn’t believe it. I don’t know why. After going through all the stuff we did — after he did all the things he has done and after us going through therapy — I was just like, I couldn’t leave [the show] without asking for a divorce.”
Essence asked Tashera how she feels about taking the bold leap to legally dissolve their relationship and how she thinks she and X ended up in the place they’re in today and she told them:
“I felt like it was time. I’m [about] self-empowerment now, and I was so totally over the situation. I want to help other women, so I knew I needed to put my relationship on Front Street so they could see what I was dealing with, and what I chose to do.
“To be honest with you, I’m not perfect. But overall, when I really look back, I wouldn’t change a thing. As far as when you say ‘mistakes’ in our marriage, I know that the mistake I made, as a woman, was that I sacrificed too much of myself in that relationship. I just felt like it went unnoticed. But I would do it again because me and X started when we were 18 years old, so it’s really like we have 24 years together. I learned so much [from] my journey with him, so I wouldn’t change that. I’m definitely open to dating and new beginnings. I just feel that next time I will definitely know my self worth, and I would never sacrifice so much of myself again. I was so young. X and I met when we were 11. I didn’t know anything else. But, as a grown woman now, shame on me if I ever do that again. “
Amen to that. Tashera had some advice for other women who could find themselves in her position as well:
“I would definitely tell them to make sure they stand for what they believe in and what they want for themselves. They will get sucked in if they don’t. I was young, and I always thought I had a dream about what I wanted in a man, but when you’re young and you don’t really know, you can easily get sucked in.”
Tashera’s also got a pretty good idea of what she wants in a man the next time around:
“Definitely someone who’s not so self-centered,” she said. “I don’t say that in a negative way, but you know, X has a lot of issues. I can speak openly about it now, because, you know, everyone saw Couples Therapy, and they saw how X had a lot of childhood issues. So, I’m looking for somebody where we can meet halfway on everything, and it’s not always about that person…I don’t want someone to lose themselves in me either.”
I can only imagine how DMX is feeling right now but Tashera stuck it out with this man for far longer than most would have been able to. She gave him umpteenth chances to do right by himself and her and he just couldn’t do it. The question is do you think she’ll really go through with the filing?
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