First and foremost, let me say that this story isn’t about my child in particular, but about a niece of mine with a lot of talent and potential. I just thought I would bring this scenario to you guys to get your opinion on it and know what you would do as a parent (as I know many of our readers are mothers).
So during a recent trip to see my family, I had the chance to see almost all of my nieces and nephews. Two of them, twins, my family has been somewhat estranged from because of their mother and her rocky relationship with my brother. They’re both married to different people, but they still don’t get along all these years later. I also had something of an online argument with her and her sisters after one of my nephews other aunts decided to publicly disrespect my brother–his father–via Facebook after HE did the same. After some good time passed, my niece and nephew came to my mother’s home for the first time in years during Thanksgiving and we all got to reconnect. At THAT time, they were talking about their post-high school plans, their sports (which had always been a huge part of their high school career) and what they hoped to study.
Fast forward to graduation time and my visit home in May. As my sister picked up her doctorate, my cousin graduated from high school and talked about going away to a Big 10 University in the fall, and my nephew was asked to play baseball at a Division I school, my niece was the only graduate I knew who didn’t seem to have any after-the-fact plans. When I talked to her father about it all, since she was doing a good job of being MIA after all the festivities, I was quite disturbed to find that she had told him and others that she really didn’t think she was going to go to school. Though she had been accepted to a good school that wanted her to play softball in another state, she didn’t want to go that far because she didn’t know anybody out there…
Always one to stand out and stand on her own, even as a twin, she all of a sudden wasn’t ready to stand completely alone for the sake of her education. It was almost June and she hadn’t said yes or no to any school, and it seemed she was just going to take a break from school altogether. I could understand her reservations about attending a school far away from home, as I was the last child in my family and was somewhat scared about making the decision to go out-of-state for school back in the day. But to have no plans and to say you’re not really feeling the idea of school? C’mon, this is 2012, and in this world and in this tepid economy, NOT going to school these days is unacceptable in my opinion.
And I’m saying it’s not acceptable because I think it’s a wack way of thinking or something like that, but rather, because as a friend would say, these days a bachelor’s degree in SOMETHING is your ticket in the door. At this point, it’s what the high school diploma used to be, and while many would say that a college degree doesn’t guarantee you any kind of job in this shoddy economy, we know that it at least offers you a shot at something and you won’t have your resume immediately put in the “No, thanks” pile. Many fields require a bit more, but a bachelor’s degree is something you should strive to have, whether you’re taking a few classes while working, or if you’re literally in the books full-time solely focused on your studies. If my niece decides to take some time off, that’s fine, but the whole concept of saying, “School’s just not for everybody” is on the nonsense level at this point. It’s for everybody, son. Even if she doesn’t go away, she needs to take her behind to school and not waste too much time waiting to do so. Her parents don’t seem too bothered by her choice at the moment (only time will tell how they’ll act if she’s sitting around on her mother’s couch in the fall), but as her aunt, I’ll say I’m clearly a bit worried. It’s already tough out here, I hope she doesn’t make things for herself much tougher.
So I guess that leads me to my question for you: As a parent, how would you react if your child (or even your niece or nephew as in my case), told you they didn’t want to go to college? No big deal? Or big problem?
More on Madame Noire!
- Ask a Very Smart Brotha Live: Dealing With His Crazy Baby Mother & Can You Get Over Wack Sex?
- The Thrill is Gone: 7 TV Shows That Need To Call It Quits…Like Yesterday
- Giving You The Best That I Got: 7 Signs You Might Be Giving Too Much In Your Relationship
- Where You Been Cherie Johnson?
- Grieving Over a Girlfriend: 7 Ways to Move on After a Break-up…Between Friends
- Why I Think Natural Hair is Indeed a Political Statement
- Well, Hiya To You! Shouting Out Some Of Our Favorite Black Imports From Britain
Pingback: Dealing with a Child who Doesn't Want to go to College | Contemporary Mother