What Do I Do Now? My Fiancé Left Me At The Altar On Our Wedding Day

20 comments
June 7, 2012 ‐ By madamenoire

From Hello Beautiful.com.

Dear Gay Best Friend,

I don’t know where to begin, but I need your advice on where to go from here. So here’s the story.

I have been in a relationship with this man for four years. Two years into the relationship, he proposed marriage which I proudly accepted. However, throughout our relationship I NEVER met anyone face to face, nor via phone from his family — no kids, no friends, no church family. NO ONE! I constantly questioned this, but was always told that since these loved ones lived in another state it was difficult to get them all together. So, I let it go.

Anyway, the wedding planning was taking place quite smoothly, yet there were times when I constantly had to nag him for his list of guests and their addresses. Needless to say that he NEVER came through with a complete list for me. Yet, he told me that all of his guests knew all the pertinent wedding information.

Now, on to the good part. Two days before the wedding, he tells me that his mom (who lives in another state) became very ill and was hospitalized in intensive care. Therefore, he told me that some family members would not be attending the wedding. The very next day, he claimed that there was NO change in his mother’s condition and that more of his family members would not be attending and he was thinking of going to see his mom also. So, I responded with, “I understand your feelings for your mom, but how do we handle all the other guests and family that have traveled for this big day?” Well, the next day comes around, (which is the wedding day), and I get two calls that morning. First, he called and said that his mom took a turn for the worse. Then the second call, (an hour later from the first), he called and said that his mom had die. So, I immediately jumped into action by going to him to console him for his loss and to try to arrange for him to leave at some point that day to meet other family members to handle arrangements for his mom. While all of this is going on, I called around to tell all the other guests the news and that we would be delaying the ceremony for an hour so that the groom could get himself together, and he would be leaving right after the ceremony.

While guests are arriving to the church they find the church locked and no one inside. Out from nowhere the groundskeeper appears and asked why the guests are there? They responded they were there for a wedding. The groundskeeper informs them no wedding was set to take place. After many phone calls back and forth between my guests, the groundskeeper, and my potential groom it was discovered that the groom NEVER asked his pastor to officiate our wedding, nor did he book the church for the wedding. By that time it seemed to me, and others, that he simply DID NOT want to get married, aside from the grief he was suffering from losing his mother, which looked suspect after finding out the truth about the “locked” church. So, it was confirmed two days later that the groom lied about his mother’s death because he wanted to cover up the fact of NOT completing his wedding task as he should have. He claims he failed to do his part of the planning and came up with all these lies because he was scared and afraid that I would leave him for being lazy and procrastinating. I was devastated and humiliated beyond belief that I could have been left at the altar like that. To this day, this man constantly calls and asks for forgiveness and another chance at love with me. But, why would I even want to give him an ounce of my time? Am I being too harsh to someone that I undoubtedly truly did love? Or, should I just admit that I deserve better and let him and his deceitfulness go elsewhere? – The Jilted Bride

Find out what the gay best friend, Terrence Dean, has to say about this at HelloBeautiful.com.

 

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  • JLHsay

    If she takes that douchebag back she’s a GODD*MN FOOL!!! There is NO way I would give one iota of thought to taking his sorry, lying, scheming @ss back! Girl, be glad he’s shown you his TRUE self, so you can MOVE ON.

  • Wow

    You can’t be serious. As soon as I started reading this I knew he was a loser. How can he not introduce you to his family and friends. And he didnt fake his mom’s death to cover up the fact he didnt do his part. he didnt do it becasuse he didn’t want to marry you. His family probably knew nothing about you.

  • Adrina

    Red flags were all over this situation and she failed to see them…or chose not too. God gives us clear signs, and she was foolish. He was too, but I doubt that’s the real reason he stood her up. No one just forget to book the venue for their wedding. Cmon now. He was probably already married or something.

  • LadySASE

    Girl, you dodged a bullet. This is not a problem. YOU ARE FREE, HE IS CRAZY.

  • http://www.facebook.com/barbara.codner Barbara Codner

    Wowww… No words

  • Tagirl

    What? That’s some fraganackle bull right there! This relationship probably shouldn’t have even gotten this far. Too many women put up with foolishness just because they want to have a man. It’s not worth it. It’s hard for me to be in the same room with people I don’t trust let alone a relationship.

  • RedButterfly81

    Um, 4 years, no meeting his family, friends, church folks and even his mommy, a HUGE red flag and she wasn’t his girlfriend to began with. I just met my boyfriend’s family at a barbecue this past Sunday, him and I have been dating for 4 months. I met his friends 2 months into dating him.

  • bunny

    2 words. Background checks

  • FromUR2UB

    Wow. She’s really stupid. I guess she wants to be lied to some more.
    Then, again, maybe they’re right for each other. He lied about his mother dying because he was too cowardly to tell her the truth: that he really didn’t want to get married, and too selfish to consider how someone would feel being stood up on the wedding day. She’s just as bad though, because she was going to postpone the wedding only for an hour, when she believed that the man’s mother had just died. A bit cold, maybe?

    • LightPlease

      Wow! I thought the exact same thing! She is just as stupid as the guy.

  • KamJos

    Being too harsh?!! Not being harsh enough!

  • Kennybongus

    Seems i am hearing ds 4 d first time,dating a guy for 4 solid yrs yet no mother,father or any of his relations known 2 u 2 d extent of going ahead with a wedding plan? Thats uncalled 4 u sold urself to him & he decided 2 toyed not only with ur emotions bt ur life,time & family! Common girl, u sold urself out cheaply, just 4get abt d past & move ahead.

  • Kim Morris

    Oh no girl run as fast as you can from that RACHET PUNK. If he lied about his mom dying he will lie about anything. Like my grandmother use to say, “He ain’t worth used toliet paper.”

  • MLS2698

    Oh yeah, and he didn’t leave you at the alter……you didn’t even make it into the church. ijs

  • MLS2698

    Sing Hallelujah ! Because you dodged a real fool. You need to get a little smarter, too. Never meeting family………..

  • Mitsy

    She’s an idiot!! dating a guy for 4 years and have not met his mom or any of his family members! how ridiculous! I don’t think the red flags could have gotten any more clear. She is the one who chose to stay in this stupid relationship so this is what you get.

  • http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=ntt_athr_dp_sr_1?_encoding=UTF8&search-alias=digital-text&field-author=Peaches%20The%20Writer PeachesTheWriter

    It does not get better from here. Know your self-worth and change all of your numbers, etc. You do not want anyone like that even being able to contact you.

  • Kimster

    Wow. And I thought my ex lying that his supervisor made him take his Facebook account down when really he didn’t want other women finding out he had a girlfriend was bad. Lying about his mother’s death? You don’t speak that kind of thing on people! That is deplorable! Trust. That gut feeling inside saying something’s not right should always be listened to. Always.

  • Smacks_hoes

    What in gods name!?!! I’ve never heard of anyone fake their own moms death!! Girl run as fast as you can and don’t look back this man is obviously a loon!

  • L-Boogie

    Run. Cut your losses. It sounds like a set up from the jump.