Let a Man Be a Man: 10 Things You Can Do By Yourself But Should Ask Your Man To Do

June 11, 2012 ‐ By Alissa Henry



Do you make an effort to make your man feel necessary? Does he feel needed in your relationship?

Some women balk at the idea of “needing” a man to do anything or the idea that they should “help a man feel like a man.” However, there are other women who feel loved and appreciated and want to reciprocate that feeling. These women know a good, spontaneous, well-timed ego stroke goes a long way to mutual happiness in a relationship. Of course, that doesn’t mean a self-sufficient woman should morph into a helpless toddler. That would be disingenuous, but there are times when a woman should consider taking a break from running the relationship and allow her man to handle business.

Ask Men

Let him change your tire/Jump A Dead Battery/Check and refill the oil

When I was 16, my dad taught me how to change a tire. “I will never have to do this,” I told him. “I will always have my phone and therefore, always be able to call someone.” He customarily responded, “You can’t rely on people.” So there, in the middle of a parking lot on a bitterly cold, snowy winter evening, at the direction of my dad, I changed a tire. My dad also taught me how to use jumper cables to jump a dead car battery and how to check/fill my oil if the light came on.

Many women are capable of taking care of their own car troubles, but it doesn’t hurt to let your man feel like the hero while you chill in the car. Especially when it’s cold outside!

MadameNoire Video

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  • Good Stuff

    “You should always be your kindest to your spouse.” What a jewel! Thanks for sharing. That’s great relationship advice.

  • Lisa

    I agree with most things in this article, except the one about letting the guy drive my car.

  • totallywack

    this is great and all, but you’re married to a white guy and a step away from being a housewife. Your disconnected.

    • What makes me “disconnected”? My husband is white (thank you for reading my blog), but I don’t see how that is relevant. And any wife or husband who works is one step from being a housewife/househusband. What’s the step between working and not working? LOL. I don’t get it.

    • KeikoKaveri

      Wait…What does Alissa being married to a man who is not black have to do with the price of tea in China? And she’s a step away from being a housewife? It must be nice to know her life and cut her checks, huh? Oh, and it is *you are disconnected or *you’re disconnected. Good day.

    • I’m married to a black guy and I AM a housewife. This is the way we do it baby. I’m sorry you get stuck with losers. By the way; if the men in your life are all the same, YOU need to change.

  • Janelle

    This is dumb, just be your self, whats the point of going out of my way to ask someone 2 kill a bug when I can just do it myself, I am already there. Times have changed, women need men but not for the things listed in this article.

  • guest

    Am I wrong because I do ALL these things on my own? No matter if a man is around or not I have gotten used to doing these things by my self. Maybe its because the right men can’t handle being around a woman who does all these things on her own but I’m used to being myself and I don’t feel like I should down play that for any man. You wanna make it easier for me? Pay a bill!! LOL J/K

    • JustSayin

      I am fully capable of doing these things on my own as well. BUT! I also want a man that can take care of me and I want the opportunity to take care of him. Therefore that is where these examples come in. It is important to have that balance and make sure your “independence” does not scream…”I Don’t need a man, I can do this on my own.” There is a difference. Great that you have those abilities but it is also great for a man to take initiative to take care of his woman and show that he cares.

    • A man

      And there you go with the money BS. And so basically you are saying, I don’t need a man to do anything for me except pay my bills, and you wonder why you don’t have a man……..stop equating manhood with money.

  • I would’ve thought we all knew to be who we are without all these lists and rules and stuff?

  • NoMatter

    You better he hope he knows how to do these things. The men of yesteryear were equipped and trained to do these things. Today’s men, however, are not. …Yes, both men and women need to go back to the drawing board.

    • The men of today don’t know how because they haven’t (1) been expected to know – their lady is independent or (2) been shown how to do these things by a male mentor. Today’s “independent women” sometimes don’t know how to step back and allow the man to be the man because they are so used to HAVING to do these things alone because (1) she expects her man not to know how or (2) don’t even know how to accept a man doing things for her – it’s foreign to her.

  • Corey

    Great article, we need to revisist this topic often. With the many issues facing our community, we have to start somewhere. This article touches on family oriented matters and we will only be as strong as our men and families. Our family structures have been so torn that men don’t know how to treat women and vise versa. As old fashioned as the article may come off to some, it is full of truth.

    • Native_Noir

      I second this!!!

  • Thisis me

    i can’t stand women that act so “needy” all the time. yea he can cut the lawn and take the trash out but you can pick up a shoe and kill a lil spider you don’t need to over do it

  • blackpepper007

    For a min there, I thought I was reading the 10 Commandments.Well written

  • juliemango

    Lovin this well needed post!!!

  • Tazeypooh02

    What is this 1950? Just be yourself ladies.

    • She Speaks

      I wholeheartedly agree!

    • corey

      I guarantee the black family structure was more stable in 1950 and many of the things this article stated were common place.

    • The year doesn’t matter. The needs never change.

  • msnaimah1985

    Great, great article! I moved into a new apartment last week and it came with a couple of tiny friends aka spiders! After a week I’ve gotten OK with killing them, last night I proudly whacked one and he looked at me kind of sad and said you did it baby all on your own and I had no clue what the look was about. Thanks MN, my big strong man will continue to kill all those spiders from now on!