Boy, Please: 8 Signs You’ll Just Never Be Into Him

June 7, 2012  |  
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Everyone wants to be with someone, so much so that we’ll date all the wrong people: the ex, the bad boy, the friend with benefits that we try to turn into more and, of course, the guy that just doesn’t make us swoon no matter how long we wait. But women will wait a long time because sometimes we’ll do anything to pretend someone “special” is in our life. Stop wasting both your time and his. If any of these items strike a chord with you, you’ll never be fantasizing about this guy late at night in your bed. There’s more fish in the sea, and it’s time to keep looking…

You can’t see yourself sleeping with him
This is a great thing to do on a first date: picture this man lying on top of you naked. How does that make you feel? There isn’t any particular way it should make you feel, but it definitely shouldn’t make you feel uncomfortable, nauseated, embarrassed or suffocated. Even worse, you shouldn’t struggle to conjure up the image at all. Look, if you’re going to be with this guy for more than a short time, sex will likely be a part of your relationship. If you’re not comfortable with that thought, you’ll never be into him.

You let his texts wait
Come on, you know that you have to almost super glue your finger tips together to keep yourself from instantly texting back a guy you like, within mere seconds after he messages you. If you consider texts from a guy a nuisance, if you look at them and think, “I’ll answer that later” without so much as even reading it, and then you forget completely to respond…you’ll probably never be that into him. You don’t just forget to text back a guy you’re actually into. You have to work to put him out of your mind!

You’re still considering other guys
Maybe after just one date or two you could be open to flipping the switch, tossing the guy and accepting a new one. But, honestly, after four or five dates, if you’re still actively and aggressively seeking out new men to meet, you’re just not that taken by this guy. You don’t need to be head over heels for someone after a few dates but, you should at least be distracted enough by them to not still be religiously checking your online dating account.

You’re happy to take things slow
There is nothing wrong with taking things slow. It’s a good idea to take a few days apart in between seeing each other to reflect on things. But, be real: when you’ve been really into guys, you’ve wanted to see them almost every day! Sure, maybe you take a few days apart, but you’re usually anticipating that reunion. If a few days or even a week apart just rush by without you even noticing, don’t lie, you’re not feeling him.

You’re talking to your ex
Want to feel loved, known, and special instantly? Your ex is the perfect quick fix. Text him up and you get those warm, fuzzy feelings right away. If you’re looking for that fix, then you’re obviously not getting it elsewhere (aka the new guy). You need to be real bored/dissatisfied to open up the ex box and go back down THAT road.

You feel like he’s trying too hard
If you think back into your dating history, there are probably guys that were laying it on real thick in the beginning: buying you gifts, planning elaborate dates, texting you super sweet things. And you liked them. The truth is if you’re into a guy, in your eyes there is no such thing as him “trying too hard.” But if he does all that and you find yourself rolling your eyes, then he’s indeed doing too much for you. And you only see things that way if you’re not that into him!

You make excuses for him
If before bringing a guy around friends, you try to “explain” his choice of work, his style, his sense of humor, his looks and everything else about him, you’re probably still trying to sell him to yourself. If you’re into a guy, you see everything about him as great and you have no doubt that others will see it that way. You don’t see his quirks as anything bad that need to be explained. You feel an undeniable charm about him that you assume your friends will feel too.

Even the greatest date isn’t great
If there are no sparks after a gourmet meal cooked by a personal chef on a yacht under the stars, there never will be. If he goes all out and at the end of the day you’re thinking about someone else or would rather be anywhere else than with him, that’s not a good sign. If you’re into a guy, you feel sparks standing in line waiting to buy a pack of gum, or just chilling on his couch cuddled up. When you don’t feel it, you just don’t. Don’t force it, but don’t lead him on either…

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  • Jones

    This is all true, but trust me it gets worse as we get older. I’ve been told enough times that I must be single because I’m an “angry” black woman or my standards are too high. And so I’ve been on countless dates with awkward, self-conscious guys who stare at their feet during the entire date or the obnoxious guy who starts sentences with “I usually don’t bother to date black women, but…” or “I need to see a full body picture of you before I agree to go on a date with you” and “How many guys have you slept with?”

    I guess if deciding these guys just aren’t right for me means that my standards are too high then that says a lot about what you think of me.

  • mysterykills

    Things that made me wonder. Like how is it that you hit it off so well with some, and not with others, despite all their efforts ? Is it in our makeup to attract some and repel others ?

  • billy bob

    Lmfao sad but I’m like this with every guy

  • lis

    Im in this position right now and it suckss

  • Hello Love

    Been there, done that… sadly twice. You know if you have chemistry with a guy or not, and chemistry can’t be forced. I learned this the hard way. Thank God for growth.

    • yeah… i dont wanna meet his family and… i dont want him to meet mine… if that makes me a b33yotch then… so be it.

  • Whitney

    This is so true and hilarious to me, because this applies to my life at the current moment. I’m 24 and just waiting on a certain someone to give me butterflies. I used to think man am I crazy for wanting to feel butterflies with someone but I know what I want and what I deserve. I guess I should just stop playing pretend with the ones that aren’t so interesting to me.

    • Hello Love

      Cut your losses now and kick rocks. It’s only fair to him as well.

  • Janay

    You’re just not that into him

  • No matter how great a guy is, if his family is truly messed up, I can’t get all the way into him. When you marry the man, you marry his family.

    • L-Boogie

      This is the truth, Peaches. You hit the nail on the head. PREACH! But that also goes for a woman’s family as well.

    • Annelli

      I have to agree PARTIALLY…LOL..LOL…..if a guy has great character and good morals and values, I would be willing to overlook that esp. if he doesn’t let his family get in the way. And I don’t believe that when you marry him you marry his family—that’s not even biblical. The Bible says when a man leaves his family he cleaves to his wife and they become ONE. So if you feel this way, maybe it was the men you have chosen to date in the past. I’m more concerned with character and morals—if those are in tact and he has a messed up family, he won’t be around his family that often anyways.

      • You’re right. I am however a different religion, so I was not aware of that. But, if a man has a child molester dad, a crackhead mom, a homeless brother, and a prostitute sister, I would find it hard to focus on his endearing qualities, no matter how wonderful he is. At some point, he is going to want to drop off our children to his family so we can have some time to ourselves. I don’t have any personal experience, so it is just speculation on my part. Thanks for the feedback.



  • L-Boogie