Have you found yourself in a similar situation? Extrapolating from my own experiences, here are a few red flags that should alert you that maybe you’re in the situation you’re in because of your own actions.

In relationships.

Everyone has at least one story of a crazy ex, but if all of your exes were crazy, then maybe look inward.  The only thing that they all have in common is you.  Are you attracted to a certain type of person?  Do you tend to go for those emotionally unavailable types?  Were you emotionally unavailable when you started dating these guys/girls?  Are your standards too high or too low?  Try to see what place you were in before you got into these relationships, or what attributes that these people had that attracted you and try to go for something more stable.

In friendships

A friendship should be like a conversation: an equal exchange.  Try to always reciprocate for your friend.  Remember not to take them for granted; there aren’t too many Renees out there.

In family

Now, family is a little difficult, because there are so many layers to your relationship with them.  In situations like family, it’s important to remember that you can’t change how they behave, you can only change your reaction to them.  Eleanor Roosevelt once said:  ”No one can make you feel inferior without your consent,” so examine how you interact with them, and maybe that could be the change to smooth out the rough edges.

At work

Do you feel like you’re trying your best, but you can’t catch a break?  Your boss is always riding you?  Well, are you perpetually late?  Do you always have an excuse to not do certain tasks?  Are you sometimes inappropriate?  All of these things and more can contribute to you and your boss having a strained relationship.  See where you’re faltering and try to improve on yourself.  I’m hoping that once that happens your relationship with your boss will get better.  If not… have you ever tried Vector?  *Just kidding!*

So to you, you amazing readers (who I’m hoping haven’t started throwing darts at my face), when you’re looking at your situation and trying to decipher what happened, and what went wrong, don’t forget to look inwardly, because you could be the poo on your own shoe.

Kendra Koger has been looking inwardly and being a better friend.  Try your luck at being her friend @kkoger.

More on Madame Noire!

• Jay Electronica: The Homewrecking Other Man?
• Where Are They Now? 10 Black Actresses Who Should Have Blown Up Big…
• Sun Sets: 6 Summer Must-Have Accessories
• Get A Little Closer: Romantic Movies To See With Your Summer Boo
• MN Exclusive: Malinda Williams On Her Most Challenging Role
• Kanye I Want You To Take Your Own Advice: Drive Slow Homie
• What About Ciara? Knicks Star Amar’e Stoudemire Proposes To Mother of His Children