Play verbal tennis.
I get so confused when I’m witnessing a conversation, or I’m in one when one person is speaking, and then when the other person starts saying their piece, the first person starts cutting them off. A conversation shouldn’t be one person taking over, and the other feeling like they’re being lectured to. A conversation should be both sides being able to complete a clear thought to move the conversation along. When you begin to talk over people it causes the other to want to either shut down, and shut out what you’re saying.
Try to be succinct.
A downside to the stuttering is that for so long I was used to holding all my emotions in. So when I conquered stuttering and was able to finally have conversations, I would have so much to say. Everything being bottled up for so long, made conversations with me last 20 minutes. I understand that you have a lot to say, but try to find a way to shorten it. If you have a reputation of being long winded, no one will be interested in hearing what you have to say, or listening to it for that matter.
Consider the art of the tete-a-tete.
You know those annoying moments when you’re in a group of people, a problem arises with you and one other person, and that person decides to call you out in front of the other people? I’ve witnessed conversations turn to fisticuffs due to this (“THAT [expletive] TRIED TO PLAY ME!) Conversations can already be tricky, but when you’re putting someone on blast in front of people, pride begins to get in the way and hinder the conversation. The person isn’t really listening to what you’re saying, they’re trying to find a way to make themselves not seem like the punk.
A tete-a-tete is a private, one on one conversation. It also is another name for a sofa, but mainly, it’s a private conversation. If there’s something you want to say to someone, pull them over to the side to say it, or wait until you’re alone. A tete-a-tete is definitely better than a punch in the face. Just saying.
Kendra Koger has been successfully communicating since she was a baby, and stopped stuttering at the age of six. Communicate with her @kkoger.
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