Let This Be A Lesson: Nas Says He Knew Marriage To Kelis Wouldn’t Work

May 22nd, 2012 - By Brande Victorian

Source: Complex.com

While Nas is talking self-sacrificing inspiration in the June/July issue of Complex magazine, I can’t help but think the Queens rapper should have just followed his intuition when it comes to his marriage to Kelis, especially since he says he new it would never work.

The breakdown of their marriage is one of those entertainment mysteries that’s never really been exposed. One minute we knew Kelis was pregnant with their child, the next they were getting a divorce and Nas was paying out one of the largest alimony/child support payments we’d ever heard of. But years later, 38-year-old Nas has opened up to Complex about knowing when it was over and how their relationship is now, particularly as it relates to their son. Here’s what he had to say:

Whether he knew him and Kelis weren’t going to make it as a couple

Yeah, but it was a problem I was attracted to. It was rock and roll. I saw Kelis as Courtney Love—but I also saw her as a mahogany queen. I saw us as a beautiful thing. I saw us as inspiration. People weren’t seeing hip-hop artists get married. A lot of people came at me crazy. But I think overall, we were inspiring people to love.

There was a lot that was thrown at her that she couldn’t handle. Like I was saying earlier, there’s a lot that I could tell my kids, but they’ve got to fish it out for themselves. Every night, she was in bed with Harvard. She was sleeping with Harvard. She had all the answers, but I needed something more from her, that she either wasn’t ready or didn’t know how to provide. Plus, she is younger than me and she hadn’t seen all the things I had seen. She was on her journey, I was on mine. In the beginning, I said, “There’s parts of this that might not work,” but there was a beautiful part of it, too. For the most part, I had a great time being married. It was amazing. She’s an amazing woman.

When he knew it was over

There was a point where we were trying to hold onto a relationship that was finished. She was pregnant and in the studio while we were recording Distant Relatives, and he would move when the music would come on. That was a great feeling for me, just to have that feeling of family. It ended around the time the record was being done.

There were times when it didn’t bother me, and there were times when it bothered me a lot. There were times when I was thinking, ‘Damn. I had this sh** all planned out, and now I’ve failed’. That was hard on me, because I don’t like to fail at anything. Accepting that I failed at this relationship—and it was public—messed me up. You ask yourself, ‘How could that person be so cold’? And I’m sure she felt the same way about me. It was ugly.

What their relationship is like now

It’s a lot better.

Whether he gets to see his son

That side is not great yet, but it’s working toward being that way. She’s a new mom. I’m busy and she’s busy. From what I see, she’s being a good mom, and it’s working toward a great place. There was a time when I couldn’t see him at all. It was terrible when the divorce was fresh.

Whether he ever hated Kelis

No. I got to a point where I was like, “Did she always hate me?” and “Did she ever love me at all?” I’ve got to admit, I did feel like that. But she did love me.

[...] A lot of divorces are bad because a woman is just being vindictive. She’s not after the money, she just wants you to hurt the way she was hurt.

How he feels about losing money in the divorce

It’s f***ed up when money’s involved in divorce. And I don’t give a f-ck. I can’t take it with me, so someone can take the money. Anyone that I’m married to, if I give you my life, I give you my heart, I love you—my money is nothing. You can have it all. It’s just sad that when you’re dealing with love and life and marriage, that marriage is a contract. It’s a business deal. That messes people up.

How he feels about women now

I’m taken aback by the beauty of women. There was a time when I only saw big breasts and thick a**es. Now, I see the beauty in the subtleties. Those are even better than the tits and a**. The aesthetics have changed for me….

No disrespect to women when I say bad b****, but my definition of a bad b**** is not always the video vixens. A bad b**** can be a younger woman, in her early 20s, but wise beyond her years. It could be a woman in her late 30s, who’s cool as hell, smart, and has great motherly qualities—or has great motivational skills, or is a powerful mover and shaker in her own career….

Michelle Obama is the most beautiful woman on the planet. She cares about people. All first ladies have their jobs to do, but you can feel her sincerity.

Whether he ever sees himself getting married again

Not right now. I’m enjoying life and looking at each day like, “This is beautiful.” I’m having a good time. I’m not going to bring anybody in to mess that up. You come around looking like you’re going to mess this good time up, you’re out of here—fast. [Laughs.] I’m not sacrificing my happiness for nobody and their drama. No way.

What he’ll tell his son about women

He has to have his own life. My experience could be the wrong thing for his life and what’s ahead of him. A lot of older people are giving the worst advice, based on the problems they had. I’m going to need him to tell me what to do. That’s what I’m looking forward to. If I’m here, we’ll talk. If not, he’s going to figure it out on his own. He’ll take his mother’s words, he’ll take my words, and then there’s the truth. Whatever he feels, he’s got to go with his heart, and be a man in every occasion

Am I the only one who just fell slightly in love with this man after reading this? It’s too bad Nas and Kelis had to go through what they did but the important thing is he didn’t come out of the situation with the same mindset to repeat the mistake again.

What do you think about his interview?

Brande Victorian is a blogger and culture writer in New York City. Follower her on Twitter at @be_vic.

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Luv4Musiq

I find it funny that people for damn near 3 years have commented on Nas marriage/divorce but once he does an interview about his thoughts on his marriage the haters want to say “he is not being honest or he’s cover up something.” I think some people desperately want him to sound hurt and miserable but instead he is looking happy and very content with his life.
- http://twitter.com/prfectisshe myprfectimprfections
  
  why are you so riled up about what i think. and no one is hating because they’re expressing their opinions. you can’t control who likes nas and who doesn’t lmaooo . are you a fan of basketball wives too. lmaooo! i don’t want him to sound anyway . it is what it is deal with it. and no one has to like him because you do think before typing lawd.
Dixbrat

It would’ve been nice to see it work out between them. That is all…
http://twitter.com/prfectisshe myprfectimprfections

ok found an old article and it says that nas didn’t want to pay kelis anything while she was pregnant. and that little thing i mentioned about him cheating the entire time of marriage popped up again. hmmm…
Luv4Musiq

Regardless of who cheated or didn’t cheat a child should NEVER be the trophy or means to get back at a person and any man/woman who believes that “cheating” is a reason to separate a child from their parent is no more than a “bird.”
Common Cent$

Yes Nas I will marry you lol. Everything he says is just so poetic!
cocochanel31

I’m lost. How can he see the child if she is keeping him from him? This is the same woman who did not tell him the child was being born. Cheating does not give you the right to keep a father from his child….smh.
- http://twitter.com/prfectisshe myprfectimprfections
  
  well i will try to help you with the confusion. what i was saying is nas caused his own demise but not really owning up to it. cheating affects everyone in different ways. and she was giving birth. at that time she may not have been emotionally ready to see him. maybe he gave her the perspective he didn’t give a damn. i just think nas is trying to come off as a mr good guy and he probably isn’t. as someone mentioned his first child’s relationship he wasn’t around , he isn’t around now either for his son. so imo noone is keeping him anywhere now and it shows a potential pattern. nas isn’t practicing what he preach , not yet anyways .
  - Luv4Musiq
    
    Nas is not coming off as Mr. Good Guy…you are just not comfortable with his answers. You can tell some woman just love drama and it bothers them that Nas is not giving it to them.
    - http://twitter.com/prfectisshe myprfectimprfections
      
      maybe , because he is not being totally honest and trying to cover up. do you do the same ? as for the drama comment obviously you’re very familiar with that type of chick and never live down a moment to seek out or come in contact. someone commenting their opinions equals being bothered? hmmm ok lol smh. i won’t do the some men thing on you but its clear what you’re about .
      - Luv4Musiq
        
        Who are you that he needs to be honest with? You are nothing more than an outside spectator who is basing you opinion on Nas from gossip blogs on the internet.
        
        http://twitter.com/prfectisshe myprfectimprfections
        
        EXACTLY! i never said he needed to be honest. i said i don’t think he is and you had a problem with that. reading is fundamental . you should not be concerned with what i think period. who are you to question my opinons ?
    - Knotslanding
      
      How do you equate not being comfortable with his answers with loving drama? Actions speak louder than words. I would advise any woman that a man who doesnt see his child is a not a man. Real men always handle their business. Just like Kelis had the smarts to go after his doe. Nas should have had the smarts to go after a fair visitation. Im sure he was on the phone daily with his lawyer concerning the support he had to pay. Why didnt he ask for visition in the divorce? Dont fall for the woe is me act men like Nas try to put forth.
Kahlilahb

I am in awwww with Nasir, I have loved him for the longest, he admits his faults and only he and Kelis know what flaws their marriage had, it we go off hear say, I heard they had a open marriage and she liked women…..I totally respect him for not going H.A.M on her in the interview,
http://twitter.com/prfectisshe myprfectimprfections

i’m indifferent with this interview. nas strikes me as the type that is very smooth ,a little too smooth. he cheated the entire marriage there is no mention of this . now he’s trying to paint everything as cool, ok . i notice he said he doesn’t see his child that often that stuck out to me. nas is not all he seems imo. kelis was VERY hurt she didn’t even tell him the child was being born. wow. and now he is trying damage control. i see you nas , i see thru you that is.
- Knotslanding
  
  Exactly. So surprised so many commentors are in love with a man who doesnt see his child. He also had a poor relationship with his first child. Not surprised so many women fall for game.
  - http://twitter.com/prfectisshe myprfectimprfections
    
    yeah i also was thinking of that song he made “daughters” . i’m glad he has finally seen the light so to speak BUT… his daughter is now what 17, 18? and now you admit the same with your son. i know he has to work , i understand that . but don’t make the same mistake twice. i just think he is a smooth talker. red flags are going up but again it could be me lol.
- Truth
  
  Nice to get prospective looking at it the other way, which makes you go hmmm…mind blogging indeed
  - http://twitter.com/prfectisshe myprfectimprfections
    
    yeah it seems like he is sorta exposing but not lol just my opinion. hope he really wants to make a change.
- Common Cent$
  
  Actually she cheated as well she’s no saint. And hurt or not she needs to learn to put the needs of her son above her hurt feelings.
  - http://twitter.com/prfectisshe myprfectimprfections
    
    where did you get that from? because i’ve looked up several sources and all i found was him doing the cheating and him trying to say that her doing a sex tape with an old bf BEFORE him was all of a sudden grounds for a divorce.
  - http://twitter.com/prfectisshe myprfectimprfections
    
    don’t know what happened to my other response . but i never found anything about kelis cheating. so where did you get that info from?
    - Luv4Musiq
      
      They said Kelis had a sex tape with another man. I find it funny that you stated, ”I thought everyone knew he cheated the whole marriage” but yet you never heard of Kelis having a sex tape. All your speculation about Nas is nothing more than gossip and you are trying to act like you have concrete proof of him cheating…regardless he is over it & never spoke anything negative about his ex-wife. So why are you so needy to find fault with his perspective about his relationship.? Key word “his” relationship.
      - http://twitter.com/prfectisshe myprfectimprfections
        
        and regardless this is my opinion and you’re not gonna change it . i’m actually amused you’re trying like a little kid in a sandbox. actually i did know about that . it was BEFORE the marriage like i said before reading is fundamental. nas used that as an excuse when he got caught cheating. try again i’ll give you an headstart this time lol.
- Luv4Musiq
  
  Damage control for what? Some of you women just love the extra drama…if Nas disrespected his ex-wife throughout this interview you probably could relate better because he would be sounding bitter and vindictive about a divorce that happened 2 years ago. How do you know he cheated the entire marriage? You seem to be upset with the fact that Nas is handling this with maturity instead of acting a damn fool in public like some of you woman expect a black man to do…hence you believing that “Nas is not what he seems.” No…you must see your own life situation and what to group Nas in your drama.
  - http://twitter.com/prfectisshe myprfectimprfections
    
    who said nas had to disrespect his wife? not i sir/madame. i thought everyone knew he cheated the whole marriage. why would he sound vindictive or bitter he did it to himself lol. that would be insane for him to do that. no i think this is more of your own life situation “brotha” your very heated by opposition and you got a large chip on your shoulder. still trying to figure out where him acting like a fool or disrespecting his wife was in any of my quotes but its whatever you see “brotha” , its whatever you see …smh lol
  - Knotslanding
    
    Me, personally, I wouldnt date a man with kids. Forget about a man who doesnt see them. Please, so many women out there who are baby mamas #3,#4 and cry b/c he isnt a good dad when the writing was on the wall. His past proves what type of man he is…but with so much love from the commentors it’s clear to say that women fall for trouble…they want the drama.
    - http://twitter.com/prfectisshe myprfectimprfections
      
      like i was saying the guy with 30 kids and some wonder how he got over on the women. look at some of these responses.
  - http://profile.yahoo.com/DOTB6BOI3PSAUSOA56B6QBOTC4 Whitley
    
    @54a29925726333ce73fd8019a9e09dd0:disqus ,I agree with everything you said@twitter-417132498:disqus has too much time to be worried about Nas and his failed marriage..Some people need to worry about themselves…I bet she doesn’t worry about her own life situation,but is [all] in Nas business.
    - http://twitter.com/prfectisshe myprfectimprfections
      
      this is a website designed for ppl to post their views. like i said before you need to log off, go and get a clue, and probably learn how to understand simple objectives. i bet you talk over ppl all the time too in real life.
- Trisha_B
  
  You mentioned she didn’t let him know when his child was born, so what makes you think she’s not the one keeping him from the baby? Which she is! ”
  There was a time when I couldn’t see him at all. It was terrible when the divorce was fresh…” <<< basically saying she kept him away from his son out of spite. Why do women do that? Hate the man since he's no good, but don't keep him away from his child, then cry 13 yrs later how he was a dead beat father smh
  - http://twitter.com/prfectisshe myprfectimprfections
    
    you can’t be serious right now? i see you mention what he claims happened. its funny but while she was pregnant he goes to court for money . but after the child is here he doesn’t go for visitation rights. girl bye . nas can’t see his son because he probably doesn’t want to just like with his daughter. he admitted he wasn’t around and it was because of him running after women. the song daughters mentions this. now he crying that same stuff and your gullible self so quick to pat him on the back and hand him a klynexx . lmao and some wonder how the guy with 30 kids got over on women.
    - womanofpurpose
      
      I dont mean no harm but you sound like a bitter angry black woman in which is so sad. Nas was just stating his side. He did say he will tell his, she will tell her side and then there is the truth. We really don’t know what goes on behind closed doors and it’s really none of our business. At the end of the day at least he learned and has grown even if its only a inch..
      - http://twitter.com/prfectisshe myprfectimprfections
        
        i really don’t care how you look at this and you did mean harm thats why you said all that. its ok your opinion. ppl always use the bitter blk term when someone obviously touches a nerve with them. its an interview he is telling some of his business. and this is posted to a website designed for ppl to post their views. this is like a, b, c, and some of ya’ll still don’t get it. point is some ppl see what they want to see which is roses and purple hearts. and some ppl use logic instead of all that fantasy , and then here we go with the bitter label ha! lmaooo!!! like i said its not hard for the wool to be pulled over a lot of ppl’s eyes. and i’ve got to keep going back to the guy with 30 kids. a lot of the same posters talking about the women stupid this and that . pot calling the kettle blk indeed.
- Slack Daddy means SORRY MAN
  
  AMEN- u dont c ur child much?? All the talk about money meaning nothing to him, then use ur money to ENFORCE JOINT CUSTODY & RAISE UR CHILD
  - Knotslanding
    
    Right. Im married with a child. If I divorced there is no way my husband can keeep me away from my child. So funny how as black women we dont have the ability/power to keep our boys out of prison, keep them in school, keep them around to parent, but somehow we have the ‘power’ to keep the kids away…so many black men use this as an excuse to not see their children. It doesnt take a lawyer to get custody or visitation rights. That argument is tired.
- http://profile.yahoo.com/DOTB6BOI3PSAUSOA56B6QBOTC4 Whitley
  
  How do you know he cheated all throughout his marriage? Do you personally know Nas? Does Nas personally know you? I ask you that because,if you didn’t hear it out of the horses mouth then it [might,i said might] not be true. Stay off of blog site,mind your [own] business,and worry about your [own] relationships if you have one……
  
  You need to get a life because you have too much time on your hands to worry about someone else’s failed marriage… S/N: You know too much about Nas marriage and you personally don’t know him…
  - http://twitter.com/prfectisshe myprfectimprfections
    
    sweetie the fact that you’re giving me advice you don’t follow is laughable. you’re all up in my business and passing judgements and you don’t know me or have a clue. and oh this website is designed for ppl to express their views on this failed marriage. maybe you should log off and find some business to attend to until you realize practical objectives. thanks oh and the answer to the first question is called google. why would someone admit they cheated the whole marriage? geez get a clue. girl bye !
http://twitter.com/wizkidworld Jay

I just fell in love with him even more.
educator

I like Nas, but I noticed when he talked about Michelle Obama, he said she is a “beautiful woman,” but he references other women as a “bad b****.” I know that he would never disrespect the First Lady by calling her that name, so why is it acceptable to refer to other women by that title?
- http://profile.yahoo.com/L6SG6SWCRNHZB24DTHR6EFQIFE Erica
  
  *nodding my head* true true.
  
  My gues: Michelle is the complete package. I honestly don’t think she has a flaw (my opinion). I think a bad B#$% has a couple of good qualities. But a beautiful women has it all- BEAUTY, BRAINS and HUMILITY.
  - JaneDoe
    
    Believe it or not that is his opinion on what beautiful is. Some ppl get it and some ppl don’t. To each his/her own. Its really no tthat serious…
  - Truth
    
    She doesn’t have a flaw, she is a human being not a GOD for christs sake!! What we fail to realize we do not know these people behind closed doors!
    - http://profile.yahoo.com/L6SG6SWCRNHZB24DTHR6EFQIFE Erica
      
      Lol. I never called her a god, maybe a Queen is a better word, maybe.
      
      I am by no means a person who idolizing celebrities or public figures. However, I come close to idolizing her. Beauty, brains, style, class and handles all the constent critism with elegance and grace. And have you seen her body??
      
      And if you can think of one VALID thing wrong with the FLOTUS…. I’want to hear it.
      
      ….as Katt Williams said “don’t worry, I’ll wait”……….
      - Truth
        
        I like your lol
        
        Anywho, I can say what her flaw is because I don’t know her. All the qualities you mentioned are what we see and know on the outside. Do you really know her?!? Certainly not )
Trisha_B

that Green wedding dress was a sign that their marriage wasn’t going to end well & she was going to milk that man for every green he got (money!)

He’s a beautiful. He seems like a great person to have a conversation with. Love him
http://www.facebook.com/imani.finn Imani Finn

“Every night, she was in bed with Harvard. She was sleeping with Harvard. She had all the answers, but I needed something more from her, that she either wasn’t ready or didn’t know how to provide.” this just gave me life
superwoman

I just love, love, love Nas. Other men please take note!
superwoman

Now that is a grown azz man!!
http://profile.yahoo.com/L6SG6SWCRNHZB24DTHR6EFQIFE Erica

I love his mind. He’s not bitter, not angry. He never spoke an angry word about Kelis. They were just in two different places in life. He’s above the pettiness, and I truly hopes he finds happiness again.
- Guest
  
  Yes, true sign of a wise person going forward. Nas just gets IT. You can’t hold on to bitterness and resentment. Learn from it and make better decisions.
Poundcakey87

Nas natural language is poetry not english…its like everything he speaks is art and truth..gotta love him..thats a awesome black man!
Sophie

i’ve always loved Nas… this interview just made me swoon even more… God if i could only meet him.
Truth

Wise dude. Always positive to bad his music isn’t out there being # ones. It’s unfortunate, we listen shite for music instead!!
JaneDoe

Love this grown man.. I love when grown man speak from life’s experience that the have grown from. There is nothing wrong with knowing still allowing yourself to have that full experience. Now you know. Enjoy life for what it is and if you meet the one along the way then thats great. I hope Nas loves again because love is a beautiful thing
akha1784

Nasir Jones is The Truth!

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