Madame On the Street: How Long Should You Wait to Have Sex?

May 22nd, 2012 - By MN Editor

Steve Harvey has a 90 day rule, some women wait til marriage and others do what they feel, completely scraping the numbers. We’re not here to judge. People should do what they’re most comfortable with. But just because we’re not judging, doesn’t mean we aren’t curious. We took to the streets of New York to see what the people on the street had to say.

 

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  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=671571496 China Maybell

    Three months if you are going to have sex with someone that you are dating. Get to know the person and be sure his or her personality fits in with what you want. Some people have sex and no relationship!  Some guys just want to see how many females they can say they had sex with.  

  • http://www.facebook.com/wayhungry Dizzy Marino Manning

    dont hold out…and dont be a ho ho

  • Chanda

    until you’re comfortable with one another, there’s a connection and a lot of communication. you’ve had the sex talk and expressed one another’s wants and needs. probably a maximum of 3 months for me but if he wants to wait longer then i’m down with that, too. definately not within a few days, dude will get the sideeye for that one.

  • Pingback: Dating, Sex, and Marriage: Why Buy The Cow If the Milk is Leaking? | The Mane Source

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Frank-McGar/100002101022772 Frank McGar

    The girls are on camera..of course they aren’t going to say it’s ok to have sex right away, even though they will if they want to. Not judging, just saying you can’t expect these people to tell the truth unless they are anonymous. 3 months is ridiculous. 2 weeks at the most then it’s time to get it on.

    • Mls2698

      You do know that you can still catch an STI while weaing a condom? What is a man’s  testicles doing while he’s getting it on?

    • Chanda

      maybe their parents were watching.

  • SJG34

    To be honest, I waited 3 years for my wife. She was a virgin, I wasn’t one but I respected her desire to wait until marriage and I forgot to mention, we are christians. We wanted to do it God’s way and I am so blessed that we waited and our relationship is so clear without the blindness that sex can create. 

  • Mls2698

    I did not like the dumb comment from the lady who said, ” you only live once.” You only die once, too. And the guy who said, ” don’t wait more than a month because we will leave you.” Kick rocks ninja!

    • really???

      love your comments!

      and dying is easier than living!

  • Barbarae Harris

    I think it should be something that both people agree on that its what makes them happy guys like a chase not a hunt down and capture. If you keep your time together occupied itll be about forming a bond not tying up sheets establish a bond first then bring in the physical… Make it last forever lol

  • Guesttalk

    If HE wants it too fast, I’m not marrying him, because I also don’t want hoes!

  • Angelb_33

    6 months to a year make him wait, make him work.

  • Angelb_33

    today in times now, don’t know all i can say go with the intution, the vibe.  regardles too soon to late if a man see and interested and know he has a good thing and know his future is based day to day with you. Ladies no need to stress if he wants you. the best thing is to continue, focus, function doing, being, putting you first that’s important. nothing forever.
    Learned the hard way

  • really???

    i think we need to get something straight. i didn’t read Steve Harvey’s book but when i saw an interview of him on tv the main reason he gave for the “waiting period” was that it gives you a chance to get to know a guy and maybe discover some things about him that you may not like before sleeping with him.
    let’s be honest s*x makes a lot of women googly eyed, it plays with the emotions and for a lot of women because they end up d*ckmatised they stay for years and years in a relationship they have no business being in.

    so this helps weed out a lot of these guys.

    and i agree with the premise myself.

  • MJ

    there are alot of men that would what. I just wouldn’t. My logic is this, the chemistry, communication, and connection could be there, if if the sexual chemistry, communication, and connection isn’t there, you have wasted valuable time. Some men are more experienced than woman, and vice versa. But the sexual intimacy is also a man ingredient for me in my relationship. If one person has a natural high libido, and the other person doesnt, and you wait a yr, they might be tempted to go get it from someone else, not because they dont respect or love you for that matter, it’s because the opportunity presented itself. I respect a woman body and her right to want to have sex with a man, but respect me as a man when I put a time frame of even if I decide that I want to make you my queen for eternity! I have been married before and just based on experience, waiting until then can have catastrophic effects!

    • really???

      a lot of men fake the things you mentioned just to get the draws , you know that right?

  • BlackintheHat

    Until you’re married. 

  • GirlSixx

    There is no set matter of time framing — I feel it’s cool just as long as YOU feel comfortable and YOU ARE READY on your own terms, and not giving in due to pressure or ulterior motives, because as we’ve all heard that a man can wait around for the goodies and still bounce once he gets it if that was his plans from the giddy up.  It’s like playing russian roulette, you’re taking a chance, but if deep down this was somethign you wanted on your terms then you good.

  • Dancerzrule14

    A year….

    • GirlSixx

      WOW!!!!!!

      A year?!! Are you serious???!!! 

        I would honestly like to know what man is waiting FAITHFULLY waiting a year for someone he’s dating to give it up, because honestly I know I couldn’t wait that long.

      JustSayin… lol

      • Dancerzrule14

        lol im dead serious.and there are plenty of men who will wait faithfully for a year. there are plenty of men (that i personally know) who are celibate as of now so waiting a year or longer wouldnt be a problem for them. shoot i acually know guys who are waiting till marriage belive it or not.its not impossible.

        • Miss B

          Thank you Dancerzrule14!

          I think that’s the problem, people act like it is impossible. Sex has become so “supply and demand” the more we supply it, the less value it seems to have. I think a year is perfect. The more you know your partner the more fun and free sex will be. If a man can’t wait for me (not because I have some rule, just because I want to want it & not feel obligated) than I assume he isn’t a man who can sacrifice for his woman.

          • Dancerzrule14

            @Miss B. i totally agree!! im a virgin as of now but i know for a fact that i want my first time and any time after that to be with someone who i have a deep and meaningful relationship with.something i also think abt is risk of pregnancy. like if i get pregnant i need to know that this guy is in a position to help me and be there for me and the baby emotionally.i cannot be sure of this if ive only known this man for one night.

        • GirlSixx

          If you don’t mind me asking what age group (range) are we talking here in regards to these celibate and waiting until marriage type MEN??

          *Jawdrop*

          • Dancerzrule14

            @GirlSixx its a pretty wide range. it goes from my age(19) to guys  in their mid twenties.

            • http://twitter.com/drewzee23 Drew Smith

              LMAO @ 19 to mid-twenties.

        • MJ

          there are alot of men that would what. I just wouldn’t. My logic is this, the chemistry, communication, and connection could be there, if if the sexual chemistry, communication, and connection isn’t there, you have wasted valuable time. Some men are more experienced than woman, and vice versa. But the sexual intimacy is also a man ingredient for me in my relationship. If one person has a natural high libido, and the other person doesnt, and you wait a yr, they might be tempted to go get it from someone else, not because they dont respect or love you for that matter, it’s because the opportunity presented itself. I respect a woman body and her right to want to have sex with a man, but respect me as a man when I put a time frame of even if  I decide that I want to make you my queen for eternity! I have been married before and just based on experience, waiting until then can have catastrophic effects!

          • Dancerzrule14

            “catastrophic events”? lol. well for me sex is not as important as the other things that u listed (chemistry, communication, and connection). within that first year i would be focusing on building those things instead of focusing on just the physical because i know for a fact that THAT will lead to catastrophic events. for me sex is not the end all be all to a relationship and im not trying to get to know somebody right quick so i can just  jump in bed. of course i would only date a man who has the same mindset.

          • Miss B

            From what I’ve seen not knowing a person or not accepting/understanding what you know is what leads to “catastrophic” events. Whether that be sexually, mentally or emotionally. The less you know about your partner the higher the risk of infedility, divorce, seperation etc. If a person truly understood the value in sex, I think, they would also know that if you don’t know a person through “chemistry, communication and connection” on a non-physical level…your sexual experience (on average) with them will be no where near what it could be. I know for me personally sex was an obligation (so many men tell you straight up that they “need it” & may not go any further w/ you or just cheat on you if they can’t get it…I’m sorry but that kinda kills my libido) and because I viewed it as “I gotta do this because that’s what HE wants” it was never exciting and fun for me…therefore it wasn’t for him either. But, when I got to know my man and trust him…knowing that he isnt this sex fiend with no slef control or acknowledment of the seriousness of intercourse, when I wanted it just as badly as he did, when I figured out what he likes and doesn’t like…well damn…it was a whole different story.

            • Dancerzrule14

              RIGHT! u gotta make love to the mind b4 u can make love to the body lol  (for me anyways)

              • Miss B

                Amen! lol

            • Guest

              We are not animals. We should be able to control our hormones and wait for marriage like the Lord intended. Imagine the gift that would be to present yourself to your husband on your wedding night a virgin, touched by no other man than your husband.

          • SJG34

            To be honest MJ, I waited 3 years for my wife. She was a virgin, I wasn’t one but I respected her desire to wait until marriage and I forgot to mention, we are christians. We wanted to do it God’s way and I am so blessed that we waited and our relationship is so clear without the blindness that sex can create.

      • Celibate3yrsandcounting

        Wow Girlsixx… it sounds like you would make a decision by timing when he will find sex elsewhere because you waited “too long”.  That should not be a reason to ever sleep with a guy.  Really, what are you going to miss out on?  Sex with THAT guy, but hell, there are plenty more out there.  In the meantime as you wait, you really learn a lot about yourself and learn how valuable your jewel really is.  Sex is emotional, once you sleep with a guy might do things to keep him even if he really isn’t for you.  Unfortunately we are wired that way sometimes.  Partly because we really don’t want to sleep around but we want that closeness.  Now with all that being said… I do realize that in making a man wait, you run the risk of a hit and quit.  Some men view the waiting as a game and feel they won after you made them wait so long and disappear.  All the more reason to wait and really learn about a guy… you should be able to identify fools like those if you keep your eyes open and mind clear.  Good luck out there.

  • http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=ntt_athr_dp_sr_1?_encoding=UTF8&search-alias=digital-text&field-author=Peaches%20The%20Writer PeachesTheWriter

    When the time is right, all parties will know it. If you do it too soon, you are doomed. If you wait too long, it might be gone. But by all means, have some standards. Don’t do it just because you can.

  • lisalove

    Seriously had to comment on this one. You just asking any random busted dude in the street who wouldn’t get the time of day anyway. Come on…lets do better. 

  • icanbutiwont

    The girl in the scarf is talking truth, and to the guy who said he “aint wifiing no hoes” you better hope a hoe never hear you say that junk. I’ve seen rats wait six months to sex a guy they would give the goodies in two minutes all because he talk too much.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_JAI4SRENU2A5WKRTELXXYJPDSI Kayla

    You should wait for however long it makes you feel comfortable. As long as you’re both ready.

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