Don’t Ignore the Crazy, Don’t Rationalize the Brokenness: A Cautionary Dating Tale

May 16th, 2012 - By Veronica Wells

I have no proof of this, but I feel like I was one of those kids whose first word was “no.” I’m sure my rapidly developing mind fell in love with the power of it, the shock it induced, the autonomy it expressed. I know this because, to this day, no is still a word I’m particularly fond of. No to correct, no to scold no to decline. I’ll be the first to admit overuse of the word has proved problematic at times. It’s the type of word that erupts, sometimes unexpectedly, even when it’s inappropriate or not the most tactful way to express an idea. It’s a problem I’m working on. But you know where “no” has never–or rarely– failed me?

In the dating game.

“No” in the dating world is a weapon every woman needs in her arsenal. No to the sweaty, no-rhythm-having man in the club, no to the street hollerers, (particularly to the man who asked if he could play in my dreds), no to the guy friends who want something more and most of all, no to the crazies.

I’m overly cautious and slightly paranoid; but quirks aside, I’m always in awe of the number of fruits and nuts there are in this world. Truth be told, we all have our issues and could cross over into the land of mental instability at any given moment. But I’m not talking about us. And I’m not talking about the people who’ve been clinically diagnosed with some type of mental disorder and are able to acknowledge it. I mean the people who are feigning mental soundness, people who would swear on a stack of Bibles, the Qur’an the Torah and Buddha’s fat belly, that they are sane, more sane than you, in fact. They boldly assert their sanity all while hiding deep, dark unresolved issues. Issues that negatively impact every relationship they find themselves in.

The thing about these types of people is that, they’re crafty and sometimes even charismatic. They’ll swoop in and sweep you off your feet, convincing you, at least for a short period of time, that they’ve got just what you need. But it doesn’t take long before someone’s true character rises to the surface. Before you know it, bells, whistles and alarms will be blaring in your ears, warning you that “somethin’, somethin’ just ain’t right.”

This moment right here is crucial. As soon as the alarms sound, you’re left with a decision. Do you heed the warnings and get the hell out of dodge or do you cling to your original expectation or the fantasy of dude, ignoring the vitally important warning signs?

I’m here to tell you don’t ignore the crazy. It’ll get you in trouble every. single. time.

I have a friend who’s the queen of ignoring the crazy. She has a soft spot for broken men. A brotha with minimal education, mommy issues, two children and a dead end job is a brotha who’s been misunderstood in her book. It’s a blessing and a burden, really. She empathizes with the downtrodden. That’s admirable. She often spends exorbitant amounts of time and energy helping them to be better men. And that’s admirable too. It only becomes a problem when said men, in all of their brokenness, can’t appreciate, can’t reciprocate can’t fathom why someone would show them this much kindness. And you know what people do when they don’t understand something? They fear it and since they fear it, they seek to tear it down. Piss on it, as I like to say.

But if my friend is the queen of ignoring the crazy, I’ve got to be the princess. Even I, a woman who considers every potential suitor crazy until proven sane, got caught up and ended up pissed on…repeatedly, actually. Not pissed on in the R. Kelly sense but pissed on in that after spending exorbitant amounts of time and energy trying to help and be there for homeboy, my efforts went unappreciated. And all of this was after much research…much research. How did this happen? I know I didn’t ignore the crazy!?! Naw, I didn’t ignore the crazy. But I sure as hell rationalized the brokenness. Every issue that set off the alarms I mentioned earlier, I excused, pressed the snooze button, assumed they weren’t that big of a deal or that they’d get better with time. Some of them did but a lot of them did not and ultimately I ended up paying for it.

So if you’re reading this piece, squirming uncomfortably in your seat, you’ve probably already heard the alarms and seen the red flags. This article is another one. You can choose to ignore it but don’t be surprised if you end up pissy.

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http://pulse.yahoo.com/_H6MFT4FPSLZLZUE4LFNZAOHBQU Me Too

Know what the funny part is? All the women out there who feel they can just insist on the *perfect* man, when the perfect man would have nothing to do with them because they aren’t perfect women. Quantify crazy, and then we can as easily quantify crazy qualities in both men and women. Loving someone is about accepting them for who they are – including their faults.

What this article really is, is a poor excuse for male bashing. Quit blaming the rest of the world for your failures.
KJ23

LOVE, LOVE LOVE THE ARTICLE!!!
Ifuaskme2

Kudos on this article
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=551680935 Eric McDaniel

The problem here is that you haven’t learned men. You never understood in the first place. Most of you bitter black women on here a clueless. You all admit to being in mostly bad relationships with men and never think of questioning your choice in men. You just condemn all black men as “crazy” or bad without looking at who you let into your world and ultimately into your body. What’s worse is that you then see crazy in everything. Man can’t make it to dinner- CRAZY. Man doesn’t return your calls or contact you like you want- CRAZY. Man has other priorities that don’t involve you- CRAZY. Maybe the man doesn’t like you. Maybe he just wants to use your body. That doesn’t make him crazy, just a user and you- A FOOL.
- Shae
  
  Another bitter “know it all” black man… I bet you’re single just like ole dude from above!
  - http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=551680935 Eric McDaniel
    
    Try again. I stay with female companionship. Educated, pretty and cool so get your mind right.
http://www.benaughty.co.uk/ London Datin’

dunno i think it’s better to be with somebody other then single… this sucks
Injynqbs

Great article! And ya…the R. Kelly/Chappelle skit did pop into my head for a minute. lol
Philatg83

Who’s fault is it that black women date subpar black men? You chose them, it’s your fault. Accpet responsibility, and make better choices. I’m educated, employed, childless, and have never cheated on a girlfriend in my life. Not once. I think that I’m better than average looking, I don’t have a problem getting dates. All of my friends are black men in similar situations. Educated, no children, gainfully employed. I’m kinda tired of hearing about how all black men aren’t worth anything. We’re all deadbeats. We all have 50 kids by 40 women. It’s not true. Truthfully, I went from exclusively dating black women, because I felt obligated to try to find my mate inside my own race. Like my father, grandfather, and great grandfather all did. What I found was disappointing. First, the attitudes on most of the black women I dated sucked. Really beautiful black women are arrogant. You date them, and they expect things that other races of women who are just as pretty do not. They are princesses, they are divas, and they see nothing wrong with being arrogant. I can’t stomach it anymore. The average looking black woman has usually been played before because she dated a guy who physically was above her level (a 5 dating a 7). When there is a more attractive person in the relationship it’s usually doomed. The better looking person knows it. The less attractive one knows it, and accepts things that they should not put up with. Usually one is more into the relationship than the other. When the woman is more into it, usually she gets hurt badly and is scarred for a long time. But it’s her fault that she stayed with a jerk. When a woman is damaged, that’s some serious headwork to get through for a guy. It takes a level of patience that maybe 1 in 20 men have. I can’t do it. I’m sorry. When I finally allowed myself to be open to the posibility of dating outside the race, I found that it was a lot easier. it was about the two people in the relationship, not about society or an ex boyfirend, or an absent father. It’s just a smoother relationship…and that bothers me a lot.
- BlackNGreen
  
  Wait, what? Was race mentioned in the article? If you want to date women of other races do it, but don’t talk down to ask black women to justify if a if you feel guilty for being attracted to a woman of another race. You also contradicted yourself. You mentioned that black women choose jerks, get hurt and blame all black men. But you are doing the same.
  - Shae
    
    Yea he sounds real bitter! And just like all black men don’t have 50 kids with 40 baby mamas neither are all Beautiful black women arrogant!! Because I’m not. Sooo… Before you go on a rant about what you are telling women to NOT complain about, make sure your contradictions and ignorant statements are called for.
    - http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=551680935 Eric McDaniel
      
      Your hating because he’s telling the truth.
    - Philatg83
      
      I’m not bitter at all. I’m being honest. Black get a lot of hate from the black female community, and I’m trying to put some truth out there. I’m a little curious about why it’s easier for me to get a date with a white chick or a hispanic chick who would be a 7 or an 8 out (out of ten), then a woman of a similar level of beauty in my own race? I need to be willing to jump through 3 or 4 more hoops to be with a hot black woman. Lol, it’s almost like I need to fill out an application, submit a background check, ect. So, it’s curiosity more than anything. Not to sound like an a-hole, really…but as a black man my options are more vast than the options of a black woman. To be point blank honest, a lot of black women put down or have a really neagtive attitude toward black men in general but then complain about being single. If we’re gonna be real, black men are the only men in America (for the most part) dealing with black women. Save for a few exceptions (very few), other races of guy don’t really deal with black women like that. A black man who has his ish, together can date a variety of women. But, I don’t think it’s we chose that option first…but there are some things that we don’t want to deal with. That’s why I think black women need to do some soul searching and figure out what signals they are putting off. Some things you do need to stand your ground on, but some things aren’t that serious. Especially, if you want to have a family.
      - Tsk
        
        Has anyone noticed that this person is constantly putting down BW on various posts, even when they as a whole are not the subject? Anyone also noticed that he is “tired” of all the generalizations of BM yet he thoroughly believes every stereotype of BW? And that he always finds a reason to talk about the women of other races that he glorifies?
        
        I am tired of these types of angry BM like you that claim to be experts in all BW just because they kept attracting the same type of women in the past so, like hypocrites they are, they get angry if a BW says that all men are the same yet they turn around and do the same exact thing by grouping all black women in the same category- angry and hateful. Lol, okay.
        
        Most of the time when I have dated men outside my race, it is different than dating BM because they are not walking around trying to be big and bad and a “player” like they’re God’s greatest gift to this earth, with NASTY self-centered attitudes. I have met MANY(like, a whole lot) BM like that and I am not the one foolishly assuming that that is the only type of BM that exist. Just like I don’t assume that only non-BM are perfect and worth my time. Skin color does not define whether a person is good or bad. Of course there are angry black men and women everywhere, but if you want to sit there and act as if only black women are messed up and angry and only good for nothing besides complaining about being single then have fun with that sir…
        
        Also, that statement you threw in for whatever reason about BW not having as many options as BM- Lol. Its 2012, you must live under a rock.
      - Tsk
        
        Has anyone noticed that this person is constantly putting down BW on various posts, even when they as a whole are not the subject? Anyone also noticed that he is “tired” of all the generalizations of BM yet he thoroughly believes every stereotype of BW? And that he always finds a reason to talk about the women of other races that he glorifies?
        
        I am tired of these types of angry BM like you that claim to be experts in all BW just because they kept attracting the same type of women in the past so, like hypocrites they are, they get angry if a BW say that all men are the same yet they turn around and do the same exact thing by grouping all black women in the same category- angry and hateful. Lol, okay.
        
        Skin color does not define a persons character. Man or women. You need to grow up and stop admonishing the same behavior you’re exhibiting.
        
        Philatg83
        
        You can’t learn anything, you’re so defensive. If you can’t examine yourself and faciliate personal growth then you’re doomed to stay in the same spot.
        
        Everyone is not out ot get you, everyone doesn’t put you down. Yes, you face challenges that are unique; but it’s time to get past it. Most women are in bad situations of their own making. Take responsibility for you choices.
        
        Here is documentary that might help your journey: Diary of a Tired Black Man. Lol, trust me you need this.
        
        As for the other races of women, I never said that they were superior to black women…just that they are easier to get along with. They give less attitude. Maybe you can learn a thing or two. So guys like are into the black woman’s attitude. But those tend to be the guys black women are tired of dating. So either you date the people willing to date you, or you make some changes that make you more appealing to a broader range of man.
        
        Tsk
        
        I never claimed that everyone is out to get me or put me down. I’m not sure which challenges you are trying to convince me that I have to get over. Being happy? Dating anyone I please in any race? Not having such a closed mind? Enjoying life drama free? Are those my challenges? Many men and women make bad decisions leading to the situations they’re in. That’s life.
        
        I was agreeing with you that it is somewhat easier for me to date outside of my race, because non-black men usually have better attitudes and are somewhat more genuine.
        
        I’m just not foolish enough to assume that all black men are bad because most of the ones I dated sucked, and that all non-black men are better because most of the ones I dated, I got along with much easier.
        
        My point was, it is ignorant to group all black women in the same category, just like it is ignorant to group all black men, or men in general, in the same category. If that makes me defensive then that’s fine C=
        
        Philatg83
        
        First you are overstating what Ive said. I didnt fail to leave room for black women who were exceptions. There are some cool ones, but they are a minority. From my experience, and the experiences of many black men I have personally had this discussion with (pretty successful black men, not unemployed men with multiple baby moms), almost every single one has said that it takes more effort to date a black woman of similar social standing, than women of other races. Some are willing to go the extra mile because they prefer to be with a black woman. But the feeling is the same amongst them all: they all feel like they have to prove themselves. Personally, I don’t feel like I should have to prove myself to someone I’ve just started dating. It’s all a leap of faith. There’s almost always a list of questions to answer, and a date feels like a job interview. Then once you are found to have “passed” the entrance exam, you are deemed “worthy” of her company. Who wants to put up with that? What’s wild is that I would have gone on believing that was normal relationship protocol, had I not dated other types of women. I just wonder why it has to be this much work? It’s not putting black women down as much as its asking a real question. And if there are women like you who are open minded, why is there such a backlash from black women when they see a black man with a white woman, or any other race? Why care? You have Jill Scott writing articles about it, you hear women sounding off about how “beckys” are stealing their men…but if we’re so bad why care? Not to mention the rolled eyes and attitude you get if you go out. You may personally be an exception but you know full well you aren’t representative of the majority of black women.
One who learned

Preach tha’ word sista! You must have been a fly on the wall in my life over the last 10 years. Here’s what I can report back from being in the trenches with the “crazies”

1. When they show you who they are, PLEASE believe them the first time. Don’t rationalize. Just believe.

2. When they TELL YOU who they are, break out the kicks and RUN LIKE HELL.

3. I’ve discovered WITHOUT FAIL that they ALL HAVE MOMMY ISSUES.

4. They can’t truly love you cause they don’t love themselves.

5. They lash out on you because they know they don’t deserve you and your greatness makes them feel small.

6. Women think that they can fix their man when maybe, he doesn’t want to be fixed. No matter what comes out of their mouths, most of these types don’t want to be fixed or saved.

7. It’s not our job to fix him. I’ve learned to leave God’s work alone.

I’m embarrassed about my bad choices but I’m not bitter. I’m still hoping for the love that I deserve. But I’ve learned to qualify and stick to my assessments. I’ve learned that people don’t wake up experienced; we have to go through some crazy thing with some crazy people in order to become experienced.

When we know better, we do better. But hopefully, women will learn to avoid the crazy in the first place.
- Philatg83
  
  Wow. “your greatness makes them feel small”. Yeah…that’s what happened.
- Injynqbs
  
  Love your number 7!
- http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=551680935 Eric McDaniel
  
  You do know that you don’t have to “be in the trenches with the crazies” Especially not for 10 years. You attract what you are a lot of times. This one alone makes your comment silly and childish “ 5. They lash out on you because they know they don’t deserve you and your greatness makes them feel small.” What makes you so great. Is it because you went to college or have a job? Because that’s not great, that’s merely average. What kind of changes are you making to government or society or religion or wealth? Do you have great wealth? Are you even great looking? You will probably answer “NO” to all of these except the looks thing because every BBW thinks they’re a Beyonce clone- NOT! You all are merely average and if you were more self aware and less critical of others you’d meet quality men.
  - One Who Learned
    
    I’d like to calmly answer your comments
    
    1. What makes me think I’m great? Because I’m a child of God and I know myself enough to know what I’m worth. If you knew me in person, you’d probably think I was great too .
    
    But it took me a long time to finally understand my worth. It did take me 10 years. I was young, naive, and too softhearted. I’m not ashamed to say it. You gain experience by experiencing things. Now that I know better, I do better…
    
    2. No I don’t have to be in the trenches for crazies for 10 years…anymore. God forbid that I would be at this point in my life. But I simply wasn’t at this point years ago. I’ll say it again, when you know better, you do better.
    
    3. I think that yes, lots of our women fail to understand men. We aren’t being taught. We become what we learn. Let’s use my teenaged example. I grew up with a mom that essentially told and showed me that men ain’t ish. My grandmother divorced before I was born. She never had a man all my life. She was independent, but definitely felt that with a few exceptions, men ain’t ish. My two twin aunties were Ivy league educated sistas who graduated hs when they were 16, were high-ranking medical professionals all their short lives. They were also lonely, and had the attitude that they had plenty of money, they didn’t need a man, and men aint ish.
    
    My daddy trying to keep me from getting pregnant told me (wait for it) MEN AINT ISH. So who were the people in my life to teach me about men, how to select a good man, and how to look out for wolves in sheep’s clothing? I knew how to avoid the obvious dogs, but I was completely unprepared for those wolves in sheep’s clothing. Not my fault.
    
    I think when the author refers to the “crazies”, she means the ones who are damaged a little or a WHOLE LOT. And I know they’re out there, because I’ve been with them. They’re not only the brothas either. They’re in every race, complexion, around the world, etc. I’ve met them, been with them, so I know.
    
    I’m glad to see the brothas perspective but when you lash out at the sistas on the comments, you tend to sound just as bitter. I know brothas and sistas are both frustrated with each other and the issue comes down to no one is teaching us when we are young how to deal with these issues. In most cases, our parents are buys working, they just want us to do well in school, get a good job, and they hope we’ll figure the rest out. But we don’t.
    - http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=551680935 Eric McDaniel
      
      1. We are all children of god. The broken, the fixed, and the working on it. So you are regular.
      2. “ANYMORE”- After 10 years? I rest my case.
      3. Having a mother who said that “men ain’t ish” as well as two aunties(R.I.P.) who were successful in the careers but not very successful in love and an father who lives somewhere else that says that “men ain’t ish” or that “I too ain’t ish” would probably lead to a negative view of men.
      
      You might be sweet as punkin’ pie but if you walk into a man’s life with the view that they are unworthy of you or that they are out to hurt you may just affect who you let into your life and how you interact with them once they’re their.
      
      Stop with the victim mentality and date different men.
    - Philatg83
      
      Smh. I’m glad you have high self esteem. But rarely will you hear a non-black woman publicly pat herself on the back for being awesome. If you have high self-esteem, generally you don’t need to broadcast it. It’s apparent in the way you carry yourself, without having to say it out loud. I understand why you feel the need to tell people, but at the same time it’s kind of a turn-off. Unless you find someone who is attracted to that kind of arrongance.
RenJennM

I “ignored the crazy” with almost all of the guys I dated. smdh. I was able to dodge a few, but the others caught me. My second love was the worst. He had red flags from here to kingdom come and I ignored them ALL. Why? He’s highly intelligent, and with that intelligence, he’s able to rationalize every mistake he has ever made down to the characteristics of man. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m intelligent too, and I would be right there with him arguing every point.

But the problem is that my heart was beating louder than my common sense. A smile and an “I love you” caused me to ignore his “sophisticated bulls**t” and stay. Stayed throughout it all for almost two years. I found out about some other chick and ran for the hills. I was too through. But I could’ve avoided all of that heartache and frustration had I just left him alone. You live and you learn, I guess. Better now, while I’m in my early 20′s, than later when I’m more grown.
Philatg83

Smh, are there any normal, undamaged, non-bitter, no–baggage carrying black women left? You may be justified in feeling the way you do, but quality guys don’t really want to deal with issues. Like the power of “no”? What kind of crap is that? Quality black guys don’t really the hassle. So something has to give, therapy, prayer something. No one wants to be in a relationship soaked in negativity, especially if its not based on anything the guy did.
- sweettea
  
  If a man can’t handle ‘no I’m not dealing with your BS ‘then you need to run fast from him anyway. A quality man doesn’t come with all that crap I should know because I married one.
  - Philatg83
    
    Congratulations on your marriage. But attitude is EXACTLY what I’m talking about. Confrontational…there are certain guys who are turned on by it. But usually those guys are the kinds of guys who move from woman to woman. Your husband is obviously an exception…God bless him.
    
    But since more black woman are middle aged and single than any other group in the country, perhaps they need to re-think things. If you want to date an attractive and successful man, you have to realize you aren’t the only woman who is looking this. Amongst black men, that group is small anyway. You may have your principles, and “BS” that you won’t “put up with” and that’s fine as long as you aren’t trippin over the requirements. If a man is successful and has an important job, he’s not going to have time to sit down and talk on the phone with you all the time to hear you go on and on about the details of your trip to the hair salon. I just got off a plane from Pittsburgh and I’ll be in New York by tomorrow morning. A text to say “Hi, I’m thinking about you” is fine. What, am I supposed to sit down in the lounge before the flight leave and call you for a half an hour? There are ways that men can show they care, but there certain things that are unrealistic. And if a woman wants to take a hard line on something like phone calls over texts, she risks finding herself single again. And Im not saying she should take blatant disrespect on the chin, but that ultra aggressive “I want what I want right now” type stuff does not fly with “quality” black men. That’s why more and more are not marrying black women. There’s just a lot of stuff you have to be able to put up with when you date a black woman. Being a little more easygoing, and also being a bit smarter about who you date will help black women find mates.
    - Shae
      
      I actually agree with you!
    - Lean
      
      @Philatg83:disqus There are BW that put up with the same stuff BM dish and more. Instead of adding to the problem or looking for an easy way out provide a pausible solution. Kindness begets kindness just as wroth begets wroth. I am tired of BM with WW insulting us cause we don’t fit your list of requirements. A degree and financial security does not equal intelligence and mental stablity.
      - Philatg83
        
        Lean, I’m all about kindness. But are you serious? Lol, list of requirements? You’re kidding right? The women I’ve ever dated who had lists of requirements for their mate were black women. And 9 times out of 10, the lists were almost 100% superficial.
        
        A lot of black women make poor decisions in dating early on, despite being warned by others. Yes, they are young but still you have to be smart about who you are with. They mature, after experience teaches them…but still walk around with the scars of past mistakes. A good guy comes around, but he’s made to jump through hoops on account of the actions that the first guy took. It’s emotional baggage. These women have been hurt and they expect every man to cheat, so they become closed off and defensive. It’s understandable, but who really wants to go through that?
        
        And yes, education and financial stability are big indicators of intelligence. Especially for a black man who had to work twice as hard as anyone else to achieve those things. I’m not saying that they make you a moral and upstanding person. But I only bring those things up because of the popular belief that black men are poor, uneducated freeloaders. Most black women expect that, and I’m just saynig that all of us aren’t like that.
        
        Stand up for what’s really important, like fidelity. Respect. But black women can pick at small things, and tank their own relationships because of their own hang-ups.
- http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=551680935 Eric McDaniel
  
  What’s interesting is that the quality men hear “NO!” from women all the time. It’s the men with real issues that women love to give a chance.
  - Philatg83
    
    Black women have to take responsibility for the decisions that they make. A lot are attracted to losers, guys that everyone knows are not responsible choices. But if you are a regular hard working guy, then you’re boring.
Kisses

Some of you sound real broken and defeated….just because YOUR love life isn’t stellar doesn’t mean all men are a waste of time! Accept being single because you WANT to be, not because you feel forced into it. I don’t get women who consistently bash men and then wonder why they keep attracting the SAME LOSER…if you speak it, he will come, empty pockets and all!
- Results
  
  Right. Women choose the wrong men then wonder…what happened?
  - http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1169326894 Pam Jackson
    
    And don’t forget to give it up for the brothas that try and make a ho a housewife & act shocked when she show the same colors she showed when yall were dating! Then ya come to me with your “fragile heart” not ready to commit! PULEASE!! I been hurt too dude, you don’t own the patent!! :-/
Sadeeva1980

I ignored the crazy, opened my heart and all I got in return was heartache. The guy I was talking to for over a year could be so charming and funny at times. He claimed that he placed everything in God’s hands, but his actions were never really “Christian like” and he had no love or respect for me or mankind. He said he didn’t care if people lived or died including me and disrespected me in so many ways. I’m kind of embarrassed about how long I tried to stick it out…hoping that he would change and putting up with actions that I never tolerated in the past. Well, I’m doing me now…one day at a time. I hope I don’t make the same mistake again, but I’m so guarded now.
ieshapatterson

well this was good advice,i wonder how many people will actually follow it.
FumigatedBraincells

.. and today’s free Essence subscription goes to….
- http://twitter.com/prfectisshe myprfectimprfections
  
  lmaoooo!!!!
L-Boogie

This used to make me squirm. But men in general are a waste of time.
- Roni
  
  You said it!!! I’ve finally come to realize (and accept) I’m happiest being single.
  - http://pulse.yahoo.com/_ARWCN44TE6LUWK5KGBO3XZZIUI Status Quo
    
    I was having this very conversation with my mother just the other day. i told her it is better to be single and get poked when you feeling a tingly down there.
    - Sophie
      
      LMBOOOOOOOOOOO @ being single and being poked when you feel tingly

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