Black Christians Are Having Sex Outside of Marriage, Can the Church Handle It?

May 15th, 2012 - By madamenoire

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Souce: theGrio.com

We are currently in the midst of a crisis and are facing a decision: whether we are going to choose blindness and live in a Christian dream world surrounding sex, or open our eyes to the dire reality and follow the Christian calling of love, non-judgment and compassion.

The crisis does not surround whether Rihanna is dating Chris Brown again or whether to side with President Obama or Bristol Palin on the issue of gay marriage. The crisis is HIV/AIDS.

Christian leaders may point out that in their ideal version of the world, the HIV/AIDS pandemic would be greatly limited because no one would “fornicate,” commit adultery or engage in “sodomy.” In such a world, HIV/AIDS diagnoses would primarily be found among people who were accidentally exposed to infected blood and used medical needles — or in a worst case scenario their lawfully wedded spouses (who did not know they were infected). But we are not living in that world.

The Reverend Jesse Jackson’s extramarital affair which resulted in a child, allegations of Bishop Eddie Long’s sexual acts with underage boys, gospel singer Kirk Franklin’s admission of a past Adult Videos addiction and Sunday Best winner Le’Andria Johnson’s out-of-wedlock pregnancy demonstrate that even those who believe that they have been called to minister God’s word through sermons, counseling and music struggle with their own interpretations of the Bible’s commands. It should therefore come as no surprise that the followers and fans in the pews are similarly struggling.

Chevonne Harris’s Ebony article Single, Saved — and Having Sex discusses this struggle and the decision that many young Christians have made to engage in extramarital sex while still expressing a steadfast devotion to their faith.

Read the rest of this article at theGrio.com.

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Nehemiah53

Look sin is sin no one have tried to make right sex outside of marriage. I know were you are headed but no one have came out and demand that the church except sex outside of marriage as right and good conduct.
Jen

This is nothing new. I think that it is becoming more prevalant because of Mr. Obama’s stance on gay marriage. Besides Eddie Long and Rev. Jackson, there’s been many of those who stray, only to return to open arms. The church will deal with it only when it becomes a mitigating factor or when it can no longer be swept under the proverbial rug.
What I’m not fond of with this article is that the main focus is on black Christians. Are we to believe that black people are the only ones sinning, committing adultery, fornicating? Is the focus meant to bring some sort of awareness to our race when you could Google a list of those participating in adultery are white and hispanic as well? Is it because the media only finds it newsworthy if it involves a person of color? Adultery, fornication and the like is nothing new. It has been and will continue until God himself decides when enough is enough.
- asantewaaspeaks
  
  I think that it focuses on the Black Church because the article talks about how HIV is particularly impacting the black community as as you probably have noticed the church is really important in the black community. I rarely see white neighborhoods with a church on every block, but every black neighborhood that I have lived in has sooo many churches.
clinique

Well extramarital sex happens especially today. We would all love to save ourselves for marriage but to do that today means many, many years alone especially in the generation of ME. That’s the one thing I didn’t like about Jumping the Broom: that situation is very unlikely. Men wanna f*** and so long as there is a chick willing to expose her pearls to snag him or for own pleasure, the buck will be passed. What should be done about it? Don’t know because you’re surely can’t shove a moral compass on society and I wouldn’t be comfortable telling someone that living the majority of your life alone to transition to marriage is worth it, especially these days when people have a level of commit equivalent to….nothing. But I do encourage not having sex with everyone that you’re mildly attracted to and enforcing condoms as a condition to engage in sex to cut down all the extramarital kids and STIs. God is forgiving but that doesn’t mean you live in sin it means take responsibility and work on being less sinful every day.
http://www.facebook.com/RosarioRed Rosario Stefania Scarsci

I am so tired of this argument. I am not celibate. I am 22. Although I don’t abuse sex and I do enjoy taking months at a time to have sex with a new partner, I don’t think that I should feel or be made to feel guilty because I enjoy having sex outside of being married. Me and my partner ALWAYS use protection. I am not a Christian. I’m a black woman like many other women posting here and it’s fine if others choose celibacy, but I do not because I do enjoy sex. Again, I don’t do it with EVERYONE, and because I do respect my body and mind, I do take time before I sleep with someone. It’s a learning process.
- OSHH
  
  Human beings are sexual beings whether they are having relations or not, just because one chooses not to fornicate and/or is waiting for marriage or they been around and found that God’s way IS truth and is truly the best way etc does not mean that they don’t enjoy sex. What it shows is someone with the ability to rule over themselves sexually and otherwise with God’s help grace and mercy.
  - Mls2698
    
    You are right on, but RSS is also right. She is not a believer, so she can do whatever. Not sure why she posted since the article is about Christians. *shrug*
- awet
  
  This article discusses Christians fornicating, not non-Christians! Therefore why should you care?
IllyPhilly

OMG they are!? Next you’ll say some are secretly gay or bigots or thieves as well! What is the world coming to? *side eye*
Anonns

Church is an institution filled with different people from different walk of life. A co worker who is crazy goes to church, all the people will see act crazy daily attend one church or the other. Basically, being a christian doesn’t stop at church and it’s an individual decision. The failure in the church is a reflection of people in general who are straying away from the morals and values they once or still believe in. This doesn’t make the Bible or what Christ did wrong, it just shows that we are fallen creatures. It’s a wake up call for church, it’s turning into a secular institution as opposed to what it’s initially meant to be.
Caramel Sweetz

I am so glad someone has finally had the decency to bring this up.Funny how these “Christians” condemn homosexuality/same sex marriage yet these same “Christians” don’t even value marriage enough to NOT have babies out of wedlock. And these other “sins” seem to be less condemned and forgiven much faster than homosexuality.Aren’t all sins equal in your God’s eyes?
- Asher
  
  I agree. I was thought that two. I for one see out of wedlock birth and homosexuality as equally sinful. To excuse one and not the other seems hypocritical to me.
  - Asher
    
    *too
Ms. Spring

Church people might as well face the fact that MOST churches are corrupt. Honoring God and Jesus and understanding/keeping track of the Bible should be something people should be doing. The Christocrites (Christian hypocrites) should not rely on churches to “clean” their filthy souls. It’s only up to them to clean their hearts/souls within themselves. They wouldn’t be committing acts of sinful activities if their relationship with God and Jesus is straight.
Jorgalane

Theism saved my life, no more religious drama.
Rmdavis45

What can the Church do when there leaders are doing the same thing themselves plus they profit money wise from people that continue to go to these very churches and listen to these wrongful teachings.If they would teach what the scrpitures say about immorality namely fornication and adultery then we would not be having this discussion,But instead of teaching the bible as it truthfully is they seek to water it down saying these things are ok.Many of these religious leaders are going along with Homosexuality which the bible strongly condeems otherwise Sodom and Gomorrah would not have been destroyed and Eddie Long is a primary example people still flock there in droves every sunday.So untill they get it right people will still practice these immoral things and feel it is ok to fornicate and committ adultery all week and holler AMEN on Sunday.
- Mls2698
  
  If they did what you say (which is what should be happening), the pews would be empty and bills would not be paid. I think one of the most real preachers on TV right now is Creflo Dollar (I know, the last name, right?), he will give it to them straight and tell them he doesn’t care if people are sitting there or not. We need less compromise and more restraint. Were are becoming the United States of Sodom and Gomorrah.
  - Mls2698
    
    *we*
Kitsy

Who wrote this and what kind of rock has s/he been living under? Have you been to church lately? All you see are a bunch of single (never-wed) mothers and their several children by different fathers.
- cabugs
  
  Did you read the article? What you are saying is exactly what the article (and also the linked article) is saying, although implicitly. It’s basically about sex outside of marriage so naturally things such as – HIV/AIDS, single motherhood (as you mentioned), and children in single-parent homes (as you mentioned also) are involved.
Beauty

Black women especially the Christian ones need to close their legs or make sure they are fully protected and the men they’re sleeping with are too. It’s just sad to see a very christian community with no daddies around, just mom. And don’t even try to tell me I shouldn’t judge people, cause I never claimed to be spiritual.
- Geani
  
  and black men need to stop running off. Funny you say “NO dads around” mom is still there tho,but yet the black women is blamed when the man is the one spreading his seed like fertilizer, scared of commitment….but no black women it’s all your fault. Even tho the men ran off on you not showing you how to be a man, it’s mama fault !
  - Caramel Sweetz
    
    Good point but that’s why women need to raise their standards and be more selective who they procreate with.
  - Kaisha
    
    ‘Mama’ has the decision power. We have heard severally the argument supporting abortion – It’s the woman’s body, she can decide what she wants. A man cannot make her keep or abort a baby unless she wants to.
    - Geani
      
      Do you see other races planting seeds here and there ? No because they get with a woman, commit and it stops there. Unlike irresponsible black men who’s entire life is based around s e x. With that being said I agree women can do better butr don’t exclude men from taking responsibility. That’s so unmanly when a man pushes his responsibility off on women. We need to take responsibility for our actions as well as the men. Something you never see. It’s always the black womans fault and that’s why bm stay losing !
      - Guest
        
        Where do you get the idea that only black men are having multiple children with different partners? This is something that ALL men do – black, white, latino. And yes, white men have several children by different women – Donald Trump has 3 ‘baby mamas’. Since they marry then divorce (usually after they have been having an affair on the current wife – Newt Gingrich), I suppose in your eyes it’s more acceptable.
        
        Don’t keep buying into the main stream media hype…
Beauty

It’s not about pushing an agenda. It’s just the reality of the situation. Black people, especially the women are usually church attending Christians. But yet 70% ofblack American women to be more specific have their children out of wedlock. It just doesn’t make sense how so many Christian women can do this, then say fornication has always been around to justify it.
- L-Boogie
  
  True. True. I am glad I do not have kids. Love them but not ready for them.
- Geani
  
  Are people trying to make having children out of wedlock acceptable ? No I didn’t think so. If you read around most blacks support this movement but yet the media is making it seem like we are the ones making a big deal while all the white people publicly speak out against it ! They are using blacks when you get finished. You all are disgusting using the black race in such a fashion. They always put it on the black people. I challenge you to read around and see who’s really for & who’s really against this movement ! All Christians sin but yet they whip out the black stats to defend this agenda let’s pin it on them. Let’s let O bama be the face of a decision that was going to go into effect anyway but let’s use the black man to push it while we sit back and let him take the heat making the devil’s work key word acceptable ! We have to use the blacks and civil rights to get out point across. Don’t you all get tired of that ? We are being used !
  - Tomarnald
    
    GEANI YOU SOUND IGNORANT AS HELL.. GET OUT OF THE HOUSE
- Ms_Sunshine9898
  
  i agree. it’s sad that so many people justify children out of wedlock just because the times are changing. with that being said that does make me a hypocrite as well because i’ve done somethings i know goes against God’s commandments just because “times are changing”. but as christians we must remember that just because the times are changing and people around us are doing that things that God doesn’t approve of doesn’t mean his commandments have changed. times are no different than when lot and his family lived in Sodom and Gomorrah and God still expected them to do the right thing
  . . .
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_JAI4SRENU2A5WKRTELXXYJPDSI Kayla

People have been having sex since the beginning of time this shouldn’t be news. Now as regards to HIV/AIDS sexual awareness, and education is a must. Condoms would be a good start to.
Geani

It sad blacks are being used to justify this argument. The same could be said about yt’s killing and murdering, molesting, fornicating and so on, but it’s the blacks that are being used once again smh ! Nothing but propaganda to push this agenda. Please bleep off already !
NikkitaMichelle

Fornication has been around forever, but unfortunately even Christians make the mistake of justifying it. Well I’ll atleast wait until I’m in a relationship. Well I’ll atleast wait until I’m in love. Unfortunately many of us who are raised in the church don’t actually become practicing Christians until we’ve sinned out of control and settled down and get married. Sad but true. Thank God for His grace.
L-Boogie

I understand this struggle. However, I just continue to stay celibate. Been that way for going on three years.
- L-Boogie
  
  Also, people need to stop assuming because someone is celibate they have a STD or STI. Wake up people. Some people really care about their bodies and heart.
  - Mls2698
    
    Exactly. Never had an STI before.
- Mls2698
  
  Co-sign. six years. It’s not hard if they don’t put themselves in certain positions ( pun intended).

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