Real and Relaxed? My Journey In Relapsing Back to the Creamy Crack

May 16th, 2012 - By Kendra Koger

Me with my relaxed hair

Besides all of that, there was the issue of finances.  When I first went natural I didn’t have any real bills (besides student loans) and my money was my own.  After getting married and trying to save for my child, I had to cut down on certain luxuries, so paying for my Miss Jessie’s went out the window.  I’m pretty sure that I could have found a cheaper substitute, but honestly, I didn’t feel like finding it (it took me long enough to find Miss Jessies!).  I was tired, with swollen ankles, and my car was beginning to put-put out because of the excessive driving, and I was experiencing horrible butt cramps!  (Pregnancy hurts, okay?) My life was doing all types of too much, in every essence of the words.  Just too much.

Whenever I looked in the mirror, I would see my hair and would begin to remember fondly of the times that all I had to do was to buy a $9 relaxer, some $4 olive oil for moisturizer, then just wrap my hair. At the most, I would flat iron my hair once, and then it would stay that way for the whole week. So to help myself deal, I began to simplify things.  I took my husband to get his license, I took a leave of absence from book editing, and I gave myself a relaxer.

Honestly, I don’t fully regret it.  I do miss my natural hair, but relapsing to the creamy crack was something that was easy for me to do.  I still love natural hair, and feel very compelled to tell women with natural hair how beautiful it is and how I admire it.  But at the moment, I live vicariously through them, while continuously giving myself touch ups for my relaxed hair.  Now that i’m adjusting more to my new position as a mother and working woman, I do think about going back natural.  But until then, the creamy crack will have to do.

Are you natural, or relaxed?  Which one is easier for you to maintain?  Let’s tweet about it @kkoger.

 

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  • http://profiles.google.com/theshytrovert Alise Earls

    If my natural hair looked like that, I would never relax again, ever! For me, going natural was a matter of finances. Relax and color was costing $200 a month, just crazy. My hair is wash and go, whether I want an afro or a afro puff or twists or whatever, it’s just easy and cheap. Nothing against relaxing, I did for years. But I also resent the idea that to be considered feminine and pretty I need to alter my hair texture.

  • Teacher

    Did you know you can have it both ways without chemicals? The key is to deep condition your hair so it is strong, healthy and soft and the ends receive attention. Then you can go straight with a blow dryer and flat iron. Or go curly with twist out or rodding. My straight style lasts more than 2 weeks. My curly lasts about as long with same amount of care and maintenance.
    Want to switch up? Shampoo, deep condition – or deep condition hair while dry- then shampoo. In either case leave conditioner in at least 30 minutes under a hood dryer or 1 hour or more without heat. In both cases wear a plastic cap.
    Straight or long both need to be trained. That takes time, patience and much love.
    So you see, as are all people, Black people are lovely and born with fabulous attributes. Get to know yourself the way you are and discover fabulous.

  • Teacher

    The word is “lethargy” not “lethargicness.”

  • Pingback: African/Black America - Not quite ready for team natural? Why these black women went back to using relaxers

  • Pingback: Not quite ready for team natural? Why these black women went back to using relaxers | theGrio

  • KC

    I am at this point and I am going to relax and the reason comes down to manageability. Between going to the gym, work, school, the freakin humidity outside; there is a lot that factors in and I’m at the point that I rather just deal with the straight hair then continue natural. I also completely agree about it being a mental thing to go natural, and I am just not there. I just dont think it should make anyone less black because they relax their. Sometimes, relaxers are just easier to manage.

  • Chemi

    Don’t use soap anymore because it might get in your eyes! Check out what is used to make it! ….one person’s medicine is another person’s poison….like chemo therapy.

  • Charmayne Joseph

    After being natural for 5 yrs…the only thing i now dread is washing my hair. I wash it in sections but it takes so long to dry without heat. I don’t prefer co-washing either cuz my scalp will still itch afterwards. Other than that I’m cool with my hair. People love it, and I find comfort in the fact that all other races have the option to wear their hair “as is” but for some reason many blacks decided early on that we don’t have that option. So now, I’m like everyone else (whites, asians,hispanics, and the fearless black sistahs)!

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