An Open Letter to Stay-At-Home Moms

May 9th, 2012 - By Victoria Uwumarogie

Hey mom!

How are you feeling on this day? Probably a bit tired from ripping and running and cleaning and cooking, and basically, trying to be everything to everybody in your home. It takes a lot of courage to make the choice to stay home with terrible tantrum throwing toddlers, and to be there like no other for…well…terrible tantrum throwing teenagers. The work of the stay-at-home mom is never done. And to think, as the child of one, when I was younger I used to think you didn’t do much of anything.

When I was young, I really didn’t understand all the work you did, or why you would do it. So when people would ask me what my parents did back when I was young, I would say the following: “My dad works in the schools and my mom, well, she doesn’t work.”

I guess I forgot that she woke up at the crack of dawn to wake me up that day, made breakfast so I wouldn’t fall out during first period, and drove me to school when I could have been a flunky on the bus (no offense to the kids who rode it though) battling for a seat in the back. And what was interesting was that when I would say she didn’t work, my elders would correct me: “Oh, she’s a homemaker.” Yeah, my mom worked all right.

In fact, she’s always been the hardest working woman I know. She was working when she was pregnant with most of her children (she’s had six), waddling to the train station to make it into the city to work, and when she came home, she was still putting food on the table and making sure we got our homework done. She’s wiped noses, combed obscenely tangled hair and greased dry scalps, made our favorite cake for our birthday, kept us fresh to death in all the coolest stonewash jeans and jumpers, read over my early journalistic endeavors (and she still has my horribly illustrated self-made books from childhood), and still found time to look beautiful in the bleachers at all of our football, basketball, volleyball and track meets/matches. Yeah, my stay-at-home mom with her degree in criminal justice and six kids worked for sure, even if she didn’t get a salary for it. But I’m sure there were some benefits (Get it!?).

But don’t get me wrong. Working mothers deserve the same amount of credit for all they do as well. All mothers work hard and you deserve your props. So that’s probably why the recent “battle” between stay-at-home moms and working moms made by the media and political pundits made absolutely no sense. Sparked by the words of Democratic consultant Hilary Rosen, who questioned Mitt Romney’s choice to seek advice from his stay-at-home wife about women’s issues, she said that Ann Romney had “actually never worked a day in her life.” It kicked off a firestorm about working moms and stay-at-homes, who does more, who does less, and so on and so forth. Folks tried to make Ann Romney the spokeswoman for the self-sacrificing stay-at-home mom, and instead of praising both kinds of mothers, Republicans used the conversation and used these mothers to point fingers and make it a “teaching” moment. Uh, thanks, but no thanks.

I don’t need Mrs. Romney or anyone else to open up my eyes to the great wonders of the stay-at-home mother, because I see you up at the crack of dawn on the train making sure your child gets to school on time and safely. I see you trying to grab little hands and moving to and fro on the streets while trying to lug around groceries at the same time in the early afternoon. And of course, I see you in my own mother, who even now, with grown up children, still sends handwritten notes and cards that say “That’s My Baby!” to congratulate us on our success. We were her “job” for all these years, and it doesn’t seem like she’s ready to retire. That’s why, now that I’m an adult, I have to applaud stay-at-home mothers. You guys could have been anywhere in the world, gone and done anything you wanted, made a stack of money in the profession of your choice, but you chose to be there for your little ones 24/7. You do what a lot of people, including myself, probably wouldn’t want to do, and that’s why you’re so amazing. Just in case I don’t get to tell you on Sunday, Happy Mother’s Day!

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  • http://BetterBusinessMom.com/ Joy Marino

    Wishing all of the moms out there, young and not-as-young, single, married, moms of angels…all moms a wonderful, blessed Happy Mother’s Day!  It is NEVER easy, but ALWAYS worth it!  Blessings!

  • OHHHH

    What does it mean working mom, stay-at-home mom, what the hell are all of these terms for? You gave birth and decided to stay home VERSUS you gave birth and are still going to work. What is the point of all this?  I don’t know why women are fighting for equal rights (rights to go to work, school, vote, equal pay) if all they do in the end is stay home and complain about how hard that is. What is so hard about staying at home? Seriously what? Everyone wakes up at 5am, everyone prepares breakfast, everyone prepares lunch and eats it, everyone cleans their home and does laundry so what exactly are stay-at-home moms are doing different than other human beings that still do all of this and still go to work and pay bills? What is so hard about it? I smell guilt trip and trying to justify your laziness by calling it “sacrifice”.

    • Mrsadkiah

      Taking care of children is not something that a lazy person can do. I know a woman who has a Ph.D and decided to stay at home with her three young children instead of going to work. No, I don’t think they do anything harder than anyone else who has children, raising GOOD children in general is very demanding. They call it a sacrifice because most women WANT to work. I don’t have any children, I’m in college working on a degree and planning on becoming a lawyer and I often think about how I’d rather not have to miss time with my children to be at work. They’re only young once. Women have to think about how much time they’re willing to take off from work in order to raise their kids. Will they take the 6 weeks (that America provides) or quit and attempt to get back into work when their children are older. Then they have to deal with the stigmas, either people will call them lazy and a “1950s housewife” for staying at home or a bad, selfish mother for deciding to work and claim she doesn’t spend enough time being a mother to her children. Why are you so negative about SAHMs? Women fight for rights because we should be allowed to have the same rights as men. We should be able to get the same jobs, and make the same amount of money as men. We should be able to vote and get into the same schools as men. At the same time women, and men, should and do have the right to decide to give up work and stay at home with their children. 

      • BAMMM

        Typical conditionned woman response smh…then why are you wasting your time and going to school for? Just wait for a man to make you pregnant and take care of you then. Why fight for equal rights if you still want to depend on a man in the back of your mind? Why that PhD lady got her PhD then if she was going to stay home and not use it? She is supposed to take care of her children whether she works or not, her husband is also supposed to take care of his children regardless, she ain’t doing anything hollier than any other person who is also working and taking care of her children. How is taking care of children something so hard to do? Exactly how?  It’s women like you that are taking women back in the 1950′s. SAHM’s just don’t want to work and want a man to rescue them and are using children as an excuse. If you ever become a lawyer and decide to stay at home, that doesnt make you any better parent than your next door neighbor who is also a lawyer and is taking care of her children.

        • GM_I

          You better tell em…she wants to go to school, pile up debt to become a lawyer only to quit or get sidelined becuz she gets knocked up & have a man pay off her student loans for her…when that financial aid and job opportunity could of went to a man who would of worked until the day he died as all men in life have to do…she’ll end up having other ppl/co-workers who probably dont even have or want kids have to pick up her slack at work for not being in the office durin and after pregnancy…then they’ll continue to pick up that slack becuz she has to leave work early to pick up her kid, show up late regulary or later than others have to becuz she has to drop her kid off at daycare or school, call out more often than anybody else cuz her kid is home sick with the sniffles etc…now, women are tryin to change the entire workforce/place to accomodate their kids, turning companies/businessess into daycare centers, complaining how they want to bring their babies to work, have them crying all day annoying & disturbing everyone else busy working…she wont be able to get her work done cuz she’ll be in the bathroom changing diapers instead of at her desk working on court cases etc…America is gonna go from a super power to third world country as a competitor in the world economy…its stupid so many women think they can work careers that generally have DEMANDING hours, where most ur time has to be dedicated on the job and making the company profits & contributing to its economic status and growth on a global scale.

        • Mrsadkiah

          I said in my comment that I don’t think that they’re doing anything more special than anyone else. However they are making a sacrifie. Again, we fought, and still fight for rights because women should have equality to men. However just because a man or woman has the right to vote doesn’t mean that they have to. Just because a man and a woman have the right to work doesn’t mean that they have to. If they decide that they instead want to raise their children full time so they sacrifice having a career that doesn’t make them lazy. When did I say that I wanted to do anything? I’m in school because I want to be a lawyer and I have a thirst for knowledge. However I do wonder how I want to raise my children when I do. Not all SAHM just want to laze around while their partners bring in income. A good parent is working hard, so if someone is a stay at home parent they are working a full time job. It’s not anything more special or demanding than a women or man who works and is a parent but it is a full time job.

      • BAMMM

        Typical conditionned woman response smh…then why are you wasting your time and going to school for? Just wait for a man to make you pregnant and take care of you then. Why fight for equal rights if you still want to depend on a man in the back of your mind? Why that PhD lady got her PhD then if she was going to stay home and not use it? She is supposed to take care of her children whether she works or not, her husband is also supposed to take care of his children regardless, she ain’t doing anything hollier than any other person who is also working and taking care of her children. How is taking care of children something so hard to do? Exactly how?  It’s women like you that are taking women back in the 1950′s. SAHM’s just don’t want to work and want a man to rescue them and are using children as an excuse. If you ever become a lawyer and decide to stay at home, that doesnt make you any better parent than your next door neighbor who is also a lawyer and is taking care of her children.

    • Pivyque

      Lol I partially agree with you. I do those things everyday and I work outside of the home. I don’t think they are lazy, I just think they don’t know how to multitask very well. Some people can work and raise kids without having to worry about finding a balance, while others feel that work is taking away time that should be dedicated to the kids. Being a parent is hard work period. Nobody should think they are any better than someone else because they decide to stay home or because they decide to work.

  • Guest

    So let me get this straight…

    1. The Democrat Rosen insults stay-at-home moms.

    2. The Republican Romneys defend for stay-at-home moms.
    3. You write an article about your support for stay-at-home moms.

    4. You criticize the Romneys but not Rosen.

    Way to keep that rabid bias in check! SMH

    • FromUR2UB

      Don’t distort the facts, please.  Hilary Rosen never even mentioned stay-at-home moms.  She said that Romney’s wife never worked a day in her life, and what she likely meant is that she never held a job outside of her home, AND had housekeepers and nannies to help her at home.  She was speaking specifically about one woman.

      • Guest

         You are right and thank for your constructive criticism. Let me reiterate…

        1. The Democrat Rosen insulted stay-at-home mom Ann Romney suggesting she never worked a day in her life.

        If Rosen “likely” meant this or that, why didn’t she say it? If nothing else, does she not deserve criticism for making ambiguous accusations?

        Of course, Rosen has no way of knowing her workload inside the home. She assumed that this woman of means who did not work outside the home, did not work inside the home. No criticism for this assumption? Does she assume that no woman of means works inside the home? Isn’t this insulting to stay-at-home moms, even if they have money?

        And regardless of political affiliation, do the Romneys really deserve criticism for their defense in response? Really?

        • FromUR2UB

          I’m guessing Rosen didn’t defend herself because it wouldn’t have made a difference, especially since it grew into something she hadn’t said in the first place. 

          • Guest

            My issue wasn’t with either what Hilary Rosen said or Ann Romney’s response. My issue was with the writer of this article who:

            1. wrote an article in support of stay-at-home moms.
            2. did not criticize Hilary Rosen’s insult of a stay-at-home mom.
            3. criticized the response to the insult of a stay-at-home mom.

            That’s what I couldn’t fathom. I hope that’s clear enough without any distortion of facts.

          • Guest

            My issue wasn’t with either what Hilary Rosen said or Ann Romney’s response. My issue was with the writer of this article who:

            1. wrote an article in support of stay-at-home moms.
            2. did not criticize Hilary Rosen’s insult of a stay-at-home mom.
            3. criticized the response to the insult of a stay-at-home mom.

            That’s what I couldn’t fathom. I hope that’s clear enough without any distortion of facts.

  • FromUR2UB

    When I was growing up, stay-at-home-moms were called housewives.  My mother used to get up at 6AM every morning, like someone going to a job, to get breakfast on and put a load of laundry in the washer.  Since we didn’t have a dryer in those days, she had the laundry on the clotheslines in our backyard, by 7:30AM.  Then she put music on the stereo, usually James Brown or Ray Charles, as she did her cleaning, which included waxing hardwood floors to the beat of the music.  After she was done with cleaning, she began cooking.  My dad worked 5AM – 2PM, so dinner was ready when he arrived home.  By the time I was in high school, she was babysitting my eldest sister’s children, so she started getting up earlier because my sister would be dropping the kids off by 6:30AM.  By 8PM, she’d say, “I’m tired! I’m going to bed.”  We used to tease her a little about going to bed so early, but she had every reason to be tired at the end of her day.

    What a cutie-pie baby on that pic.

  • Pivyque

    I’ve been on both sides of the fence and I prefer to work outside of the home. :-) Good article, but I think we should praise the stay at home fathers and good fathers in general. Moms get all this credit and that’s nice, but the fathers are still being overlooked for the most part. The worst thing about it is that fathers are portrayed as idiots in the media. As a society, we need to start paying them more positive attention.

    • F3ral Anarchy

       wait what?  stay at home fathers?!?!  From all the other times this was raised about women being the breadwinners and men staying home with the kids on other posts on MN stay at home fathers are to be shamed says the black women on MN. 

      • Pivyque

        Well, I wouldn’t feel any differently about my husband if he decided to stay at home and tend to the house. As long as he was actually doing something and not sitting around all day, I would be fine with that. To each its own.

  • Hallie

    My mom was a stay-at-home mom most of the time. She is such as lazy bum. She barely took me to school. She only made TEA for my breakfast. I had to eat dry sugary cereal on my way to school IN THE BUS!! I remember when I had projects due at school and had to carry the big poster boards. I still had to take the frigging bus and struggle with the poster board. I remember when the bus went on strike and I stood at the bus stop till 8:50am  and school started at 9 am. I used the payphone and tried calling my mother multiple times, she only picked up the phone (never answered hello) and hung up immediately. When I got home I told her the bus striked and she told me I was a “conniving liar and was too lazy to take the bus to school.” My mom was a lazy azz bytch. Also when my dad got home from work she was just starting dinner. She never cleaned at all. I developed allergies from the house being so dusty. She is not a good woman at all and when I have kids I don’t want her around my children!! 

    • Hallie

      I remember I had to make doctor appointments myself. I went to the doctor myself too. One time my doctor seemed upset. He said “where are your parents, do they know you are here?!” My doctor said his parents still took him to school when he was in college and his mom treated him like a baby. I have always done everything by myself because I had worthless sacks of shyt for parents. I already told my parents when I am ready to move out they will come home and see my shyt gone. I will not tell them I’m moving. If I get married they will never meet my husband. I don’t even think I will keep in contact with them once I move out.  

      • FromUR2UB

        I’m sorry to hear that, though I hope that for your own emotional well-being, you’ll be able to find it in your heart to forgive them someday.  The good thing that will come from it is that you’ll be a strong, self-reliant person, who’ll be successful if you go college.  I’m not telling you what I’ve heard, but what I know, because I’ve seen it many times with the kids who pretty much raised themselves.  When they focus on building their futures, they do well in life.

      • Guest18

        Yet Hallie, you seem perfectly comfy living in their home, using their electricity, and probably eating their food.  (I’m assuming you are of adult age.) 

        • GM_I

          That would be kind of odd for a doctor to ask her “do your parents know you’re here” if she was a full grown adult, dont u think???

          Im not sayin its not a possibility she is an adult, im just sayin that part of her comment alone gives in indicator of her age range IMO.

          • Guest18

            Well, where I’m from most minors don’t use the language she did.  So no, her age is not evident to me.

      • Guest18

        Yet Hallie, you seem perfectly comfy living in their home, using their electricity, and probably eating their food.  (I’m assuming you are of adult age.) 

      • GM_I

        Glad that ur sharing the other side of the fence that most of society ignores, just to protect the motherhood image over protecting the child(ren)…the main thing i hate about these type of articles or open letters/props to mothers, is they give the perception that a woman who is a mother is ALWAYS doing her job as a mother just becuz she is a mother period…as if no mother can do any wrong, when that is so far from the truth and a lot of children in America that experienced what u wnet through have no voice or representation…mothers like the one u had get millions of excuses & sympathy for failing u as a parent…I say only mothers becuz women in general & society dont hesitate to rip fathers a new one or criticize/ridicule anything he does wrong or not to the liking of mothers/women…and society doesn’t portray men in a positive light when their great parents to the same degree they do mothers (such as open letters like this thread) or horrible dads out there, painting the perception all fathers suck, dont know what they’re doing in child rearing or are bad with kids period, while mothers are superherores and saints who always no what to do and would never do anything to harm their child in any shape, form or fashion.
         
        Instead of doin an open letter on fathers day, I wont be surprised if this s1te writes an article completely focusing on all the mothers who chose deadbeats to have children with and dedicate fathers day just to the single moms raising kids on their own and ignore all the fathers in the home, still with the mother & kids as a family & even single fathers for that matter; something they do purposely becuz highlighting & giving props to single dads puts the spotlight on the fact that mothers are deadbeats as well, who abandon their children & neglect them just as much as men can & do…so, they dont do it becuz they want that perception oof being a deadbeat to stay on only men/fathers & protect their image and the overall image of motherhood no matter what smh.

    • Pivyque

      Exactly! Not every stay at home mom cooks, clean and takes care of the kids. Some just don’t want to work, so they stay at home and the father works and takes care of the kids.

  • Guest

    So sweet, thank you.

  • Young Mommy

    Thank you, Victoria. That letter means so, so, so much.
    I’m a new stay at home mom to two children (under TWO – pheww!) when I got laid off a few months ago and it is definitly work! I was making $63,000/yr as an engineer and the pressure, stress and yes, even the self-fufillment does not  even come close to being home and raising my children the way I want them to be raised.

    So, again. Thank you. It’s a huge sacrifice and work, but you, the babies, the next generation are priceless. Therefore, this work is most definitly worth it. :)

  • GM_I

    Cant wait to see what the open letter to Stay-At-Home-Dads looks like…probably somethin like: “Dear Loser, get a job” smh…I doubt any of the stay at home dads will get any recognition or thanks like the SAHM get…instead, he’ll most likely be ridiculed, unappreciated & go unnoticed as most have been for decades now (single fathers & even hard-working fathers too for that matter who barely even get 1% the same level of recognition/appreciation for their part but 100% of the blame when kids go bad)…cuz we all know when a woman quits her job and becomes a stay at home mother; shes doin the hardest job in the world who is ALWAYS assumed to be a great mother, cooking, cleaning, helping with homework etc just becuz she is a mother period, when that is the farthest thing from the truth a lot of the time, especially this day n age (i posted links to give examples of what i mean and what i’ve stated)

    http://abcnews.go (dot) com/2020/moms-secret-habit-coffee-mug-full-wine/story?id=10511256

    http://www.huffingtonpost (dot) com/2011/06/16/mommy-themed-wines-meet-r_n_878220.html

    http://today.msnbc (dot) msn (dot) com/id/44927779/ns/today-today_news/t/baby-lisas-mom-i-was-drunk-when-she-vanished/

    http://articles.businessinsider (dot) com/2012-05-07/news/31604255_1_stay-at-home-dads-stay-at-home-moms-stay-at-home-mothers

    But, if a man does the exact same thing becoming a stay at home dad to raise kids; he is labeled weak, a loser, a failure and all of a sudden the whole “hardest job in the world” becomes “its not that big of a deal” when its a man/father doin the staying at home (not surprising being women are biased walkin contradictions more often than not)…then y’all females got the nerve to byytch n preach that “women are equal to men” BS spewed by the femi-nazis of the past & present, claiming to want to have or be held to the same standard and not have double standards but are the first to encouraging a double standard such as being a stay at home parent…anyway, come Fathers Day, I cant wait to see what article is posted about it, probably some female writer who wants to make Fathers Day about mothers & steal away the only day all the fathers apart of their kids lives as they chose to be away from them & make it about some baby mama who spread her legs for a deadbeat.

    • http://BetterBusinessMom.com/ Joy Marino

      Both genders were put on earth for different purposes.  We tend to fight nature, because we are human.  Bottom line is that if you are a SAHD you need no approval from anyone and you will get all the rewards from your children because in the end…it is about them, not us.  Bless you for taking care of your children..and kudos for taking care of them in the way that works best for YOU so that you can be your best for THEM.

      • GM_I

        I dont have kids and dont want them…if SAHD dont need approval than neither shoud SAHM, so lets completely stop these damn open letters and giving props to mothers for doing the job they willingly signed up for by giving birth to the child in the first place, since u say its about THEM (i.e. the kids) and not US (i.e. mothers/fathers)…pretty dumb comment to make on a thread completely about mothers smh…also, u missed the whole point of my comment and i’ve heard the saying “kill them with kindness” plenty of times but using common sense, logic & rationality works 10 times better, try again.

        • http://BetterBusinessMom.com/ Joy Marino

          It’s all about perspective.  What you view as reality is not necessarily what others see.  Two people in the same place at the same exact moment will “see” two totally different realities based on their perspective.  Common sense is based on that; not on what you define it as.  I am not sure where your bitterness comes from; you haven’t walked my path, nor I yours.  I agree to disagree and that is all.  You don’t know me, you state you aren’t a Stay at home parent, so I am unsure what logic there is for even commenting on such a post.  Regardless, kindness is my way; my heart is that of a servant.  I also have enough common sense, logic and rationale to know when to shake the dust from my shoes and walk away.  Blessings.

          • GM_I

            I dont have to be a Stay-At-Home-Parent to be able to make a comment about it…do I have to commit murder first to speak about that too??? smh…common sense isn’t based on the individual realities of ppl, its based on common knowledge & facts, not perspectives…ur basically sayin everyone who has a perspective is never wrong or could be wrong…and its not bitterness to present a debate about the doube standards of being a stay at home parent, i hope u choose to walk away becuz u have no rebuttal, no arguement against what i’ve already stated or anything to say to prove what i say to be untrue in the society we live in…ur just making responses about absolutely nothing to do with the topic at hand, stop wasting both of our time and quit responding to my comments if u have nothing to add towards the debate other than ur own assumptions & opinions with no facts to back up what ur talkin about.

    • F3ral Anarchy

       There was a man in another thread touching on this exact thing about SAHD that actually said “if i was a stay at home dad and my sons didnt see me leaving the house everyday they would turn out to be losers”….Lets see whats written come fathers day.

      • GM_I

        A lot of sons & daughters saw their daddies leaving the house, and they never came back, i bet they wish they didn’t see their dads leave after that lol XD
         
        Anyway, that mentality has SOME truth in it, becuz fathers are very significant in a boys life…although, in this day n age we live in, the single mother with her “I dont need a man to have a baby or raise a child/boy into a man” mantra of this generation, so many women/mothers CHOOSING the worse men to be the father of their child or not caring to get pregnant by deadbeats cuz bad boys turn them on, has made the fathers of this era and the future era a bunch of pucci’fied manginas becuz they were raised by women instead of men (becuz dad left the mom to be the single parent generally becuz he didnt want to be a dad in the 1st place, dad went to prison cuz he’s a criminal or mom keeps dad away from the kid out of spite).

        Then these boys are taught by the mother to believe the many delusions women think a man should be (and to be the man the mother wish she would of got knocked up by aka the nice guy) and these boys will not only grow up to be losers/mamas boys, but suckaz with no backbone who are bullied by controlling ba11 bustin women & played/trapped by gold-diggers when they grow up becuz their mama told them to do whatever women told him and hey, thats how he grew up, doin what women (i.e. his mom/other female fam members) told him to do…so, whether is conscious or sub-consciously, he doesn’t know how to be a man nor stand on his own without needing a woman to hold his hand, tell him what to do, how to do it etc.
         
        Also, a boy seeing his dad leave the house everyday doesn’t mean his son wont become a loser, its a bit more complex than that…if a dad leaves the house everyday to sell drugs, im very certain his son will still become a loser behind bars gettin bent over one day…i understand the quote that ur posting about, but there are other variables and factors that make just goin out the house everyday means ur son will be a winner in life…a lot of fathers have disappointing sons, a lot of fathers who are winning in life have loser sons, so the mentality of “if my dad is a winner & successful, so will i” isn’t 100% true…it just means the father is better equipped to teach his son to be a winner but the son stiill has to be able to grasp and learn those teachings and not all of them do for a multitude of reasons…but yes, i cant wait to see what the open letter to fathers will be, IF there will be at all.

  • Nisha136988

    I totally agree. I too was raised by a stay at home mom which took care of five all together including myself. It made me appreciate the hard work and sacrifice women make. Personally I am a working mom that still does all the jobs of a stay at home mom; therefore I understand both roles. I don’t think any less of either role because they both are equally hard. Happy mothers day to all the hard working mothers. You are not taken for granted.

  • Momof4

    Oh my gosh!  So nice!  I’m a SAHM and we sometimes get NO credit, but thank you for realizing that we are making a big sacrifice to provide our children with what we feel is the best upbringing.  Yes, we have less money but my quality of life is as I want it to be.  Thank you for the shout out.  BTW I encourage more women to consider staying home (if it’s possible).  You will not regret it.

    • BAMMM

      What credit are you seriously looking forward to getting when you are supposed to take care of your children regardless of whether or not you work? Seriously, women do piss me off. And you have the nerve to encourage more women to quit their job, quit school, not have a career, depend on their husband and stay home? What kind of 1950′s way of thinking is that? What was the point of fighting for women rights then? You want to take care of your kids, there is nothing we should praise you about because you are SUPPOSED to. Now, when you said you couldn’t handle going to work and taking care of your own kids, how is that a big sacrifice? That’s LAZINESS and not strong enough to handle both. Get up and go to work and stop depending on your husband or baby daddy.  

      • Momof4

        Bitterness is so evident in your hate speech.  I first of all pity you.  Not that I have to prove a THING to you, but you lit the match.  Where did I ever say I couldn’t handle going to work and caring for my children?  Never did.  I’m an RN.  I’ve worked since 12 – yes 12.  Babysitting, then in fast food restaurants, while volunteering at the hospital in High School for college credits.  I married at 19 and simultaneously went to college (and finished!) , worked as an office manager and raised 2 kids and took care of my husband – who has always worked as well.  The last position I had was in a hospital PICU AT NIGHT (12 hours)  and I was responsible for our 2 year old in the days.  I slept when I could.  My children and husband never had dirty laundry and were not fed by drive-thrus.  I could go on, but have just realized that I am dignifying the undignified – that being you.  Before you judge anyone and their journey – try to talk a stroll on their path.  I promise you would give out at the first curve.  BTW, if you can’t depend on your husband he never should have gotten that title.  SAHM moms are priceless and ideal.  To all of you disparaging us I think you are jealous and bitter.  A papercheck is not the measure of true work.  All kids would rather a present mom than a rich one – argue with that all you want, it is the truth.   Get it together.

        • Pivyque

          All GOOD parents are priceless and ideal. Please don’t sell other parents short because they have decided to work outside of the home. It is good that you are happy with your decision to stay at home, but I prefer to work outside the home because I love my job. Just because a mother is there doesn’t mean she is present and just because she works does not mean that she is never around. My mother has worked her entire life and she has never missed an important moment in my life. She is the reason I work as hard as I do and she is the reason that I am the woman I have become. My mother IS priceless and ideal.

        • BAMMM

          Again, you are not doing anything more special, you are not a better mother in any way shape or form than the woman who is working and taking care of her child point blank. Your husband not having dirty laundry and not fed by drive-thrus, that’s none of my business. No one is SUPPOSED to have dirty laundry and be fed by drive-thrus so again there is nothing special here. SAHMs are priceless and ideal? So when you were working and taking care of your child, you were not ideal? Jealous of you staying at home and doing absolutely nothing, depending on your husband even when you want to buy an underwear? You are just staying home doing nothing, just face it. Everyone does laundry, everyone cooks and cleans their home even the homeless, everyone takes care of their loved ones so how are YOU anymore priceless and ideal than the woman who does what you do on a daily basis and has to work at the same time? You are just lazy, wants an easy way out and depends on your husband (because you think that’s what makes you a better wife and mom, again 1950′s) and you don’t know how to multitask. Please tell me what did you go to school for? If you have a daughter, save her some time and tell her to not even bother going to school and trying to have a career cuz she is going to stay home and do absolutely nothing all day anyway. However, you and your husband should invest in your son’s education cuz that would be worth something.

          • Momof4

            Your ignorance is prolific.  Thank you for reminding me why silence is the best treatment for the unteachable.

        • BAMMM

          “A papercheck is not the measure of true work”. Go tell that to your husband then, Im guessing he is not truly working.

          • GM_I

            Right, she’ll believe those words until her husband (who most likely only got married out of being young, stupid & cuz he knocked her up as a teenager) comes home from work and says “Honey, I quit my job but dont worry, its just a paper check and is in no way a maeasure of my work” smh…she’ll be quit to byyytch & complain once them lights are gettin turned off & her meaningless paper check as an RN isn’t sufficient enough to support a family of four.

      • Momof4

        Bitterness is so evident in your hate speech.  I first of all pity you.  Not that I have to prove a THING to you, but you lit the match.  Where did I ever say I couldn’t handle going to work and caring for my children?  Never did.  I’m an RN.  I’ve worked since 12 – yes 12.  Babysitting, then in fast food restaurants, while volunteering at the hospital in High School for college credits.  I married at 19 and simultaneously went to college (and finished!) , worked as an office manager and raised 2 kids and took care of my husband – who has always worked as well.  The last position I had was in a hospital PICU AT NIGHT (12 hours)  and I was responsible for our 2 year old in the days.  I slept when I could.  My children and husband never had dirty laundry and were not fed by drive-thrus.  I could go on, but have just realized that I am dignifying the undignified – that being you.  Before you judge anyone and their journey – try to talk a stroll on their path.  I promise you would give out at the first curve.  BTW, if you can’t depend on your husband he never should have gotten that title.  SAHM moms are priceless and ideal.  To all of you disparaging us I think you are jealous and bitter.  A papercheck is not the measure of true work.  All kids would rather a present mom than a rich one – argue with that all you want, it is the truth.   Get it together.