By Jazmine Rogers
Dear Husband of My Future,
Although I have yet to lay eyes on you, I have faith that you are worth the wait. Contrary to what I used to believe, you will not complete me, but you will compliment the whole person that I already I am. With that said, I have been and will continue to take advantage of my time of singleness because I realize that singleness is not the plague, but a time for me to work on myself and evolve into the woman that I was destined to be. This is why I will not waste this great season of my life sulking and complaining about not having a man. I was taught that patience is a virtue and great things come to those who wait. So instead of doing all that, I am using this time to attain multiple degrees, pursue the career of my dreams, travel the world, learn more about myself as a person and even learn what it means to be a wife as opposed to a girlfriend.
It is in this time of singleness, I have chosen to refrain from certain activities in which most single young adults in my age group engage in, such as sex. On August 8, 2010, which was my 20th birthday, I made a public vow in front of my entire congregation that I would refrain from sexual activity until the day that you and I exchange our vows in front of our loving family and friends, sealing our promises with an “I do.” Most would see this decision as absurd and unrealistic, but I believe that with God all things are possible. I wish to fully commit myself to you as well as our marriage well before we even cross paths. Although I am in no way perfect, experiencing things the way that God truly intended for them to be done is extremely important to me. I realize that sex is not merely for pleasure but it is a responsibility and a bond that should be shared between a husband and wife. I have also been a witness of the detriment that sex before marriage can bring and I wish to give our marriage a fair chance. Sexual intercourse can spiritually and emotionally tie you to a person and I wish to walk with as little baggage as humanly possible in your direction. No disrespect to anyone else and their choices.
With baggage in mind I have also made the conscious decision to refrain from recreational dating because along with physical purity, I wish to enter our covenant of marriage emotionally and mentally pure as well. I will not date guy after guy just because, acquiring broken heart after broken heart just to appease my boredom or to satisfy my temporary loneliness. I don’t wish to come to you with a shattered heart covered in scars and bruises seeking for you to put the pieces back together. I refuse to enter our relationship not trusting you because of something some other guy did or did not do in the past that I could’ve completely avoided had I just waited for you. I will not jump at the first guy who smiles at me. I have been a witness to church hook-ups gone wrong that have even evolved into church marriages gone wrong and have made the decision not to partake in all that. I’ve been the church girl devastated to find out that the church boy she had been dating had been dating every church girl in and within a 25-block radius of said church. That is why I will stay single instead of calling Tyrone as one Madame Noire writer stated. Engaging in frivolous relationships to merely cure singleness as if it some devastating disease is pointless and not worth the trouble that it brings. I will guard my heart as Proverbs 4:23 instructs me to and I will follow the instructions of Song of Solomon by “not awakening love until its time” and setting my affections on no one other than you. Whoever you are.
I’ve been called a dreamer for believing that a man like you exists. I’ve been called unrealistic and impossible. I’ve even been told that I believe that I am living out a Tyler Perry movie, but despite the naysayers, something deep down in the pit of my stomach tells me otherwise. I don’t believe that I am unrealistic for not settling for any old Johnny or Tyrone for that matter. I don’t believe you to be perfect, no one walking this earth is; however, I do believe that we will perfectly balance out one another. Call it picky, but I only wish to be with the one that God designed specifically for me instead of the man who alters himself to fit the mold of what he believes that I want. We may not cross paths for another five years, five months or five weeks, but once again, I have been convinced that patience is a virtue and I am willing to wait.
See you soon,
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