Are You Being Used, or Are You The User? Dating Someone For Their Connections

May 7, 2012  |  

Kim Kardashian should not expect double dating with Jay and Bey any time soon. With her high profile new beau, Kim K. might be expecting a little too much from dating and “parlaying” with Kanye West, including hoping to get a bit closer to Queen Bey.

According to Hello Beautiful and multiple sources, allegedly:

Kim had visions of her and Beyonce hanging out while Jay and Kanye talked music and business, but it’s not going to happen. Bey’s marriage to Jay-Z was extremely private, and neither of them confirmed it until long after the event. Kim, on the other hand, turned her wedding into a media circus, and the whole thing was filmed for a reality show. Bey thought that it was really tacky and is not a fan of reality TV, either. Bey is used to hanging out with Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow—she’s in a totally different league to Kim.

Multiple sources, like The Urban Daily, have also reported that Kris Jenner allegedly has a STRONG (if not thirsty) interest in having Beyoncé and Jay-Z on the upcoming season of the family’s reality show, “Keeping Up With The Kardashians.”

This comes as no surprise, as celebrity couples date in the eye of the public and some like to flaunt their notable connections to other stars to gain press, views, money and more. In the case of Kim and Kanye, their ever-evolving union is suspect as they were allegedly only “friends” for years just a minute ago. But since the break-up of Kanye and former arm candy, Amber Rose, the model put a spotlight on the two. Kim was accused of being a ‘homewrecker’ by the model, allegedly getting in between their relationship and eventually causing it to fail. So who knows, this could be Kim and Kanye’s way of milking that unexpected controversy to get attention, or, they really could be serious about one another…*Kanye shrug*

But due to her fan base, fame and sometimes the very personal slander against her and her family, Beyoncé is known as a very private celebrity, and her alleged reservations about being associated with Kim seem to be justified by Kim’s very public life. So to say that Kim shouldn’t expect to be Beyoncé’s BFF by dating Kanye is probably right. And if Bey and Jay do decide to double date with these two, let’s just say that that will definitely be a sad day in Hollywood.

Away from the public eye, dating and forming a relationship with someone is less of a spectacle, but questionable intentions are sometimes still there. Whether your new beau happens to be a notable partner at the law firm, player at your job or in your field, or a respected member of your church, have you evaluated your “true” intentions for dating them? Could you be dating someone for their status and the connections they have, or vice versa?

Although it might not be as noticeable, it should still be evaluated the same. Yes, a relationship is a give and take partnership, but make sure the intentions of both parties are pure, not professionally or personally beneficial. Nobody likes feeling or being used.

Are you benefiting from your partner, or is your partner benefiting from you in the wrong ways? Here are three problems with that type of relationship:

1. It leaves room for speculation and criticism

None of us like to be criticized for our relationship status or the reasons behind it, but a relationship based on convenience will always be questioned, whether the intentions are pure or not. And as if your parents or friends needed another reason to be nosey about your relationships.

2. What’s really keeping that person around?

While you would probably like to think that your man is with you because you’re just that amazing, if you’re being used, once what he’s trying to get from you is gone or withheld (money, contacts, sex, etc), you’re going to be left faster than a bad hairdresser who doesn’t understand the definition of a “trim” (the opposite of a big chop). Being used like that and allowing it to happen in the hopes that something real will form can bring on more heartbreak than is necessary.

3. What type of statement are you making about yourself?

And if you are the user in this relationship, how are you representing yourself, taking part in a relationship that doesn’t seem meaningful? It could come across as saying that you are only the type of person who dates for status, money, convenience, etc. I’m not saying that you’re a goldigger, but…you kind of are.

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  • Lpatt

    Birds of a feather flock together!! I am glad that Beyonce chooses her company carefully. Especially when it comes to Kim K. Just like most white women, they love to tell their business, and get attention especially if they are involved with a black man..

  • FromUR2UB

    Now that Kimye is an item, that should make it easier for someone with a big butterfly net to swoop the both of them up, and send them to some very remote island, with no access to anything electronic.  Care packages can be dropped to them by air.  That should ensure that they can’t stow away on a boat and return to society.  I’d wave bye.  Won’t miss ya.

  • Mytique

    If Beyonce had any sense, she’d keep her husband and family away from that hoe.

  • Mytique

    If Beyonce had any sense, she’d keep her husband away from that Kim-K.

  • icanbutiwont

    I’ve been saying this from day one. FREE PUBLICITY!!! 
    Kanye goes out with Kim to Micky D’s LOL. But notice he goes alone to GIANT events like Met Gala, Kim is left in the cold.

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  • GM_I

    Dating someone for their connections, status, money etc…hell, thats majority of what women do, the attractive ones at least…the ugly & average just wish, dream or hate they’re incapable of doin the same.


      Hmm. Is that so? And what made you arrive at such a generalized conclusion?

    • Chanda

      Like J. Lo’s track record? Every time she dated someone famous people as sumed she was using them from Diddy to B. Affleck. I think attractive men do it, too though.

  • Cathy


    Every_quality_single_is_welcome_here !if_you_ interested_in_meeting

    • Lpatt


  • IllyPhilly

    I can’t stand Beyonce, with that being said, I hope what they said about not being around Kim K is true. At least B had some kinda talent to get her fame that was off her back. 

  • I think Kimmie is using Kanye to get closer to Bey because Mama Kardashian needs her money honey. Having the power couple, Jay and Bey, on reality tv will send the ratings through the roof. like the saying goes mama knows best.

  • Janietb94

    I just don’t believe that KK is the only one seeking attention…he was photographed with his pants down last week! People are tired of Kanye as much as Kim. Who needs who in the relationship??

  • Honeybomb10

    the economy sucks, quit hating.

    • GM_I

      yup, the more the economy sucks, the more women suck too lol XD

    • GM_I

      yup, the more the economy sucks, the more women will too lol ;^D

  • guest

    Do people realize that B and J got together for similar reasons…. He has said it was a smart move that ” makes sense” Never once has he said I love HER. Just listen to upgrade you. It’s all in the words.

    • GM_I

      How many men & women have said/claimed to love their significant other to the public or anyone with working ears and been caught doin something to them or causing some type of hurt to them you’d suspect one would only do to their worse enemy…so, saying “I love you” doesn’t mean a thing and the fact that ur unaware of Jay Z tellin Beyonce he loves her doesn’t mean he’s never said it, it means he’s never invited u into his inner circle so u could hear him say it or have it published in a magazine or interview to prove to the world (or u for that matter) which is mostly filled with ppl insignificant to their personal relationship…ur basically sayin since u haven’t seen or heard him say I love you than he doesn’t smh…the man most likely says it to the only one in the world who wants to or needs to hear it and thats his wife.

      • guest

        I’m not BASICALLY saying anything but I believe that relationship is based on business, and business alone. No dissertation needed. That is MY opinion. I’m not asking you to agree. But I do know when you are in love you shout it from the mountain top, and SHE has. But he has yet to reciprocate. When she accepted that award and told him “i love you” He looked at her like she was bat-sh!+ crazy. Real love wouldve had him smiling from ear to ear.

    • Twinning

      Your comment is so stupid and ignorant
      #I can’t

      • guest

        Again. This is my opinion. Name calling is juvenile. But if that is your opinion of someone that you have never had a conversation with, i respect that.